The institution of marriage

[RationalThought110]

Should there somehow be higher standards for people being allowed to marry?

[RationalThought110]

Why does there tend to be a high rate of divorce?

[Kiwi]

In Australia 2 out of 3 marriages fail. And most opt for a common law marriage, in stead of civil.

I really don't think it has anything to do with the marriage rites at all rather the intention of the individuals concerned.

[RationalThought110]

What is a common law marriage and could you be a little more specific about the intention part?

[Eliezer Ben Avraham]

Why does there tend to be a high rate of divorce?

the high rate of divorce is the result of many womens' lib groups that brake up families

[RationalThought110]

the high rate of divorce is the result of many womens' lib groups that brake up families

If possible, explain more.

[Kiwi]

What is a common law marriage and could you be a little more specific about the intention part?

Common law marriage is a marriage without civil consent. Civil being governmet consent. Known here as Defacto relationships. If you are partnered living together more than six months you are classed as a Defacto couple and have a Common Law marriage and are entitled to the same rights as a civil marriage.

Which is also different to a Church marriage.
 
When getting married here you sign two different marriage contracts. One being civil the other church only if of course married in church or under the blessing and watch of god.

Civil marriages are legally binding marriages.

Church Marriages are not, unless held for over six months becoming Common Law marriages instead.

When this country was first founded, marriages of the Common Law type were most of all marriages. The pledging of ones heart and soul to another you were seen as married.

As one culture the jumping over a broomstick together was a rite of passage to the marriage.
Exchanging of rings etc.

As  the intention part of my statement.

People get married for a number of reasons,
is a good idea at the time,
they want sex,
they want the party,
its the done thing to do,
they have to because they are forced into it,
they think they are in love,
what to look like they are not being left alone,
Nothing better to do on a saturday night.

I don't even mention the "L" word because that has little to do with marriage.

[Barach Velvel ben Lazer Eliazer]

Divorce is extremely easy to get. Nonreligious people get divorced a lot because they don't need to even give a good reason to be granted a divorce like decades ago. If you want a divorce because your wife doesn't cook your food the way you want, you can get a divorce, and you don't even need to state so.

[Kiwi]

What is a common law marriage and could you be a little more specific about the intention part?

Common law marriage is a marriage without civil consent. Civil being governmet consent. Known here as Defacto relationships. If you are partnered living together more than six months you are classed as a Defacto couple and have a Common Law marriage and are entitled to the same rights as a civil marriage.

Which is also different to a Church marriage.
 
When getting married here you sign two different marriage contracts. One being civil the other church only if of course married in church or under the blessing and watch of G-d.

Civil marriages are legally binding marriages.

Church Marriages are not, unless held for over six months becoming Common Law marriages instead.

When this country was first founded, marriages of the Common Law type were most of all marriages. The pledging of ones heart and soul to another you were seen as married.

As one culture the jumping over a broomstick together was a rite of passage to the marriage.
Exchanging of rings etc.

As  the intention part of my statement.

People get married for a number of reasons,
is a good idea at the time,
they want sex,
they want the party,
its the done thing to do,
they have to because they are forced into it,
they think they are in love,
what to look like they are not being left alone,
Nothing better to do on a saturday night.

I don't even mention the "L" word because that has little to do with marriage.

You mention church marriages. What about Jewish marriages?

What about them?

I was speaking as Australia's culture. It doesn't take into count Jewish marriages.

Where I am the Jewish commuinty is hidden you need to direct that to may be AussieJTFer or Newman they are more contented to Melbourne and Sydney regarding that.

As 100,000 Jews out of 23 million people the 2 in 3 on average still is in place.

As I have stated I deal with our hidden communties.

[Eliezer Ben Avraham]

Too often I think that not only do non-religious get married for weak reasons and divorced, but also I think that the Liberation groups have contributed by defining abuse to broadly and encouraging  a power struggle in the home.

[RationalThought110]

Common law marriage is a marriage without civil consent. Civil being governmet consent. Known here as Defacto relationships. If you are partnered living together more than six months you are classed as a Defacto couple and have a Common Law marriage and are entitled to the same rights as a civil marriage.

Which is also different to a Church marriage.
 
When getting married here you sign two different marriage contracts. One being civil the other church only if of course married in church or under the blessing and watch of G-d.

Civil marriages are legally binding marriages.

Church Marriages are not, unless held for over six months becoming Common Law marriages instead.

When this country was first founded, marriages of the Common Law type were most of all marriages. The pledging of ones heart and soul to another you were seen as married.

As one culture the jumping over a broomstick together was a rite of passage to the marriage.
Exchanging of rings etc.

As  the intention part of my statement.

People get married for a number of reasons,
is a good idea at the time,
they want sex,
they want the party,
its the done thing to do,
they have to because they are forced into it,
they think they are in love,
what to look like they are not being left alone,
Nothing better to do on a saturday night.

I don't even mention the "L" word because that has little to do with marriage.

What do you mean that religious marriages aren't legal?  They're not legal under  their religion?

[RationalThought110]

I don't even mention the "L" word because that has little to do with marriage.

Why?

[Kiwi]

What do you mean that religious marriages aren't legal?  They're not legal under  their religion?

Of course not under the law, they are not civil marriages. I did explain that.

[Kiwi]

I don't even mention the "L" word because that has little to do with marriage.

Why?

Cause only a fool would think marriage is only to do with love. Its about partnerships, sharing a life. Love is something that grows with the pasting years.

Marriages are hard work, learning to live with each other. Love doesn't pay the bills, put food on the table, keep a roof over your head.

Keep your family safe. Love doesn't help one little bit in this area.

Where love comes in is the understanding and coping of what is sent to try us, we can deal with. What doesn't rip us apart makes us stronger.

This is where the couples go wrong, thinking love fixes everything, they soon work out what they feel is not love but lust. and Many can't tell the difference.

Many people that have never been in relationships or had any form of partners fall into this trap.

This is something only experience can teach you.

[RationalThought110]

What do you think of cultures that have arranged marriages?

"In many cultures, marriages are arranged by relatives, often parents. These arranged marriages might be made for the purpose of cementing alliances, or combining the resources of two families. These arranged marriages are fairly successful, and do not often result in divorce. One reason for their apparent success has to do with the fact that they are marriages not simply of two individual people to one another – but rather the marriage of one family to another. Many people, other than the married couple and their offspring, have a stake in the outcome of an arranged marriage."

Well, the divorce rate may be low because those who arranged the marriage don't allow them to get divorced. 


"What might we learn from this or some other marriage practices found around the world? While I am not suggesting that American culture adopt the practice of arranged marriages, what might we learn from this and other practices? What might the downside of this be?" 


Would you say that arranged marriages have a strong family unit?   Communist ACLU types want to destroy the family unit in the US. 


Downsides would obviously include unhappiness as you'd have no say in the matter.

[RationalThought110]

In the community that Warren Jeffs is part of, are some of the marriages arranged? 

I think there have been some stories about some women who were forced into getting married around age 16 but I forget.

[Kiwi]

Half of me belongs to a culture the marriage is arranged before the birth of the child. It has its good and bad points.

Many times it works out a lot better than so called love chosen marriages.

Regardless of how the people gets married, if you are not suited to your partner it will fail.

Lucky my parents grew to love each other deeply and I never saw them fight. They were soul mates.

My mother had a love marriage that failed, then an arranged married to my father.

I could only hope I can have one as half as good as theirs. 

And even after my fathers death, my mum doesn't wish to seek another husband, because she said.

No one could ever replace him, he was her life and soul.

And only with my fella now that I feel that way too.

Sometimes I think it takes time and fate to find a person that you are truly meant to be with.

[Lisa]

How did you meet your fiance, Infidel?

[Kiwi]

On the internet 

And really I could ever of meet him any other way, I don't hang around the US navy, and I know without the net we would never of known each other.

[Lisa]

When did you know he was "The One?"

[Kiwi]

OMG thats hard to answer ... I had a yahoo 360 page and had about 34 people on it, and he joined my page.

And didn't really chat at all. I just about deleted him twice thinking he is egg. 

Then we starting chatting and I kinda knew for day one something special was there.

I wasn't looking for a partner I was flogging my site more than anything.

The more we spent time together the more it felt right.

Its kinda like with you have a problem and you work it out in your own head, that little voice you have.

Well its the same as that the comfort the belong you feel with yourself I feel with him, and instead of that little voice helping you, its his voice, he is an extention of myself. And I know I am that for him.

Its a comfort calmness a oneness I have never in my life felt before.

I can't really pin point a moment because in ways theres many moments, and I know theres more to come.

I know I sound a tad bit crazy but there you go. 

[RationalThought110]

Half of me belongs to a culture the marriage is arranged before the birth of the child. It has its good and bad points.

Many times it works out a lot better than so called love chosen marriages.

Regardless of how the people gets married, if you are not suited to your partner it will fail.

Lucky my parents grew to love each other deeply and I never saw them fight. They were soul mates.

My mother had a love marriage that failed, then an arranged married to my father.

I could only hope I can have one as half as good as theirs. 

And even after my fathers death, my mum doesn't wish to seek another husband, because she said.

No one could ever replace him, he was her life and soul.

And only with my fella now that I feel that way too.

Sometimes I think it takes time and fate to find a person that you are truly meant to be with.

Interesting. 


So they met for the first time the day of the marriage?


When they got married, how were the able to remain happy in the beginning, since they hardly knew each other? 

[Kiwi]

Interesting. 


So they met for the first time the day of the marriage?


When they got married, how were the able to remain happy in the beginning, since they hardly knew each other? 

They were well chosen, their strengths and weaknesses were taken into account, beliefs, life styles and matched on that. They had known of each other prior to the marriage, and both looked each other over.

And the contract was made.

My father had little education, but had vast skills in his job, mum highly educated and already had a child, and knew how to raise us. Mum needed husband that had a job and could support her, dad required a wife and wanted kids. It was simple.

They started as friends in the marriage at any stage if it didn't work another match would of been made.

By as fate had it they both clicked at the start and they never looked back.

There was times when it was hard in anyones life, but this is where knowing your partner and having something there more than love, comes into it.

As mum says they were two sides of the same coin, once joined it was just so wrong to be apart.

They spent time apart when my father was at sea, but then they were together 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 25 years until he died.

We created family businesses, mum work along side dad everyday, what one lacked the other would make up as their strength. Together they were an unbeatable force.

As the saying goes one stick is eay to break, many sticks together as one is nearly impossible.

This was the founding idea of my family unit.

[newman]

The Infidel's right. Love in the marriage sense is a crock.

People spend their whole lives now waiting for some whirl-wind, intoxicating love that only happens in the movies or silly women's romance novels.

Jewish people used to find spouses for their children based on what made a good partnership (Love? Shmove!. What do young people know?). The two would grow to love each other over time. That worked.

[New Yorker]

People spend their whole lives now waiting for some whirl-wind, intoxicating love that only happens in the movies or silly women's romance novels.

No, I get those, whirl-wind, intoxicating loves, lasts about 4 months, then it wears out, she gives me dirty looks, and it's time for a new one.