Author Topic: Guess who is coming to dinner and would like to use your bathroom!  (Read 3405 times)

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Offline fjack

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Guess who is coming to dinner and would like to use your bathroom!
« on: September 13, 2006, 06:44:30 PM »
Our government is completely insane. This is what will be moving into your area and will be sitting next to your children at school.

Kakuma, Kenya—They had learned how to buy bus tokens and clip coupons. Gotten hands-on training for lighting a gas stove and flushing a toilet. Taken a pop quiz on women’s rights.
But for a group of U.S.-bound Somalian immigrants taking a three-day crash course on life in America recently, one topic by far stirred the most buzz: snow.
Staring at pictures of snow-covered roofs and hearing stories about waking up to find a frontyard covered in white, the Somalis (who’d rarely felt temperatures below 60 degrees) peppered the instructor with questions.
“How do I save my family from this … snow?” asked Hassan Mohammed Abrone, 41, a father of two who was already trying to embrace the American lifestyle by wearing a Statue of Liberty baseball cap and a pair of secondhand Nike Airs.
After hearing a description of coats, scarves, gloves and long underwear, another student, Lelya Yussuf, 23, asked: “How can we walk while wearing all that? Isn’t it too heavy?” In an effort to explain snow to people who have never seen it, the instructor asked students to imagine how it would feel to live inside a refrigerator. But the analogy fell flat for some, because they’d never heard of such an appliance.
“This job takes a lot of patience,” instructor Abdullahinur Sheik Kassim said. “You can’t take anything for granted.”
For the Somalis in this northern Kenya refugee camp, passing a class in America 101 is the final hurdle to boarding airplanes for new lives. As they fly toward the United States, they will learn for the first time where their new homes will be.
A speed-read through American culture, the U.S.-mandated class tries to prepare them for what they will find when they arrive. It covers everything from mini-malls and microwaves to same-sex marriage.
{snip}
The cultural orientation class is one of hundreds given each year in Africa by the International Organization for Migration, or IOM, one of the world’s largest refugee-assistance groups, which organizes the class with funding from the U.S. State Department.
Such programs began in the 1970s for Southeast Asian refugees heading to the United States. Back then, immigrants spent months at transition camps, learning the English language and American customs before entering the country. Over the years, budget cuts have pruned the orientation program to less than a week.
“In just three days, there is not a lot that we can realistically do,” said Pindie Stephen, the group’s regional coordinator for the classes in Kenya. “All we can do is plant the seeds of values and concepts they will encounter later. And we try to dispel myths, because so much of what they learn is from the rumor mill.”
Refugees often believe that life in the U.S. will be easy, that they will live in big homes with cars and television sets. Such descriptions come from relatives in America who sometimes exaggerate their prosperity, or from the U.S.-made TV movies occasionally shown inside refugee camps.
“I know all about America,” said Amal Nuradia, 27. “I’ve seen the Hallmark Channel.” She is among the thousands of Somalian refugees at Kakuma, most of whom fled their country more than a decade ago. More than 12,000 have resettled in the U.S. in recent years.
“What do you know about America?” Kassim asked at the beginning of a recent orientation class. Students yelled out their answers: It’s a superpower. People are always in a hurry. Neighbors don’t talk to each other. Dogs are treated like people. Gay people get married. All children go to school.
With only 15 hours of class, Kassim wasted no time, covering U.S. history in less than 90 seconds. George Washington was the first president. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. Martin Luther King Jr. marched for civil rights. Time for the next subject.
Much of the curriculum is based on feedback from recent immigrants. For example, when new immigrants complained about being bewildered by the modern conveniences of a typical American home, IOM built a fully functioning kitchen and bathroom at the back of one classroom. Long flights to the U.S. were so traumatic that a video was added about airplanes, from lavatories to airsickness bags.
Somalian Bantu, who were historically treated like slaves by other groups and lived in mud huts in the bush without water or electricity, usually know little of modern society, needing instruction on such basic tasks as flipping light switches or turning doorknobs. Other students are from more developed urban centers, such as Mogadishu, the Somalian capital, but even they have limited exposure to sights such as skyscrapers, freeways or elevators, and their children have been largely raised on the run or inside refugee camps.
Sensing the students’ anxiety about snow, Kassim spent the next hour explaining U.S. weather. In their textbooks, students read about the importance of punctuality and Americans’ “obsession” with cleanliness.
Of the 25 students, only one spoke English, so Kassim practiced some key English phrases.
“Po-LEESE! Po-LEESE!” the students recited in unison, practicing a 911 call.
Coming from a country without government or law, the idea that help is only a phone call away amazed Yussuf, whose parents were killed and who is traveling to the U.S. alone. “So if anyone bothers me, I just call 911 and the police come and beat them?” she asked. “Life must be very easy.”
Immigrants also heard about U.S. laws. Beating your wife and children is illegal, they were told, and so is chewing khat, the leafy amphetamine-like stimulant popular in Somalia. Performing genital excision on young girls is prohibited.
“If I can’t beat my wife, how will she know that I love her?” Abrone asked, seated next to his silent teenage bride.
Monogamy was equally unpopular with some men, who said their religion permitted four wives. But Kassim shut down the debate. “It doesn’t matter,” he told them. “In the U.S. you’ll barely be able to afford one wife, anyway.”
{snip}
The day ended with a tour of the mock kitchen and bathroom. Mohammed ran his fingers over the surface of the gas stove as if it were a shiny new Porsche. Kassim demonstrated how to use a variety of strange Western products, including toothpaste, shampoo and toilet paper.
“Why must I hide behind the curtain in the shower?” one student asked.
“It’s to prevent the water from splashing,” Kassim explained.
Some refugee experts worry that the classes focus too heavily on such basic household lessons.
“They can learn about flushing toilets and riding buses once they get there,” said Hussain Mahmood, head of the Kakuma branch of the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, which also works with Somali refugees. “Instead, I think they’d be better served by a frank discussion about the discrimination and hostilities they may face as Muslims or Africans in the U.S. What’s going to happen when a woman in a scarf meets some skinhead? I’d like to see more about dealing with those cultural challenges.”
By the end of the second day, however, the challenges of living in the U.S. were beginning to sink in for some.
“I’m starting to worry about where I will live and who will take care of my baby when I go to work,” said Fozia Ahmed Hussein Mohammed, 24 and eight months pregnant. Her boyfriend was not eligible to go with her.
“This is going to be more difficult than I thought,” she said.
By the third day, Kassim was scrambling to squeeze in the final lessons. He turned to finances and budgeting. Immigrants might hope to earn $1,000 a month, he told them, but rent for a two-bedroom apartment averages $800, depending upon the area. “One income will not be enough,” he said.
New arrivals get a 30-day assistance package, including help finding a house or apartment, but after that they are expected to find employment. U.S. government relief programs, such as food stamps and welfare, are also available to immigrants.
{snip}

Original article
(Posted on September 12, 2006)


Offline MassuhDGoodName

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Re: Guess who is coming to dinner and would like to use your bathroom!
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2006, 08:39:29 AM »
ANOTHER GOOD REASON TO INVEST IN THE MANUFACTURERS OF "QWELL LOTION"!

THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE ENOUGH OF THAT STUFF SOON!

ANOTHER GREAT INVESTMENT:
MAKERS OF "FINE-TOOTHED COMBS"!

ALREADY, THE COUNTRY'S BEEN INFESTED WITH ALIEN FAUNA SUCH AS THE "HOUSE CENTIPEDE":
5 YEARS AGO, I FOUND THIS VERY STRANGE, HITHERTO UNSEEN, CREATURE IN MY APARTMENT.  I GOOGLED IT AND FOUND OUT WHAT IT WAS -- IT SAID "INDIGENOUS TO MEXICO"!

NOW, BEDBUGS HAVE MADE A GROWING COMEBACK.  WAIT A WHILE AND YOU WILL BE INFESTED WITH THESE ALIEN BUGS WHICH LIVE IN THE CRACKS AND CREVICES OF MEXICAN HUTS...THEY JUMP OFF THE WALLS AT NIGHT AND SUCK THE BLOOD FROM SLEEPING PEOPLE; LEAVING BIG SORES AND INFECTIONS.

Offline New Yorker

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Re: Guess who is coming to dinner and would like to use your bathroom!
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2006, 10:20:27 AM »

“If I can’t beat my wife, how will she know that I love her?” Abrone asked, seated next to his silent teenage bride."

He has a point!  ;D

 ;)
Nuke the arabs till they glow, then shoot them in the dark.

Offline MassuhDGoodName

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Re: Guess who is coming to dinner and would like to use your bathroom!
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2006, 05:30:25 PM »
I'm glad they want to use my bathroom; they can eat out of the toilet.