Chabad Judaism vs. Reform Judaism

[Ari Ben-Canaan]

I met another Jew today who practices Judaism the Chabad way.  The only thing I have heard about Chabad is that they are "the best", I don't know what makes them the best, but I am curious.  I really enjoyed meeting the Jew I met today.

I am a pretty serious and religious Reform Jew, and I feel more conservative politically than most who attend my synagogue.  I have wanted to start looking for a new place to go to shul when the head rabbi at my temple came back from Israel [he's 110% Leftist, mentions "authors of the Torah" jokingly as opposed to G-d, and he is openly gay which I am told is unexceptionable in Judaism].  He was gone for months and I really liked my temple, then he came back...  it became like WTF did I sign up for here?  Where am I to go now that I have discovered I enjoy going to temple every Friday night?  I am a little sad the rabbi I liked a lot no longer leads services every week, and the other rabbis aside from the head rabbi were highly likable as well [one was even a Lesbian rabbi, and I am told, not sure, but Lesbianism is not prohibited by Torah?  Seems an unnatural lifestyle, literally a paring of that natural cannot bear fruit, tho she does have kids, not my business.].  I especially enjoy the female rabbi-cantor rabbi, her voice is gold!  I really like the guitar music, and the Yiddish piano as well.  I am almost ready to buy a guitar and learn some Debbie Friedman myself!

I love the Jews I am friends with at my synagogue [I usually like every Jew I meet, uncannily].  I try and make every weeks 3-hr Torah study [no rabbis, just ordinary Jews].  I think I will stick with them for certain, they are my friends.  And once per month they have a special type of Shabbat at this Reform Temple where ALL the rabbis are there, and there is a "Kabbalat Shabbat" service which has a ton of music which I really enjoy, this I would like to attend as well and I can sit with my Torah study buddies and this temple DOES have the best oneg cookies after.  But I need somewhere to go Friday nights the other 75% of the time.

I never imagined myself going to a "Black Hat" shul [or being religious, PERIOD], but I met a guy today who insisted I at least try them out.

Has anyone here attended a "Chabad" synagogue before?  I don't have a black suit, should I wear what I wear to Conservative and Reform temples [sports jacket, tan or grey pants, collared shirt, no tie usually - should I wear a tie]?

My Mom is a very religious and devouted G-d-fearing Reform Jew, and I love what her community does for HER, she is part of a SMALL community in a non-Jewish town and they only have one synagogue.  There is no other choice for her.  I live in LA so I have choices, and I hope to move to Israel so I have even more choices.  My Mom's happy I love Torah and temple so she would be fine with me not being a Reform Jew, most likely proud to see me choosing what I choose.  My Dad is a non-Jew, but we call him "Jewish'ish" because he spends a lot of his free time with the Jewish men at my Mom's synagogue [no non-Jew friends, only one who is part Jewish, my best friends Father], and does the drum group there [even gets lessons and bought a $500 African drum!!], attends synagogue with my Mom, and literally, he is a textbook example of a Gentile who "has Torah carved into their hearts" but he likes to study a bit of Torah as well, he likes Maimonides [because of Aristotle].  My Dad's family and he broke apart when he was in middle school or high-school, and they were never there for him or us as a family so I lean pretty hard on my Mom's side.  I think my Dad was closer in a lot of ways with his Father-in-Law more than his own Father [his father literally was a jealous moron of everything my Father accomplished].  I personally don't give a care one way or another about those people; I only have had one set of Grandparents and I inherited my Grandma's maiden name as my middle.

My Father supports both my Mom and my Judaism 1,000,000,000%.  My brother, who is a non-theist [believes in G-d, but doesn't know what else to think yet, he is younger], sent me a Chanukah present [I sent him a Torah, Rashi commentary for each weeks parsha, and gelt gelt gelt.]

I will never know what it is like to have a Jewish father, but I do know Moses did not have a Jewish Father and his Father-in-law Jethro sort of provided that role for Moses and he was a non-Jew [who may, or may not have later converted].  I try and notice how Jewish men are around their kids and my Torah study leader is a Father/big time family man so I have some good influences.  So it is nice to have some Torah morsels to think about when I think about how to be a Jewish man, since my father is not Jewish, no matter how many other wonderful and highly emulateable other things he may be.

What's the deal with Chabad?  What's going to make me say, "Oh Chabad is the best, not just good but GREAT", like I hear from everyone else?  The guy said I might get brushed off by some people because Reform Jews are hassled a bit.  I am my own "Larry David" so I always expect to get NATURALLY harassed in some way, I've got thick skin, and often people who hassle me may be right so why not listen?  I have tattoos, of course EVERY Jew tells me, "you can never be buried in a Jewish cemetary"...  my retort, "which cemetary was Elijah burried in?".  I want a "green funeral" anyway, I am a gardner... bury me in the soil w/ seeds in my pockets.

I am aware that the Torah is pretty explicit about the dangers of a "way-ward son" stemming from a marriage of a Jew to a non-Jew, and well, I was a REAL pain in the donkey for a long time.  I can't say I advocate a Jew marrying a non-Jew as a recommendation [I can't recommend living in a non-Jew area either].  It's hard to have even a non-Jewish room mate and do my Hebrew prayers w/o feeling as if I am putting on a show.  I like to sing my Baruch Atahs, and Shemas.

When I was quite young I was raised, "Unitarian Fellowship", which is kinda like what I go to at my Reform synagogue minus the religious/G-d stuff.  They even do oneg the same way.  There are a lot of non-theist, non-deist Jew who attend my old Fellowship.

[muman613]

Shalom Ariel,

I am not a Chabadnik but I do say that Chabad is the best Jewish organization and the amongst the best bunch of Jews I have met. I had a wonderful experience last week while visiting my father who is dying. There was a Chabad house within walking distance of my fathers home. And I met the Rabbi on Friday night and was invited to his house for Shabbat davening and a meal. This Rabbi demonstrated the true Jewish mitzvah of entertaining guests in your house, and they were the most hospitable and interested in me and my father.

Everywhere I have gone and I have met Chabad Rabbis I have immediately been drawn into their family and the community. They love all Jews, no matter what affiliation you may have. I am leaning toward Breslov chassidus because it is what my family has descended from. I wear side-curls like most Breslovers do and yet this Chabad/Lubavitch chassid immediately took me into his house, and served me a wonderful meal.

I would recommend you give Chabad a try. As much as some may make you think that they view their Rebbe as the Moshiach, I have never heard this from them even when I ask them point blank about it. As a student of chassidus I do understand the tendency to make the leader and the writer of the books which make them a branch of Chassidus holy. I believe Rabbi Nachman of Breslev was a holy tzadik and I understand the desire to be near his grave on Rosh Hashana.

 PS: It is not cool to play instruments on Shabbat, or any amplification equipment due to the violation of the melachot {39 forbidden forms of creative labor}.

Also I don't know what you mean that Moses did not have a Jewish father... His real father was indeed Jewish, descended from the tribe of Levi...

http://www.jewfaq.org/moshe.htm

Moses was born on 7 Adar in the year 2368 from Creation (circa 1400 BCE), the son of Amram, a member of the tribe of Levi, and Yocheved, Levi's daughter (Ex. 6:16-20). Unlike the heroes of many other ancient cultures, Moses did not have a miraculous birth. Amram married Yocheved, and she conceived, and she gave birth (Ex. 2:1-2). The only unusual thing about his birth is Yocheved's advanced age: Yocheved was born while Jacob and his family were entering Egypt, so she was 130 when Moses was born. His father named him Chaver, and his grandfather called him Avigdor, but he is known to history as Moses, a name given to him by Pharaoh's daughter.

BTW, I also sing my davening and I believe that is acceptable as long as the entire group is singing. At Chabad only some of the prayers are sung and the tunes are very lovely and come from a long tradition.

[Ari Ben-Canaan]

Oh, no, I just meant Moses did not grow up with a Jewish father, actually not even knowing himself to be a Jew[right?].

I kinda noticed that Moses never interacted with his own father, though his genetic Father was a Jew like his Mother; he did have some counsel from Jethro, a man who was not shy in telling him things from his role as the Father-in-law Father type of way, and Moses prospered from Jethro's advice.  Jethro was known to be a righteous man, who was a non-Jew.  My Dad is a righteous man of his own heart [with no help from his own parents], he has no religion; and he is not Jewish.  A man of his character being graded against the Noahide laws is too simple!  "7 questions?  That's it?"

Did Moses ever get a chance to lay eyes on his Father even?  Is there Midrash on this?  My Dad is so special to me I get sad for Moses if he did not get to see his own Father, who would have been a slave during his life so very close to him but out of reach, this may likely have made Moses feel even more powerless about the Father relationship he lost out on as well.

Moses had to teach himself what a Jewish man is as he went along on his own, granted the stiff-necked slaves of Egypt were not all Rashi scholar-ed Jews, but Moses still was denied the chance to spend time with his Father as a child.  Moses did not have multiple synagogues, libraries, or the internet with websites like this one to learn from either, so his task was even greater than mine [for other reasons as well of course, which surely reduces my task to the status of "humanly possible"] if I look to Torah I can find things about Moses/Yitro/me/my Dad that makes me feel positive.  Sometimes I like to teach my Dad what I study in Torah, and last year when we talked about Jethro I called my Dad right after.

Jethro took care of Moses children while Moses was gone for many years, yes?  This is a righteous deed which could crush weaker men.

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As far as people who are actually "1/2 this and 1/2" that genetically for good examples... 

Paul Newman, my Mom's favorite actor, was 1/2 Jewish... he played "Ariel ben Caanan" in the classic, "Exodus".  His Father's people were from Poland and Hungaria... some of my people are from Prussia.

"Newman had no religion as an adult, but described himself as "a Jew", stating that "it's more of a challenge""
-And this is why he played Ariel ben Caanan so well!

Alexander the Great!  He was scoffed at for being only 1/2 Macedonian by Macedonian aristocracy... and he turned out pretty well for himself! [and he was kind to Jews, from what I have read.  of all the bad things he did to bad people, he remained kind to those who were deserving of such treatment.  one of my favorite people in history]

Sometimes I feel a little self-conscious about not having a traditional gorgeous Jewish nose like many of my friends do, but my beard growing ability did not come from my Dad's side...

As far as the 1/2's with the "way ward son" images go...  Tiger Woods: Not a role-model, he has brought shame to his family, he has destroyed his personal life, and his professional life has taken a beating because his sponsors [or sponsors customers] do not condone behavior such as his.
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It is very warming to hear that you got taken in for dinner immediately by another Jew upon meeting him.  It speaks very positively of the Jewish community.  It's one of the reasons I am dedicated to my children being brought up Jewish; both parents are equally highly enthusiastically happy about that decision.

Stories like these and others always reaffirm my goal of a positive focused traditional Jewish family...  In a conversation with my wonderful room mate, she asked me, "while all Jews I know are nice to me if I am with you, how come the Jews are not so inviting to each and everyone who is not a Jew right-off-the-bat in the same way"; I responded, "if every other society were as inclusive to everyone as the Jewish society is to Jewish people such a thing would most certainly be so."  Jewish society is supposed to be, "A light unto other nations."     -I can point out my roomate's Mom as a great example of a G-d-fearing, G-d-loving righteous Gentile woman as proof "the fire" is catching on.     -The Persian monotheist Zoroastrians were among the first to pick up on some of the good Jewish habits [as far as other religions go they seem to endorse good values as well, as many ordinary Christians do today].  Judaism has a tremendous track-record of success.

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My synagogue has been violating mitzvoth?  Oh my.  It's a bit much to take in actually.  That I need to investigate further post-haste.  I have come to know my Torah study teacher is a more reliable source than anyone else, including the rabbis, about many things, I think he might have been brought up strictly, but I need to ask him why we do this!  If I have been shooting myself in the foot while trying to be observant it is depressing.

Can you put me "in link" with a site explaining these laws so I can get a productive list of questioning for my teacher?

I love the singing stuff, and a lot of people know "secret moves" to do, like when to clap or snap, or stand up and do the wave, or bang on a bench, etc. that go into the service at certain particular times, I do not know but these are things also involved in perhaps Chabad and other Orthodox styles as well?  I hope to observe and learn from observing in practice more of what I am forced to describe momentarily as "secret moves".

L'hitraot!