SHY PEOPLE ALWAYS STAY SHY???

[Haim_Ben_Shimon_3JFB]

A Kushim English Professor told me last semester that "If person is shy he will always stay shy, he has ability to lower the shyness but he will always have it." does anyone know anything from religious point of view or what it says in Torah about this.

[Rubystars]

I don't know about a religious view of it, but I think he was correct. People learn to deal with shyness, but their basic personality will stay the same more than likely.

[Song of Silence]

A Kushim English Professor told me last semester that "If person is shy he will always stay shy, he has ability to lower the shyness but he will always have it." does anyone know anything from religious point of view or what it says in Torah about this.

I can't speak from a religious perspective on this, but I think he's right. I am shy and no matter what I do, people instantly recognize me as a shy person, even if I try to control it or pretend otherwise. It's almost as if shyness is a part of me, which will never go away. As this Prof. has rightly said, you may reduce or suppress it, but it's always there. I guess that's because shyness is part of who you are.

[kellymaureen]

I agree I think its just a part of your personality.  There are people who are naturally very outgoing and those who are very shy, and those who are in the middle, its just who you are.  Ive never been shy, but I know people who are VERY shy.  I think you can overcome it somewhat, but it will always be a part of you.

[Ari]

Interesting points.  I've always been kind of shy, unless I'm pushed, lol.

[Haim_Ben_Shimon_3JFB]

Interesting points.  I've always been kind of shy, unless I'm pushed, lol.

i hate to be pushed i guess thats the lowest kind of shyness. At least on this Forum i could speak up. i just usually dont like to share my views specially in college among strangers. i have a feeling that my views are more important and i cant just let strangers know what i think so then later they will say "oh i knew this idiot he thought this..." or "i knew this guy and his view is like this..." what if they seal my ideas b/c i have a lot of good ones?? 

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Its one of 3 fine gifts G-d gave Israel at Mt. Sinai.

Jerusalem Talmud, Kiddushin 4:1
  "G-d gave Israel 3 fine gifts. He made them merciful, shy and kind......................................And that they were shy? (Ex. 2017) Fear of sin is a mark of the shy. If someone has no shyness, his ancestors clearly were not at Mt. Sinai.

 (also brought in Ore Harayon (english) p. 171.

[MassuhDGoodName]

There has been some recent scientific research based on genetics which would seem to point out that there is at least some "genetic" marker for "shyness", and at least some cases of shyness might have an inherited component.

It would stand to reason that there are also many "shy" people as a result of environmental reasons (upbringing).

I myself used to be somewhat "shy", but have learned to overcome most of it.  After a while it's easy to just "not care" whether or not a group of strangers are welcoming or not.

[Ari]

Good insight Tzvi.  Now I know it is a gift.

[Ari]

Yes, good point Mills.  I think I'm more the healthy one fortunately.

[JTFFan]

I too agree with Tzvi on this.

Personally, I think there are different types of shyness. Good shyness & healthy, relating with religion. And a negative psychological shyness. I am shy when it comes with religion, I don't do things that women don't do (that feminist women do-no need to go into details, but I am sure many here understand)I am shy when it comes to religion and I am modest completely. So that's a good thing, and I know my place, I would never want more than I can have.  So that's good shyness.

But the bad type of psychological shyness is different. It's shyness that can be devastating, since a person may never be able to speak up for themselves, people can walk all over you and you can see injustice and just cry about it secretly. I used to be that kind of shy person, and people took advantage of me at school or work. But I got over that and now I am a fighter for life. No one wants to feel voiceless in life. Sometimes we talk the secular talk but we must also let our souls speak.

So, I guess it depends on the kind of shyness. The good and healthy one or the one that takes your voice away.

Excellent point Mills

Yes, I believe also that shyness is mainly "environmental." I suppose the environmental part over time can have some time of effect on the so-called "inherited" shyness, maybe on the genes and the way they are expressed.