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muman613:
Let me add that it is disgusting to me to think of a Jewish woman with a muslim, especially a religious one. In my understanding this is a chillul Hashem, and unless she realizes her mistake it will be a very difficult issue for her in the world to come (olam haba)... But in my heart I have hope that there is a Jewish soul inside her (if her mother was indeed Jewish) which may one day awaken from its foolish attraction. It is a hope which I personally need to have in order to avoid hating my family which, in some respects, I have had an influence on bringing some back to their Judaism.

Israel Chai:
It isn't lashon hara if you say she married a muslim because she said she married a muslim. Only if he said that he was Jewish would it then become lashon hara, and in this case, saying something would prevent a life risk to her, so it should also be allowed.

Israel Chai:
If I fight to be happy in a horrible torturous situation, will Hashem see that I can survive it and be happy to leave me in it? What can you do other than praying to Hashem that everything will suck less (tried, and I need another method)?

muman613:

--- Quote from: LKZ on September 17, 2014, 12:49:57 AM ---If I fight to be happy in a horrible torturous situation, will Hashem see that I can survive it and be happy to leave me in it? What can you do other than praying to Hashem that everything will suck less (tried, and I need another method)?

--- End quote ---

Shalom LKZ,

Very difficult questions you bring me lately... I hope I can help.

Why are we faced with challenges? Why does it seem sometimes that we cannot overcome them? These questions have plagued us since the beginning, and I don't expect we will get easy answers.

According to my opinion I believe that life requires two things of us... First we must have faith in Hashem, that he will assist us, that he wants to best for us, and that we are capable of appreciating his influence in our world. Our prayers are always worth it, even if they are not always answered (or answered within the time we desire them to be). I know that life sometimes sucks and believe me some mornings I wake up feeling like dirt. And yet I try to feel appreciation, saying Modeh Ani in some manner or another. I wake up to the horror of driving 1hr15min to work each morning, a long and grueling drive I have been making for over ten years now, along with the worries about wear and tear on the car, crazy drivers, accidents and construction... It causes me a lot of stress. Indeed there are times I feel that all my prayers and all my observances do not help me in my struggle to live. I suspect this is the same feeling you have, and I gotta say it is the human condition.

Second I believe that action is required just like prayer. Praying alone is not going to change the world we live in. This is the world of action, and actively seeking to change our situation is required. I have to admit I also have problems in this area as I face the unknowns of the future. In the past my efforts have been successful (in the area of parnassa/livelihood) but my company is not as stable financially as it was five years ago, and many people have been laid off or left for better opportunities. I have been exploring my opportunities but even that is daunting considering I have not interviewed or applied to any job in over 11 years. The one interview I went on where they said technically I was a fit, but my culture was not (I supposed that meant my peyos and beard were not appreciated). Am I going to face antisemitism from prospective employers, and should I shave my peyos and beard (as my mother suggests) in order to get a better job?

My only suggestion is to do an accounting of the things in your life. This is the recommended time to do this, as we are only a week before Rosh Hashana. Be honest with yourself about which character traits help you in situations, and which traits are a detriment in certain situation. Try to be honest with yourself in your assessment, you don't have to share it with anyone, so long as it doesn't depress you to do this. Pick a bad trait and resolve to change it a little bit and find a good trait and think what you can do to strengthen it. Over time you will find that some of these traits are harder to restrain but keep on trying. I have some which have been on my list for many years without even making a small change in it. I don't want to share my own accounting as it is very personal...

I hope this helped a little, otherwise I can elaborate on this.

muman613:
The concept of 'Cheshbon HaNefesh' or Accounting of the Soul is an integral part of the Rosh Hashana teshuva experience.

http://www.chabad.org/holidays/JewishNewYear/template_cdo/aid/971407/jewish/Soul-Accounting-in-5-Steps.htm

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