muslims and ham
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What do you call a muslim with a slice of ham on his head?
Hamed
And a muslim with 2 slices of ham on his head?
mohammed
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muslims and computer viruses:
Has anyone heard of the latest virus that attacks your computer called the Muslim virus?
Answer: It always starts out as a minority, an begins by telling the user it is a "peaceful virus". Next they acquire numbers and expect the user to give all the backup it demands, and if the user does not do so, it calls the user: "racist".
After they have got so numerous, they insist on taking over every software in the computer. If you do not give in to their demands, they will either take one software hostage every hour and kill one every hour or else they will send their "suicide bomb" format to attack your software. They threaten to kill any software that tries to leave its control once they have acquired it. It always declares jihad everytime.
The worst format that this virus uses is the "suicide bomb" format. This means that it blows itself up as well as any software it comes into contact with. The process of this always results in the destruction of your computer.
The motto of the virus is this: "We are a peaceful virus, but if you will not believe us, we will take hostages every hour and send our suicide bomb format until you do."
(By the way muslims are masters in writing destructive computer virus programs!)
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scene...a junk shop.
Looking around at the junk, a man notices a very lifelike, life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He took it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "Twelve bucks for the rat, one hundred bucks for the story," said the owner. The man gave the man twelve bucks. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and began following him down the street. This was disconcerting, he began walking faster. But within a couple blocks, the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing . He began to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he ran to the edge of the Bay, and threw the bronze rat as far out into the Bay as he could. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after it, and were all drowned.
The man walked back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," said the owner, "you have come back for the story?"
"No," said the man, I came back to see if you have a bronze muslim.
