A Question For All The Men On The Forum

[Lisa]

I decided to make a separate post rather than going off on a tangent on Vito's post.  So here's my question.

Many years ago, my sister's mother in law, who has been happily married for many years, said the following.

"It's up to the woman to convince a man she likes that he can't do without her." 

Now to me, that sounds cold and calculating.  Do you guys think it's true?  Also, if it is true, how would a woman go about convincing her boyfriend that he can't do without her? 

I'm very interested in what you all think of this comment. 

[VforVendetta]

You know, in Israel we have a song which its name can be translated to "Dont play around with a man's feelings".
I think this is explaining alot.
The more a man is confused about his woman, the more he is after her and the more he "cant do without her".

[MasterWolf1]

I think it is mutual Lisa, there has to be signs from both sides.

[VforVendetta]

I think it is mutual Lisa, there has to be signs from both sides.

Hm, I think she is not talking about love between strangers, I think she talks about making a man that is already in relationship with a woman, dependent on her.

[P J C]

MW is right, because if a women starts to act obsessed and then starts to kiss your ass, then its a big problem and an annoying turn off. But there is no way to convince somene they cant live without you. Its all up the the individual.

[zachor_ve_kavod]

Men and women both need each other.  I don't get the question.  Men have their nature which is incomplete and women have their nature which is incomplete.  G-d told Adam that it was not good for him to be alone, but it wouldn't have been great for Eve to be alone either.

A man should have the good sense to know that if he wants to live a blessed and holy life (and there may be rare exceptions though I can't think of any),  he ought to get married and raise a family.

A man without a wife is like a seed that isn't planted.  And the same goes for women.

Now, is it up to a woman to convince the man of her choice that he can't do without her?  I think if she were meant for him, he wouldn't need to be convinced, because he really wouldn't be able to be without her.

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

Lisa, if a man is truly in love with a woman, he'll be begging her to take him.

[Moshe92]

C.F. is definitely right about that.

[Mishmaat]

Ideally it should be a two-way street. I have to concur with C.F.'s brilliant nugget of wisdom though.

How would a woman go about convincing her boyfriend that he can't do without her? You're familiar with the proverb "the way to a man's heart is through is stomach," right?

A woman that can cook fantastic meals is definitely a keeper.

Men, deep down inside, also long for female companionship. It's a natural inclination.

We also appreciate loyalty.

Considering the fact that the two are already going out, there's already a level of mutual physical attraction.

I have to warn you though and state the obvious. A lot of men are often conceited, superficial, and constantly have you-know-what on the mind.

[angryChineseKahanist]

So, you're asking this to 95% of the forum.

I absolutey disagree.
I think it's bull [censored].

A woman should not have to try at all to convince a man he needs her. If a man is disloyal, let him leave. Find another.

A marriage should be between a man and a woman who are mutually loyal to each other.

I hate disloyals and phonies.

[The One and Only Mo]

All this relationship mumbo jumbo is making me lonely

[~Hanna~]

Lisa, if a man is truly in love with a woman, he'll be begging her to take him.

True, true......

[Christian Zionist]

Lisa, there is some truth in it but half-truth.  On certain occasions a man definably need a woman to fulfill the destiny in his life.  However as an individual man can expand his potential in certain areas of his life without the help of a woman.  

I also believe that before marriage (or at least before engagement) both of them need to have a strong conviction that they are going to be life partners until death separates them.  If they have that conviction the woman can assure that she would be an active contributor in certain areas of his life to unleash his full potential.  But I would not like if a woman gives empty promises just to attract the guy with possible ulterior motives.

[MikeyChua]

I think there is much wisdom in what your sister's mother-in-law is preaching. A marriage is a team. If a woman goes the extra mile to make a happy home and to make her husband feel that she is on his side and to be as helpful to him as she can in all of his pursuits, the prognosis for a successful marriage is much enhanced. A man in this situation will also be motivated to reciprocate in any way he can. If a man is stuck in a relationship with a moping kvetch who is argumentative and belligerent, the foundation of the marriage is weak.

[Lisa]

Thanks, Mikey.  I agree completely with what you say about married people.  However, my sister's mother in law was not referring to married people.  She was referring to what goes on with men and women before marriage. 

[Zelhar]

I don't think there is a universal rule for a good matching. For example sometimes a nice man likes to marry a witch (Lennon-Ono, Cobain-Love, Octavian Augustus and Livia Drusilla).

[MikeyChua]

However, my sister's mother in law was not referring to married people.  She was referring to what goes on with men and women before marriage.

This applies just as easily to an unmarried couple. How motivated will a man be to pop the question to a woman who is so independent as to leave him feeling that she will never be an integral part of their team?

[Moodsformoderns]

Hello - Men, today, I believe, are seeking Adult women.  When you say, that a woman should try to convince the man of her worth - it is not an overt process where she tells the man about her self worth.  She just is - he looks at what she does with what she has (so it is not just about physical beauty, but how she brings out the best in herself physically and how she chooses to adorn herself), her emotional strength (will she be able to withstand hard times like we are going through now), courage, controlling her emotions (knowing when to be emotional and when to be restrained) and how she uses her values in real life.  You have to stand for something (religion included) and that is expressed in how you live your life.  Today, we do not value being an Adult - being able to take of oneself, fiscal prudence, little government interference, strong family ties, strong belief in a home and a homeland.  You discuss the values, but a woman who has learned from life will convey this in the way is just is.

[Zionist Revolutionary]

All this relationship mumbo jumbo is making me lonely

Don't get down on yourself Mo, you'll only put yourself deeper into depression and look less attractive to women. Women don't like mopey men, thats for sure!

[cjd]

I decided to make a separate post rather than going off on a tangent on Vito's post.  So here's my question.

Many years ago, my sister's mother in law, who has been happily married for many years, said the following.

"It's up to the woman to convince a man she likes that he can't do without her." 

Now to me, that sounds cold and calculating.  Do you guys think it's true?  Also, if it is true, how would a woman go about convincing her boyfriend that he can't do without her? 

I'm very interested in what you all think of this comment. 

She sounds like a smart lady! It would only be cold and calculating if after she tasted the wedding cake she had a change of policy. I think a policy like this not only goes for the lady but also for the man. If people go into marriage knowing the person they plan to spend the rest of their life with will be an asset to them things will go so much easer in the long run. The ladies notion may sound a bit time weary for todays generation but if you think about it a bit you will see she makes  a very good point. The fact that she has remained happily married for many years only proves it.

[nopeaceforland]

Lisa: imo I'm noticing that your sister's mother in law is right on the money. Although I believe it should be mutual, I notice women doing this more and more.

[Lisa]

So then what's an example of a single woman convincing a man she likes that he can't do without her?  I know that obviously when you're married, (and even when a woman is single, she shouldn't be a castrating [censored], and she should always be positive and as nice as possible). But what specific examples can you think of? 

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

If she has to convince him of anything he's not the one. Screw it, dump the loser.

[Vito]

If the man is interested in the woman, and the woman is interested in the man and she shows it, the man will be happy and show his interest. To put it even simpler, it's mutual.

[~Hanna~]

If the man is interested in the woman, and the woman is interested in the man and she shows it, the man will be happy and show his interest. To put it even simpler, it's mutual.

True.