Author Topic: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction  (Read 5114 times)

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Offline DALMACIJA

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My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« on: February 10, 2008, 02:20:52 AM »
Republic of Serbian Krajina – Government in Exile

The publication of the article about the crimes against the Serbian Orthodox priest - in 1941.


The Government of the Republic of Serbian Krajina in Exile is honored to welcome Diplomatic-Consular Departments in the Republic of Serbia and to inform them about the horrible tortures and murders against Serbian Orthodox priests. These crimes, which took place in 1941 and during the whole WW2, were committed by the Croatian Ustashi authorities on the territories of today’s Croatia and Bosnia and Hercegovina.

The government of Republic of Serbian Krajina in exile is repeating that these crimes are one of the results of the actions planed by the European colonization powers.
The famous German philosopher named Karlhajnc Desner exposed these crimes in of his books, titled as ”The Politic of the Roman Popes during the 20 Century”. Nations surrounding Serbia (Croatians, Albanians, Serbian Catholics, Serbian Muslims and others) were prepared by these European colonization powers to participate in the extermination of the Serbian Orthodox communities at the Balkans.
The Croatian army was ordered by Croatia’s government to fulfill the biological extermination of the Orthodox Serbs on the areas which are controlled by the Croatian Ustashi government. These actions were partly accomplished during WW2.

The following report of the Italian military delegation in Belgrade describes the atrocities, murdering and torturing against a great number of Serbian Orthodox priests. 
The report is additionally confirmed and signed by Luidji Bonfat and by Domeniko Dal Faso.

Protocol’s number: 465
Document number: 003

Belgrade, 27 august of 1941

Subject: Atrocities of Croatian militaries against the Serbian population in Croatia.

This report is signed and acknowledged by the authorities of the Serbian orthodox church. This article is based on information coming from the places of the happenings.

Voja Vojnovic a Serbian Orthodox priest from Osijek is killed.
In the river Drava are two bodies of two Serbian Orthodox priests found.

Prota Zivko Danilovic the former government’s representative from the town Prijedor is killed. Prota Bogdan Banjevic is killed in 19 July near the city of Banja Luka. Number 07 Prota Steva Djuricis is killed in the place of Ogulin. Before the murder the Croatian soldiers were cutting the chin and the eyes and were breaking the arms and legs of the man. The Serbian Orthodox priest form the village Plaski is killed. The Serbian Orthodox priest Milan Trsic from the place Vrlika was captured (on 10 July) and killed in a Croatian military casern near Knin. The Serbian Orthodox Priest Mihajlo Minic from Valjevo is killed in Zenica. The Serbian Orthodox priest Milos Petrovic from Lucana was killed in Derventa during this attempt to escape. The following Serbian Orthodox priests Dusan Bobar, Milos Savic, Janko Savic, Ljubo Jaskic and Drago Makojevic were killed on 22 July in the place Vlasenici. The Serbian Orthodox priests Borivoje Bozic from Palaca near Vukovar is also murdered.  Prota Spiro Starovic from Brcko is killed.
Prota Vida Visnjevac from Gacka who was ill was throwed out of his bed and killed together with Porta Starovic.

The following Porte were also murdered: Gvozdenovic and Vujovis from Mostar.
Kaludjer Deretic and Monastirlic from Ljubinja (Hercegovina) were also assassinated.
Serbian Orthodox priest Bogunovic from Donji Lapac is killed together with his wife and two children. Their bodies were throwed in a pit between Donji Lapac and Boridjevca where other Serbs are also throwed.

The government of the Republic of Serbian Krajina in exile is applying to the certain countries and nations who have also faced the consequences of Europe’s colonization powers to provide help for the opening of the question about the genocide against the Serbs – in the UN.

The government of the Republic of Serbian Krajina in exile is taking use of this opportunity to show it’s high respect towards the diplomatic representatives of Republic of Serbia.     

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I want advice of a native English speaker or somebody else who controls the English language on a high level. What is your opinion about this article? Not about the content of it but about the quality of the language.

Thank you.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2008, 03:40:22 AM by DALMACIJA »

Offline SerbChicago

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2008, 09:55:59 AM »
 >:(
The truth,justice and Serbian way

Offline DALMACIJA

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2008, 10:09:33 AM »
>:(


Your mad about the content?

? ? ? ?

PS:
What do you think about the text? I mean your opinion of the quality of the language? Please.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2008, 10:11:29 AM by DALMACIJA »

Offline SerbChicago

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2008, 10:46:55 AM »
Yes it was good!
The truth,justice and Serbian way

Offline Serbian Cetnik (šumadinac)

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2008, 11:01:08 AM »
The english was good, but about the article. How can someone do such things to holy men. God have mercy upon them.

Offline DALMACIJA

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2008, 11:10:13 AM »
Thank you comrades.

I also want to hear the opinions of the native speakers at this forum.

I just want to take advantage of this opportunity to learn something new.

Offline DALMACIJA

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2008, 11:57:40 AM »
All right no further responces???


That means that there aren't much errors in the tekst.


Offline JR-Obilic

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2008, 04:57:22 AM »
Republic of Serbian Krajina – Government in Exile

This article documents the crimes against the Serbian Orthodox nation and priesthood during the period of the Second World War.

The Government of the Republic of Serbian Krajina in exile is honored to welcome Diplomatic-Consular Departments to the Republic of Serbia in order to inform them of the horrible tortures and murders against Serbian Orthodox priests. These crimes, which took place during World War 2, were committed by the Croatian Ustashi authorities on the territories of today's Croatia and Bosnia and Herzegovina.

The Government of Republic of Serbian Krajina in exile is repeating that these crimes are one of the results of the actions planned by the European colonization powers.  The famous German philosopher Karlhajnc Desner exposed these crimes in one of his books, titled as ”The Politic of the Roman Popes during the 20 Century”. Nations surrounding Serbia (Croatians, Albanians, Serbian Catholics, Serbian Muslims and others) were prepared by these European colonization powers to participate in the extermination of the Serbian Orthodox communities in the Balkans.  The Croatian army was ordered by Croatia's government to fulfill the biological extermination of the Orthodox Serbs on the areas which were controlled by the Croatian Ustashi government. These actions were partially accomplished during WW2.

The following is a highlight of a report made by the Italian military delegation in Belgrade describing atrocities against a number of Serbian Orthodox priests.  The report is additionally confirmed and signed by Luidji Bonfat and by Domeniko Dal Faso.  Sadly, there were many more victims which have been forgotten.

Protocol’s number: 465
Document number: 003

Belgrade, 27 august of 1941

This report is signed and acknowledged by the authorities of the Serbian orthodox church.

Subject: Atrocities of Croatian militaries against the Serbian population in Croatia.

- Voja Vojnovic a Serbian Orthodox priest from Osijek is killed.
- In the river Drava are two bodies of two Serbian Orthodox priests found.
- Prota Zivko Danilovic the former government representative from the town Prijedor is killed.
- Prota Bogdan Banjevic is killed in 19 July near the city of Banja Luka.
- Number 07 Prota Steva Djuricis is killed in the place of Ogulin. Before the murder the Croatian soldiers were cutting the chin and the eyes and were breaking the arms and legs of the man.
- Serbian Orthodox priest form the village Plaski is killed.
- The Serbian Orthodox priest Milan Trsic, from the place Vrlika, was captured (on 10 July) and killed in a Croatian military casern near Knin.
- The Serbian Orthodox Priest Mihajlo Minic, from Valjevo, is killed in Zenica.
- The Serbian Orthodox priest Milos Petrovic from Lucana was killed in Derventa during this attempt to escape.
- The following Serbian Orthodox priests Dusan Bobar, Milos Savic, Janko Savic, Ljubo Jaskic and Drago Makojevic were killed on 22 July in the place Vlasenici.
- Serbian Orthodox priests Borivoje Bozic from Palaca near Vukovar is also murdered. 
- Prota Spiro Starovic from Brcko is killed.
- Prota Vida Visnjevac from Gacka who was ill was throwed out of his bed and killed together with Porta Starovic.
- Gvozdenovic and Vujovis from Mostar - Murdered.
- Kaludjer Deretic and Monastirlic from Ljubinja (Hercegovina) - Assassinated.
- Serbian Orthodox priest Bogunovic from Donji Lapac is killed together with his wife and two children. Their bodies were throwed in a pit between Donji Lapac and Boridjevca where other Serbs were also thrown.

The government of the Republic of Serbian Krajina in exile is calling out the countries and nations who have also faced prosecution at the hands of the extended nazi regime.   We will appreciate your assistance in bringing the issue of the genocide against the Serbian people in front of the UN.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2008, 05:03:14 AM by JR-Obilic »
All or nothing.

Offline JR-Obilic

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2008, 05:02:20 AM »
That's a few things fixed although i would definitelly go over it more.  What exactly are u using this for?

It gets confusing at some points like when u start listing the names of people who have been killed its kind of unorganized and if your gonna quote another aticle it has to be more clear, and u should include the other article otherwise people will get confused. 

Also if your gonna discuss the crimes against the priesthood you should definitelly tie that into the crimes against the population a bit more since over 500 000 serbian people were killed.  So if i were you i'd probly take away the list of names and just add to that aspect of it.  Although you should definitelly highlight the crimes aagainst the church.  You also need to clearly highlight the connection between the Croats and the Nazis.

I like to  see this kind of work though.  Once u finalize it and im not as stoned as i am right now i will go over it more.  Good idea with the article.  Keep it up!   O0
« Last Edit: February 12, 2008, 05:08:56 AM by JR-Obilic »
All or nothing.

Offline DALMACIJA

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2008, 12:20:20 PM »
Brate JR- Obilic,

Yes, I was looking for those kind of corrections which are provided now by you!

My compliments. You speak like a native. I am surprised.
I must say that you really control the English language on a high level.

This article is a translation of a Serbian article.
Which was written by the members of the Serbian Republic of Krajina’s government in exile.

I am translating a couple of those articles for them.
From Serbian into English. The members of RSK’s government will distribute the translations.

Your brains are really Serbian, thank you again.
This is important. 

Offline DALMACIJA

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2008, 12:20:39 PM »
JR Obilic,

Thanks again. I understand your idea.
But I am just doing the translations. I can not put other things into the document.

I am very glad with your advice.
I hope to cooperate with you again in the future.





Offline JR-Obilic

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2008, 04:29:37 PM »
Thank u my brother.  I came here when i was 8 years old and dropped out of high school in grade 11, so i guess my English is pretty good considering those factors.  Since this document is important we should definitelly perfect it, maybe even find a professional to go over it after u perfect it more.  Of course, i'm here to help as well...  It makes me proud as a Serb when i see other Serbs making a honest and productive effort like this instead of just arguing with eachother about who is a bigger Serb.   ;)
All or nothing.

Offline Serbian Cetnik (šumadinac)

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2008, 04:42:07 AM »
hahaha obilic thanks a lot for that one:P

Offline JTFFan

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Re: My Article, Please provide grammatical correction
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2008, 10:04:24 PM »
Thank u my brother.  I came here when i was 8 years old and dropped out of high school in grade 11, so i guess my English is pretty good considering those factors.  Since this document is important we should definitelly perfect it, maybe even find a professional to go over it after u perfect it more.  Of course, i'm here to help as well...  It makes me proud as a Serb when i see other Serbs making a honest and productive effort like this instead of just arguing with eachother about who is a bigger Serb.   ;)

Thanks and yes your English is very good O0