Author Topic: Funny Joke (Read 1973 times)

Ulli · « **on:** January 07, 2009, 09:28:36 AM »

How do you make a Quranimal barking?

You put it in a barrel of gasoline and light it! Woof-Woof

How do you make a Quranimal meow?

You freeze it and put it in a buzz saw! Meeooowww

mord · « **Reply #1 on:** January 07, 2009, 09:29:55 AM »

Quote from: Pheasant on January 07, 2009, 09:28:36 AM

How do you make a Quranimal barking?

You put it in a barrel of gasoline and light it! Woof-Woof

How do you make a Quranimal meow?

You freeze it and put it in a buzz saw! Meeooowww

I like it

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #2 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:23:30 AM »

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.

Q. How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A. They mark the camels that kick.

Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
A. Nothing, yet.

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
A. A pimp.

Ulli · « **Reply #3 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:25:13 AM »

He he he Great American Hero!

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #4 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:26:06 AM »

Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Q. What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
A. Suppressing the erection.

Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.

Q. What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

mord · « **Reply #5 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:27:13 AM »

Quote from: Americanhero on January 07, 2009, 11:26:06 AM

Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Q. What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
A. Suppressing the erection.

Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.

Q. What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

Ulli · « **Reply #6 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:28:54 AM »

Q. What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

This is the best one

schrodinger's cat · « **Reply #7 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:29:13 AM »

Quote from: Pheasant on January 07, 2009, 09:28:36 AM

How do you make a Quranimal barking?

You put it in a barrel of gasoline and light it! Woof-Woof

How do you make a Quranimal meow?

You freeze it and put it in a buzz saw! Meeooowww

Do not like

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:30:41 AM »

Q. Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Muslim funeral?
A. There's only 2 handles on a garbage can.

Q. What do you say to a Pakistani at Christmas?
A. A quart of milk, a loaf of bread and a pack of Marlboros please.

Q. What do you call a bus with 2 Somalis falling off a cliff?
A. A waste, you could have fit at least 50 in the bus!

Q. What do you call a Muslim between two houses?
A. Ali.

Q. When's the only time you should wink at a Muslim?
A. When aiming.

mord · « **Reply #9 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:30:48 AM »

Quote from: camerakid400 on January 07, 2009, 11:29:13 AM

Quote from: Pheasant on January 07, 2009, 09:28:36 AM
How do you make a Quranimal barking?

You put it in a barrel of gasoline and light it! Woof-Woof

How do you make a Quranimal meow?

You freeze it and put it in a buzz saw! Meeooowww

Do not like

The qurananimal want much worse for Christians and Jews much worse

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:31:16 AM »

Q. What can Saudi Arabia do to raise the average IQ in the country?
A. Allow Jews to come in.

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #11 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:32:45 AM »

Q: Where do you find a Muslim with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.

Q: What's the difference between Dar al-islam and Dannon yogurt?
A: The yogurt has a living culture.

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:33:57 AM »

A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from."

Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from."

Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #13 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:37:02 AM »

Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces.

Q: What's the difference between a Muslim and a dead horse?
A. It's no fun beating a dead horse.

Q. What's the difference between an American BBQ and an Islamic BBQ?
A. In America, Humans roast animals over a fire. In Islam, it's the other way around.

Q. What do you say to a Muslim with his arm all the way up a camel's rump?
A. "Having car trouble?"

Q. What's the difference between Cindy Sheehan and a terrorist enemy?
A. I don't know either.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.

Ulli · « **Reply #14 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:38:17 AM »

Quote from: Americanhero on January 07, 2009, 11:33:57 AM

A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from."

Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from."

Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.

Good choice!

This is joke is similiar:

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #15 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:40:48 AM »

Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.

Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
Neither did I.

Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?

Q. What do Muslim men do during foreplay?
A. Tickle the goat under the chin.

Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you.

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #16 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:43:43 AM »

Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?”

She replied, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #17 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:45:25 AM »

New York 2031

A father and his son are walking the Manhattan streets when the father stops at a vacant lot takes a deep breath and tells his son: “To think that at one time here on this very lot stood the Twin Towers.”

The son looks at his father and asked: “Dad, what are the Twin Towers?”

Father says: “My dear son, the Twin Towers were two tremendously tall buildings with lots of offices that were the heart of the United States, but approx 30 years ago, several Arabs destroyed the buildings.”

The boy thinks for a minute and then asks his father: “Daddy, what are Arabs?”

Rubystars · « **Reply #18 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:48:14 AM »

Why did bees attack a Muslim woman in Saudi Arabia? They thought she was a beekeeper and she was going to steal their honey.

Ulli · « **Reply #19 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:49:12 AM »

Quote from: Rubystars on January 07, 2009, 11:48:14 AM

Why did bees attack a Muslim woman in Saudi Arabia? They thought she was a beekeeper and she was going to steal their honey.

He he he

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #20 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:50:27 AM »

Q: Why are camels called “Ships of the Desert”?
A: Because they’re full of Muslim semen.

Q: What’s the definition of a virgin in England?
A: Any female under the age of eighteen.
Q: What’s the definition of a virgin in France?
A: Any female under the age of sixteen.
Q: What’s the definition of a virgin in the Middle East?
A: Any camel that can run faster than an Muslim.

Rubystars · « **Reply #21 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:53:19 AM »

Quote from: Pheasant on January 07, 2009, 11:49:12 AM

He he he

Thanks I was hoping someone would like that joke.

Americanhero1 · « **Reply #22 on:** January 07, 2009, 11:55:53 AM »

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.

Ulli · « **Reply #23 on:** January 07, 2009, 12:01:35 PM »

Quote from: Rubystars on January 07, 2009, 11:53:19 AM

Quote from: Pheasant on January 07, 2009, 11:49:12 AM
He he he

Thanks I was hoping someone would like that joke.

Yes, I like it.

The quranimals would be so funny, if they wouldn't be so dangerous and murderous at the same time.

Bradina · « **Reply #24 on:** January 07, 2009, 12:57:55 PM »

Wow. Americanhero you are on a roll. Where do you get these jokes?

Highly offensive but still hilarious.