The Ask Lubab "Show"

[Lubab]

I know that Jews are allowed to own slaves taken from the captives of their defeated enemies.  Are Gentiles also allowed to own slaves? 

Yes. In that context of defeated enemies? Yes. But it would be better translated as "indentured servants" than "slaves".

[Lubab]

Great answer!  Thanks so much.  On the marketing side of things we live in a society in the USA with so much religious corruption. In LA, Baltimore, NYC... where ever, there are inner city churches on the verge of bankruptcy that have little old ladies giving every extra penny they have to the church while the pastor drives around in a fancy car and lives in a rich suburban enclave.  So when outsiders read a line about giving money to a good cause and G-d will bless you they become suspicious because it appears that the majority of people who use that line in the USA are incredibly corrupt.  Here at JTF we are trying to attract new people and that probably is not the best line for new people, but if the old people properly understand it like you explained then they will be more likely to give money that can be used to attract new people in different ways.

Now 2 more questions.
1. Do you come from a religious family?
2. If you encountered a 30 year old Jewish male who wanted to become more religious but he had some problems, what problem would you tell him to eliminate first in order to become more religious? Here are his problems:
a. Unmarried
b. Has had relations with non-jewish women and continues to do so
c. Does not Keep Kosher
d. Does not Keep the sabbath
e. Does not goto an Orthodox Shul, only goes to Shul on: High Holidays, to avoid the fast of the first born before Passover, and on Shavuot
f. Does not Study Torah

Keep in mind some of these problems are easier to eliminate than others. It is also noteworthy to mention that he has already eliminated Pig and Crab from his diet, he has always fasted on yom kippor, he fasts on Tisha B'av, he gives to Jewish charity on occasion, a Lubavitch rabbi gave him a mezuzah that he properly put on his front door entance.

Thanks

Not knowing this person it's a difficult thing to answer.
In general he should focus on doing positive things before stopping himself from doing negative things.
In general he should focus on things that are easy for him to do and things that he is excited about. This will make the more difficult things less difficult.

I would put regular laying of tefillin at the top of the list of positive things he could do if he is willing to do that.
After that I would put Torah learning, and keeping Kosher. All three of those are part of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's 10 mitzvah campaigns which were geared to help fix up the world so all three of those are wonderful things to start doing.
 

[Lubab]

Lubab, do you think it is possible to memorize the entire Torah and Mishnah like we used to do 2000 years ago?  I think it is very possible if only the Yeshivot were dedicated to doing this.  What is your opinion?

JDL4ever,

I wanted to add one thing to my response to this question. I spoke about it with my Rabbi and he mentioned that the Alter Rebbe says in his Hilchos Talmud Torah that today since most all of our learning is written in books already our focus shouldn't be to memorize what it says in those books but to cultivate the skills necessary to UNDERSTAND those books and specifically how to draw out the halacha or practical applications from what they say.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Great answer!  Thanks so much.  On the marketing side of things we live in a society in the USA with so much religious corruption. In LA, Baltimore, NYC... where ever, there are inner city churches on the verge of bankruptcy that have little old ladies giving every extra penny they have to the church while the pastor drives around in a fancy car and lives in a rich suburban enclave.  So when outsiders read a line about giving money to a good cause and G-d will bless you they become suspicious because it appears that the majority of people who use that line in the USA are incredibly corrupt.  Here at JTF we are trying to attract new people and that probably is not the best line for new people, but if the old people properly understand it like you explained then they will be more likely to give money that can be used to attract new people in different ways.

Now 2 more questions.
1. Do you come from a religious family?
2. If you encountered a 30 year old Jewish male who wanted to become more religious but he had some problems, what problem would you tell him to eliminate first in order to become more religious? Here are his problems:
a. Unmarried
b. Has had relations with non-jewish women and continues to do so
c. Does not Keep Kosher
d. Does not Keep the sabbath
e. Does not goto an Orthodox Shul, only goes to Shul on: High Holidays, to avoid the fast of the first born before Passover, and on Shavuot
f. Does not Study Torah

Keep in mind some of these problems are easier to eliminate than others. It is also noteworthy to mention that he has already eliminated Pig and Crab from his diet, he has always fasted on yom kippor, he fasts on Tisha B'av, he gives to Jewish charity on occasion, a Lubavitch rabbi gave him a mezuzah that he properly put on his front door entance.

Thanks

Not knowing this person it's a difficult thing to answer.
In general he should focus on doing positive things before stopping himself from doing negative things.
In general he should focus on things that are easy for him to do and things that he is excited about. This will make the more difficult things less difficult.

I would put regular laying of tefillin at the top of the list of positive things he could do if he is willing to do that.
After that I would put Torah learning, and keeping Kosher. All three of those are part of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's 10 mitzvah campaigns which were geared to help fix up the world so all three of those are wonderful things to start doing.
 

Whatt  , with all due respect I thought its the exact opposite. Whats Tefillin worth if one is sleeping with a gentile women (the worst sin in Judaism), I agree that the first positive thing one should do is learn Torah but thats because by learning Torah one is able to understand the mistakes and do Tishuva G-d willing.
 Anyway in Judaism isn't it better not doing a sin, then doing a Mitzva.
 I would think that not doing the Averot would come first (right away without an exception, stop sleeping with women, both not married Jewish and gentile women) and keeping Shabb-t - which is the covenent between the Jewish nation and G-d, repeatedly mentioned in the Torah and to learn Torah which will open the mind and soul and would give the person the chance of making Real Tishuva.

[OdKahaneChai]

Great answer!  Thanks so much.  On the marketing side of things we live in a society in the USA with so much religious corruption. In LA, Baltimore, NYC... where ever, there are inner city churches on the verge of bankruptcy that have little old ladies giving every extra penny they have to the church while the pastor drives around in a fancy car and lives in a rich suburban enclave.  So when outsiders read a line about giving money to a good cause and G-d will bless you they become suspicious because it appears that the majority of people who use that line in the USA are incredibly corrupt.  Here at JTF we are trying to attract new people and that probably is not the best line for new people, but if the old people properly understand it like you explained then they will be more likely to give money that can be used to attract new people in different ways.

Now 2 more questions.
1. Do you come from a religious family?
2. If you encountered a 30 year old Jewish male who wanted to become more religious but he had some problems, what problem would you tell him to eliminate first in order to become more religious? Here are his problems:
a. Unmarried
b. Has had relations with non-jewish women and continues to do so
c. Does not Keep Kosher
d. Does not Keep the sabbath
e. Does not goto an Orthodox Shul, only goes to Shul on: High Holidays, to avoid the fast of the first born before Passover, and on Shavuot
f. Does not Study Torah

Keep in mind some of these problems are easier to eliminate than others. It is also noteworthy to mention that he has already eliminated Pig and Crab from his diet, he has always fasted on yom kippor, he fasts on Tisha B'av, he gives to Jewish charity on occasion, a Lubavitch rabbi gave him a mezuzah that he properly put on his front door entance.

Thanks

Not knowing this person it's a difficult thing to answer.
In general he should focus on doing positive things before stopping himself from doing negative things.
In general he should focus on things that are easy for him to do and things that he is excited about. This will make the more difficult things less difficult.

I would put regular laying of tefillin at the top of the list of positive things he could do if he is willing to do that.
After that I would put Torah learning, and keeping Kosher. All three of those are part of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's 10 mitzvah campaigns which were geared to help fix up the world so all three of those are wonderful things to start doing.
 

Whatt  , with all due respect I thought its the exact opposite. Whats Tefillin worth if one is sleeping with a gentile women (the worst sin in Judaism),

What's not sleeping with Shicksas worth if he's not putting on Tefillin?

Look, it's a start, and it's one of the easiest Mitzvos to perform...

[Lubab]

Great answer!  Thanks so much.  On the marketing side of things we live in a society in the USA with so much religious corruption. In LA, Baltimore, NYC... where ever, there are inner city churches on the verge of bankruptcy that have little old ladies giving every extra penny they have to the church while the pastor drives around in a fancy car and lives in a rich suburban enclave.  So when outsiders read a line about giving money to a good cause and G-d will bless you they become suspicious because it appears that the majority of people who use that line in the USA are incredibly corrupt.  Here at JTF we are trying to attract new people and that probably is not the best line for new people, but if the old people properly understand it like you explained then they will be more likely to give money that can be used to attract new people in different ways.

Now 2 more questions.
1. Do you come from a religious family?
2. If you encountered a 30 year old Jewish male who wanted to become more religious but he had some problems, what problem would you tell him to eliminate first in order to become more religious? Here are his problems:
a. Unmarried
b. Has had relations with non-jewish women and continues to do so
c. Does not Keep Kosher
d. Does not Keep the sabbath
e. Does not goto an Orthodox Shul, only goes to Shul on: High Holidays, to avoid the fast of the first born before Passover, and on Shavuot
f. Does not Study Torah

Keep in mind some of these problems are easier to eliminate than others. It is also noteworthy to mention that he has already eliminated Pig and Crab from his diet, he has always fasted on yom kippor, he fasts on Tisha B'av, he gives to Jewish charity on occasion, a Lubavitch rabbi gave him a mezuzah that he properly put on his front door entance.

Thanks

Not knowing this person it's a difficult thing to answer.
In general he should focus on doing positive things before stopping himself from doing negative things.
In general he should focus on things that are easy for him to do and things that he is excited about. This will make the more difficult things less difficult.

I would put regular laying of tefillin at the top of the list of positive things he could do if he is willing to do that.
After that I would put Torah learning, and keeping Kosher. All three of those are part of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's 10 mitzvah campaigns which were geared to help fix up the world so all three of those are wonderful things to start doing.
 

Whatt  , with all due respect I thought its the exact opposite. Whats Tefillin worth if one is sleeping with a gentile women (the worst sin in Judaism), I agree that the first positive thing one should do is learn Torah but thats because by learning Torah one is able to understand the mistakes and do Tishuva G-d willing.
 Anyway in Judaism isn't it better not doing a sin, then doing a Mitzva.
 I would think that not doing the Averot would come first (right away without an exception, stop sleeping with women, both not married Jewish and gentile women) and keeping Shabbat - which is the covenent between the Jewish nation and G-d, repeatedly mentioned in the Torah and to learn Torah which will open the mind and soul and would give the person the chance of making Real Tishuva.

Ask your Rabbis about "Asei Doche Lo Saaseh". The positive commandments ALWAYS take precedence over the negative ones.

You also need to understand that there are two ways to heal a sickness. You can heal the sick organ, or you can also strengthen the rest of the body so it can heal the sick one on it's own. We are taking the second path here and you really need to get your own show.

You also need to understand that when you make Judaism out to be only about what you can't do, people will lose interest and will not want to keep the negative or the positive commandments.

You start with what you CAN do and what you enjoy and mitzvah goreret mitzvah...this is the proven way of success in bringing people to the path of torah.

Please Tzvi, next time: PM me for comments like this.

I don't really want to have debates here. I want to have questions and answers only.


P.S. The tefillin is a mitzvah unto itself no matter what you have done the rest of the day. It is one of those mitzvot that is in a way keeping the whole Torah through that mitzvah. It will also help bind a person's intellect to G-d in a way that they won't really want to sleep with a shiksa in good time.

[MassuhDGoodName]

What if you were with a gentile woman but couldn't get to sleep?

Does that mean that "the greatest sin in all of Judaism" (what?) was not committed?

[Lubab]

Thanks for pointing that out.

It is NOT the worst sin in Judaism.

It does not even carry the death penalty. It carries Makas Mardus "lashes instituted by the Rabbis". Nowhere close to the worst sin if you are going by the punishments but in a sense each aveira does separate us from G-d equally.

[Raulmarrio2000]

Noahides (non-Jews) are allowed to have marital relations without marriage.
It may even be preferable to just move in with a girlfriend and specifically state that you are NOT married to avoid the very strict consequences of adultery (the death penalty).

Even being allowed by Hallacha, if a Noahide has a relation with a woman, but no marriage, no steady family? Who would take care of the child they may have? And if they use a contraceptive (even a contraceptive not forbidden by the Noahide Law), wouldn't it be to pervert the purpose of sexual relations, which are meant to preserve human race on earth? What do you think?

[MassuhDGoodName]

lubab:  "...Nowhere close to the worst sin if you are going by the punishments but in a sense each aveira does separate us from G-d equally..."

How about a case where a Jew lives in a land of few if any Jews, and the Jew's relationship with a non-Jewish woman is the only catalyst in his life teaching him various Biblical concepts (regardless of her faith being Christian) to the extent that the Jew is made curious enough to begin a search to reclaim his Torah and heritage, and then takes it upon himself to read the entire Torah and begin seeking guidance from more knowledgeable Jews? (thanks to the internet now making such communications commonplace).

Isn't it possible that G-d truly works in mysterious ways?

One of my very favorite movies of all time:  "The Left Hand of G-d" starring Humphrey Bogart...a brilliant story of how G-d can even make use of sin in His Work of redemption.

[Lubab]

lubab:  "...Nowhere close to the worst sin if you are going by the punishments but in a sense each aveira does separate us from G-d equally..."

How about a case where a Jew lives in a land of few if any Jews, and the Jew's relationship with a non-Jewish woman is the only catalyst in his life teaching him various Biblical concepts (regardless of her faith being Christian) to the extent that the Jew is made curious enough to begin a search to reclaim his Torah and heritage, and then takes it upon himself to read the entire Torah and begin seeking guidance from more knowledgeable Jews? (thanks to the internet now making such communications commonplace).

Isn't it possible that G-d truly works in mysterious ways?

One of my very favorite movies of all time:  "The Left Hand of G-d" starring Humphrey Bogart...a brilliant story of how G-d can even make use of sin in His Work of redemption.

Such things do happen. After the fact we can look back to see how it was for the greater good. The Talmud says that a Baal Teshuvah (one who returned to the way of the Torah after leading another kind of life) is on an even higher level than the Tzaddik. 

Does this mean we should go do sins so we can to teshuva and reach this level?
Absolutely not.

We can only do this looking back. Looking forward we are not allowed to test ourselves or place ourselves in a position of sin.

But we should look to take what we have already done and learn it's lessons and try to turn that experience into something positive. Something that deepens our connection to G-d. Absolutely.

[Lubab]

This is interesting. Is the Makas Mardus still instituted today? I have not heard of it being used ever in my lifetime. Will it return in the future?

What if someone did something that could lead to Makas Mardus today what would happen to them? I'm talking about a "Jew" (supposedly but his Jewishness is in question) who briefly went out with a shiksa...and they were was yichud involved. The gentile woman broke it off eventually because she did not want a relationship with a Jew (even if it's possible that he wasn't).

It doesn't exist today because we don't have a Sanhedrin. But G-d finds a way to deliver the punishment through other means when necessary. But never forget that teshuva (return to G-d or true repentence) can wash away all these sins and a person can avoid the punishment that way.

I imagine makas mardus will be reinstated when the Moshiach comes and the Sanhedrin is reinstituted but something tells me we won't have that great a need for these punishments. I think people will want to do the right thing on their own at that time. 

[Raulmarrio2000]

Noahides (non-Jews) are allowed to have marital relations without marriage.
It may even be preferable to just move in with a girlfriend and specifically state that you are NOT married to avoid the very strict consequences of adultery (the death penalty).

Even being allowed by Hallacha, if a Noahide has a relation with a woman, but no marriage, no steady family? Who would take care of the child they may have? And if they use a contraceptive (even a contraceptive not forbidden by the Noahide Law), wouldn't it be to pervert the purpose of sexual relations, which are meant to preserve human race on earth? What do you think?

Do you have an answer for my question? BTW, what's better for a married couple who have already many children and can't afford another? Use a permitted contraceptive, or abstain from sexual relations?

[Lubab]

Noahides (non-Jews) are allowed to have marital relations without marriage.
It may even be preferable to just move in with a girlfriend and specifically state that you are NOT married to avoid the very strict consequences of adultery (the death penalty).

Even being allowed by Hallacha, if a Noahide has a relation with a woman, but no marriage, no steady family? Who would take care of the child they may have? And if they use a contraceptive (even a contraceptive not forbidden by the Noahide Law), wouldn't it be to pervert the purpose of sexual relations, which are meant to preserve human race on earth? What do you think?

Do you have an answer for my question? BTW, what's better for a married couple who have already many children and can't afford another? Use a permitted contraceptive, or abstain from sexual relations?

Raul I see your question. I'm just want to check with a senior Rabbinic authority before I respond so I don't say something wrong. Alright?

I see everyone's questions. If I don't answer it is probably for the above reason so just be patient.

[Lubab]

Noahides (non-Jews) are allowed to have marital relations without marriage.
It may even be preferable to just move in with a girlfriend and specifically state that you are NOT married to avoid the very strict consequences of adultery (the death penalty).

Even being allowed by Hallacha, if a Noahide has a relation with a woman, but no marriage, no steady family? Who would take care of the child they may have? And if they use a contraceptive (even a contraceptive not forbidden by the Noahide Law), wouldn't it be to pervert the purpose of sexual relations, which are meant to preserve human race on earth? What do you think?

Okay Raul.

Let me try to clarify a few things. Non-Jews can get away with a LOT under the Noahide laws. This does not mean, however, that donig certain things they are allowed to do, is the best thing for them to do.

Ideally a Noahide should get married and have children. No contraception.

We were talking about whether we were going to punish a non-Jews for premartial sex which is another issue.

I then made the point (hopefully it was clear ) that if someone WILL NOT get married, having a girlfriend would be preferable to masturbation. But the best thing is to get married and have kids, make no mistake about it.

If this boyfriend and girlfriend have a child they should be responsible to take care of that child. Will this be the best things for the child?
Probably not. The best thing would be if they would marry and give the child a stable home.

[Lubab]

Noahides (non-Jews) are allowed to have marital relations without marriage.
It may even be preferable to just move in with a girlfriend and specifically state that you are NOT married to avoid the very strict consequences of adultery (the death penalty).

Even being allowed by Hallacha, if a Noahide has a relation with a woman, but no marriage, no steady family? Who would take care of the child they may have? And if they use a contraceptive (even a contraceptive not forbidden by the Noahide Law), wouldn't it be to pervert the purpose of sexual relations, which are meant to preserve human race on earth? What do you think?

Do you have an answer for my question? BTW, what's better for a married couple who have already many children and can't afford another? Use a permitted contraceptive, or abstain from sexual relations?

For Jews financial distress is not a very strong reason to give a dispensation for use of a contraceptive. The notion  that "I cannot afford another child" can often be a self-fulfillilng prophesy. Most people could afford another if they planned smart and worked harder.

The rules on contraceptive are more lenient for Noahides but it's still not a good thing. Abstaining from sexual relations might be an even worse thing.

I know that's not a clear answer but I hope that at least steers you in the right direction.
   

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Shalom Lubab,
  can you just tell me the outline of- what is the Halacha of lets say a Jewish couple has a few kids (or one), but doesn't want to have more kids at a certain time, I was wondering if having relations but using something to prevent pregnancy is allowed or not.

[Lubab]

Shalom Lubab,
  can you just tell me the outline of- what is the Halacha of lets say a Jewish couple has a few kids (or one), but doesn't want to have more kids at a certain time, I was wondering if having relations but using something to prevent pregnancy is allowed or not.

Shalom Tzvi and welcome to the Ask Lubab "Show",

This kind of thing needs to be handled on a case by case basis. The particular couple needs to ask a competent Rov and describe their own particular situation.

As a general rule birth control pills will always be preferable to condoms which are (to my knowledge) never permitted.
As a general rule the bigger the chance that the woman can get pregnant the more likely the Rov is to allow that kind of birth control.
As a general rule money is not a good excuse to stop having kids.
As a general rule the main reason women can get a dispensation to use birth control aside from health reasons is because they think they will go insane if they have any more kids.

The problem here is wasting seed which is a big problem for Jews and a problem for Noahides too though not to the same extent.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Shalom Lubab,
  can you just tell me the outline of- what is the Halacha of lets say a Jewish couple has a few kids (or one), but doesn't want to have more kids at a certain time, I was wondering if having relations but using something to prevent pregnancy is allowed or not.

Shalom Tzvi and welcome to the Ask Lubab "Show",

This kind of thing needs to be handled on a case by case basis. The particular couple needs to ask a competent Rov and describe their own particular situation.

As a general rule birth control pills will always be preferable to condoms which are (to my knowledge) never permitted.
As a general rule the bigger the chance that the woman can get pregnant the more likely the Rov is to allow that kind of birth control.
As a general rule money is not a good excuse to stop having kids.
As a general rule the main reason women can get a dispensation to use birth control aside from health reasons is because they think they will go insane if they have any more kids.

The problem here is wasting seed which is a big problem for Jews and a problem for Noahides too though not to the same extent.

Thanks, I was just asking out of curiosity, because I haven't learnt about these things because om not ready to get married.
 What if the women wants more ( , its one of those wonders of life expecially after the first one), but the man doesn't, and why isn't financing an issue? Everything costs a lot of $ these days, he doesn't want to live on charity, and wants to send his children to the best Yeshiva's.  (thats after the fact that he has at least 2 children (One male and one female) which can reproduce (G-d willing), which fullfils the Mitzva.
 As a side note, (something I just remembered), why didn't the latest Lubavitch Rabbi have kids? Why didn't he just get another wife for himself?

[Ari]

Good show, Lubab.  Interesting questions.

[Lubab]

[/quote]
 why didn't the latest Lubavitch Rabbi have kids? Why didn't he just get another wife for himself?
[/quote]

I'm really not sure. He knew a heck of a lot more Torah than I do so I know he had a good justification. He was a very meticulous observer of halacha in all respects. Maybe he knew he was not meant to have children. He always said that his chassidim are his children, but that doesn't really answer the question.

[Lubab]

[/quote]

 What if the women wants more ( , its one of those wonders of life expecially after the first one), but the man doesn't, and why isn't financing an issue? Everything costs a lot of $ these days, he doesn't want to live on charity, and wants to send his children to the best Yeshiva's.  (thats after the fact that he has at least 2 children (One male and one female) which can reproduce (G-d willing), which fullfils the Mitzva.

[/quote]

Talk about how many kids you want to have before you get married so you don't have this problem.

The sin of wasting seed is very serious. It's akin to murder at a more refined level of looking at things.
So we don't cast aside this prohibition lightly for things like money and convenience. Life takes precedence over these things.

There is also a more general point to be made here:
As Jews we believe G-d runs the world and if He feels you are ready for the gift of the child and His torah says you should have the child, He also knows that you can handle the child and it's an affront to Him to say you are not interested in His gifts or that you can handle it financially or otherwise in your opinion. In G-d's opinion you can handle it so "step it up a notch and make it work" is what we'll tell him in most cases.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Yea, but then their should be maybe over 20 kids per family. If a married couple has 3 or 4 kids, what should prevent them from having 10 or 20? What limit should their be then?

[Lubab]

Yea, but then their should be maybe over 20 kids per family. If a married couple has 3 or 4 kids, what should prevent them from having 10 or 20? What limit should their be then?

I'm very much in favor of big families. I think they are wonderful. If parents learn how to raise them properly the older ones help with the younger ones and everyone is better and more mature for it. When done right the kids come out great. I've seen this in the field.

Even with no birth control whatsoever the most I've seen among people I know is 16 kids.

But the bottom line here is: people always are capable of so much more then they give themselves credit for. People (myself included) impose so many limitations on their abilities that don't really exist. This is true when it comes to children and it's true in just about every other aspect of life.

I think people should have as many kids as they can and accept as many gifts as G-d is willing to give them.
 

I heard a story once that a frum woman who just had her 7th baby or something like that and the neighbor asked her in a demeaning way : "so how many more are you going to have already"

She looked at him and said "six-million".

[Lubab]

It doesn't exist today because we don't have a Sanhedrin. But G-d finds a way to deliver the punishment through other means when necessary. But never forget that teshuva (return to G-d or true repentence) can wash away all these sins and a person can avoid the punishment that way.

I imagine makas mardus will be reinstated when the Moshiach comes and the Sanhedrin is reinstituted but something tells me we won't have that great a need for these punishments. I think people will want to do the right thing on their own at that time. 

Thanks for your answer. You are so right.

BTW, about the current discussion about how many children people should have, I hope I also have 6 million children!

I hope you do too Mills. Sounds good to me.