I just received an Email from Chabads AskMoses site which addresses some of questions we have when friends and loved ones pass on.
http://www.askmoses.com/en/article/587,2015841/Advice-for-the-friend-of-a-terminally-ill-individual.htmlAdvice for the friend of a terminally ill individual
Question:My friend has lived for fifteen years with multiple sclerosis. She is currently in a hospice with kidney failure, and is receiving sustenance intravenously. The doctors say that she will die within a month. Do you have any words of comfort?
Answer:My blessings for much strength and may your friend have a speedy recovery.
Doctors are authorized by G-d to heal. They are not empowered to predict the end of life. Life is in G-d’s hands, and we should always remember that, and trust Him.
I therefore suggest that you and she live with these two ideas in mind:
1) Live with the knowledge that G-d creates each of us, and has a purpose for us every moment that we live. Another moment of life means another opportunity to spend time with a loved one; another chance to do a mitzvah and thereby to create an eternal connection with the Creator. Live life and enjoy it every day. Live life and help make others enjoy it every day.
2) Live with the knowledge that G-d is watching over us, and He is all-powerful. No matter what the situation, we can always pray to Him for a complete and speedy recovery. In the words of our sages, “even if a razor-sharp sword is lying on the neck, do not despair.”
It would be advisable to ask for a special blessing and prayer by writing a letter to the Lubavitcher Rebbe at
www.ohel.org.