Kahanist Singles > Jewish Singles
Pre-Marital sex. What is your take??
DownwithIslam:
--- Quote from: Yacov Menashe Ben Rachamim on June 13, 2008, 02:16:40 AM ---
--- Quote from: DownwithIslam on June 13, 2008, 02:01:41 AM ---
--- Quote from: Rubystars on June 13, 2008, 01:41:14 AM ---Not to get too graphic but you can't know for sure whether someone is a virgin or not simply based on a certain thing being intact or not. It can be broken in many nonsexual ways.
When I hear of the price that "non virgins" have to pay in Arab countries, I always think of a young virgin girl having sex with her husband for the first time, the first man she's ever had sex with, maybe even someone she loves, and everything going suddenly, horrible wrong, with him accusing her of not being a virgin (wrongly) because there's no "blood on the sheets" and no intact you-know-what when he does you know what.
--- End quote ---
I agree with you rubystars. This whole idea is not something I am comfortable with. How could someone throw his bride out simply because she was not a virgin? I am sure these types of marriages won't last anyways as he clearly couldn't give a damn about her.
--- End quote ---
It should be discussed before the wedding. I would never marry a woman unless I first knew she was a virgin.
--- End quote ---
Yacov, if you met a woman who was perfect for you and you trully had feeliing for her, would you end the relationship if you found out she was not a virgin. She will not remain a virgin if she marries anyhow so I dont think a relationship should be based upon this.
DownwithIslam:
But the fundamental question is if it is worth not befriending someone who would be perfect for you just because they have engaged in relations already.
Mishmaat:
--- Quote from: DownwithIslam on June 13, 2008, 02:41:07 AM ---
Yacov, if you met a woman who was perfect for you and you trully had feeliing for her, would you end the relationship if you found out she was not a virgin. She will not remain a virgin if she marries anyhow so I dont think a relationship should be based upon this.
--- End quote ---
I'm not as discriminating as Yacov. I'm willing to marry a non-virgin.
Gruzinit:
--- Quote from: DownwithIslam on June 13, 2008, 02:01:41 AM ---
--- Quote from: Rubystars on June 13, 2008, 01:41:14 AM ---Not to get too graphic but you can't know for sure whether someone is a virgin or not simply based on a certain thing being intact or not. It can be broken in many nonsexual ways.
When I hear of the price that "non virgins" have to pay in Arab countries, I always think of a young virgin girl having sex with her husband for the first time, the first man she's ever had sex with, maybe even someone she loves, and everything going suddenly, horrible wrong, with him accusing her of not being a virgin (wrongly) because there's no "blood on the sheets" and no intact you-know-what when he does you know what.
--- End quote ---
I agree with you rubystars. This whole idea is not something I am comfortable with. How could someone throw his bride out simply because she was not a virgin? I am sure these types of marriages won't last anyways as he clearly couldn't give a damn about her.
--- End quote ---
When my mother was 16-years-old, she was forced into an arranged marriage. The marraige was horrid from the start, and within a year my mother got a divorce.
After her divorce, some me in the local village thought that just because she was a divorcee, it meant she was a whore. When men did approach her, they made it obvious that they solely wanted sex, and had no intention of courting her or considering her for marriage, they wanted a young virgine bride for that. To say she was devastated would be an understatement, it angers me beyond belief remembering the pain in my mother's voice as she told how men thought she was worthless, when she has more dignity and grace than all of them combined.
My mother suffered and was subjected to cruelty for what, a membrane of skin? I'm not saying people should have sex with numerous partners, I truly believ in abstinence, but if a man could not love me because over something as petty as that, then i doubt he is much of a man at all.
Nic Brookes:
--- Quote from: Yacov Menashe Ben Rachamim on June 13, 2008, 02:51:46 AM ---
--- Quote from: DownwithIslam on June 13, 2008, 02:46:33 AM ---But the fundamental question is if it is worth not befriending someone who would be perfect for you just because they have engaged in relations already.
--- End quote ---
Yes, it is worth it. I would not get close with a woman without knowing she's a virgin first. That's why I shouldn't kiss her before marriage, so I won't form any emotional bonds and then have to dump her after finding out she's not a virgin.
Once you kiss someone, it is devastating if you break up. You become too attached to them. Physical contact with a woman you love should be reserved for marriage only.
--- End quote ---
What, then, if you find yourself in the situation being described earlier?
If you are told your girlfriend is a virgin but after your wedding night you discover her not to be, what would you do?
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