This is a sincere question I ask myself so often. I haven't overcome so many traumas and I am still suffering from BPD. My weight has dropped again to below 52 kg and in two weeks I'll have exam with my doctor who will surely send me to the clinic again. 
I do never ask G-D for help because I think that there are so many people out there suffering even more, dying of starvation or thirst. Who are poor and live miserable lives. I think asking HIM for help would be blasphemous.
What do you think? Does he hate me? Would a bid for help for myself egoistic and blasphemous?
NO. G-d loves everyone, except reprobates
Psalms Chapter 139
א לַמְנַצֵּחַ, לְדָוִד מִזְמוֹר:
יְהוָה חֲקַרְתַּנִי, וַתֵּדָע. 1 For the Leader. A Psalm of David. {N}
O LORD, Thou hast searched me, and known me.
ב אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ, שִׁבְתִּי וְקוּמִי; בַּנְתָּה לְרֵעִי, מֵרָחוֹק. 2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, Thou understandest my thought afar off.
ג אָרְחִי וְרִבְעִי זֵרִיתָ; וְכָל-דְּרָכַי הִסְכַּנְתָּה. 3 Thou measurest my going about and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
ד כִּי אֵין מִלָּה, בִּלְשׁוֹנִי; הֵן יְהוָה, יָדַעְתָּ כֻלָּהּ. 4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, Thou knowest it altogether.
ה אָחוֹר וָקֶדֶם צַרְתָּנִי; וַתָּשֶׁת עָלַי כַּפֶּכָה. 5 Thou hast hemmed me in behind and before, and laid Thy hand upon me.
ו פלאיה (פְּלִיאָה) דַעַת מִמֶּנִּי; נִשְׂגְּבָה, לֹא-אוּכַל לָהּ. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; too high, I cannot attain unto it.
ז אָנָה, אֵלֵךְ מֵרוּחֶךָ; וְאָנָה, מִפָּנֶיךָ אֶבְרָח. 7 Whither shall I go from Thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from Thy presence?
ח אִם אֶסַּק שָׁמַיִם, שָׁם אָתָּה; וְאַצִּיעָה שְּׁאוֹל הִנֶּךָּ. 8 If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there; if I make my bed in the nether-world, behold, Thou art there.
ט אֶשָּׂא כַנְפֵי-שָׁחַר; אֶשְׁכְּנָה, בְּאַחֲרִית יָם. 9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
י גַּם-שָׁם, יָדְךָ תַנְחֵנִי; וְתֹאחֲזֵנִי יְמִינֶךָ. 10 Even there would Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand would hold me.
יא וָאֹמַר, אַךְ-חֹשֶׁךְ יְשׁוּפֵנִי; וְלַיְלָה, אוֹר בַּעֲדֵנִי. 11 And if I say: 'Surely the darkness shall envelop me, and the light about me shall be night';
יב גַּם-חֹשֶׁךְ, לֹא-יַחְשִׁיךְ מִמֶּךָּ:
וְלַיְלָה, כַּיּוֹם יָאִיר-- כַּחֲשֵׁיכָה, כָּאוֹרָה. 12 Even the darkness is not too dark for Thee, {N}
but the night shineth as the day; the darkness is even as the light.
יג כִּי-אַתָּה, קָנִיתָ כִלְיֹתָי; תְּסֻכֵּנִי, בְּבֶטֶן אִמִּי. 13 For Thou hast made my reins; Thou hast knit me together in my mother's womb.
יד אוֹדְךָ-- עַל כִּי נוֹרָאוֹת, נִפְלֵיתִי:
נִפְלָאִים מַעֲשֶׂיךָ; וְנַפְשִׁי, יֹדַעַת מְאֹד. 14 I will give thanks unto Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; {N}
wonderful are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
טו לֹא-נִכְחַד עָצְמִי, מִמֶּךָּ:
אֲשֶׁר-עֻשֵּׂיתִי בַסֵּתֶר; רֻקַּמְתִּי, בְּתַחְתִּיּוֹת אָרֶץ. 15 My frame was not hidden from Thee, {N}
when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
טז גָּלְמִי, רָאוּ עֵינֶיךָ, וְעַל-סִפְרְךָ, כֻּלָּם יִכָּתֵבוּ:
יָמִים יֻצָּרוּ; ולא (וְלוֹ) אֶחָד בָּהֶם. 16 Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance, and in Thy book they were all written-- {N}
even the days that were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
יז וְלִי--מַה-יָּקְרוּ רֵעֶיךָ אֵל; מֶה עָצְמוּ, רָאשֵׁיהֶם. 17 How weighty also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
יח אֶסְפְּרֵם, מֵחוֹל יִרְבּוּן; הֱקִיצֹתִי, וְעוֹדִי עִמָּךְ. 18 If I would count them, they are more in number than the sand; were I to come to the end of them, I would still be with Thee.
יט אִם-תִּקְטֹל אֱלוֹהַּ רָשָׁע; וְאַנְשֵׁי דָמִים, סוּרוּ מֶנִּי. 19 If Thou but wouldest slay the wicked, O God--depart from me therefore, ye men of blood;
כ אֲשֶׁר יֹמְרוּךָ, לִמְזִמָּה; נָשׂוּא לַשָּׁוְא עָרֶיךָ. 20 Who utter Thy name with wicked thought, they take it for falsehood, even Thine enemies--
כא הֲלוֹא-מְשַׂנְאֶיךָ יְהוָה אֶשְׂנָא; וּבִתְקוֹמְמֶיךָ, אֶתְקוֹטָט. 21 Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate Thee? And do not I strive with those that rise up against Thee?
כב תַּכְלִית שִׂנְאָה שְׂנֵאתִים; לְאוֹיְבִים, הָיוּ לִי. 22 I hate them with utmost hatred; I count them mine enemies.
כג חָקְרֵנִי אֵל, וְדַע לְבָבִי; בְּחָנֵנִי, וְדַע שַׂרְעַפָּי. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me, and know my thoughts;
כד וּרְאֵה, אִם-דֶּרֶךְ-עֹצֶב בִּי; וּנְחֵנִי, בְּדֶרֶךְ עוֹלָם. 24 And see if there be any way in me that is grievous, and lead me in the way everlasting. {P}
Topic: Does G-D hate me? (Read 4061 times)