In the year 3000, we will live in the Dar-ul-Aman ruled by a pious Khalifa
and surrounded by the bounty our Lord promised us:
All men will be freed from the curse of razor-burns that has plagued
mankind for centuries.
The women, cloaked in tent-like burqas (veils) will be protected from the
sun and their complexions will blossom without help from Este Lauder.
The faithful will never again have to suffer just because the singular
wife has a headache - they will be able to choose from a harem of four plus
forty.
Children will not have to struggle with thirty textbooks and useless
subjects like biology and European History - all they will need to do is
"memorize one book, which holds all the answers". (Quran)
The state will provide free entertainment every Friday in the form of
lashings, beheadings and stonings - G-rated fun for the whole family.
We won't have to keep track of the Bank holidays, as all banks will be
shut down once we do away with the curse of currency and go back to the
blessing of barter trade.
Once the decadent internet is outlawed and the ISPs shut down, we will be
spared the arbitrary pricing and bad service from the likes of AOL and
@home.
Men will have more time for spiritual cleansing rites once the women are
children are banished to the harem after the Majlis-I-Shoora passes the
"Seldom Seen Never Heard" law.
Members of the Majlis will be able to consume mass quantities of halwa
(fattening sweets) unfettered by the unislamic tie and belt.
No more traffic jams and pollution once we go back to riding camels and
donkeys to uphold the Sunnah.
No more load-shedding once we harness the power of the jinns to produce
zillions of megawatts in the Hazrat Suleiman Jinn Power Plant (HSJPP) -
and to heck with the HUBCO!
As for the dastardly Indians, they won't have the nerve to bother us once
we have raised a few squadrons of Ababil (myth: birds who killed elephants by
dropping pebbles from their beaks) and learned the art of parting the Ravi
(a river in Indo Pakistan Sub Continent).
Once we have reached the required level of piety, we shall dine on Manna
(Quail) and Salwa (another pre cooked divine food) from that big kitchen
in the sky - who needs McDonalds and KFC.
The faithful will be spared the ignominy of buying liquor licenses from
their non-Muslim "friends" because most be banished to Dar-ul-Harb for
refusing to pay Jiziya.
We will be free from the curse of the blood-sucking lawyers once we
establish the quick-and-dirty Islamic Justice system, which will be merged
with the Ministry of Sports and Entertainment.
Government expenditure on education will be reduced by firing the likes of
Dr. Hoodbhoy and merging the Quaid-i-Azam University with the one and only
IU, whose Rector will also serve as the Imam (cleric) of the Faisal Masjid
and head up the Institute of Research on Islamic Foods (in the pre-Salwa
era.)
Islamic Research will finally solve the mysteries of the Composition of
Milk and discover the cure for hoof-and -mouth disease (all hidden in the Quran
as the faithful have claimed for centuries.
My brother-in-law, an under-employed physician and cricket purist, will be
able to moonlight at the stadium amputating arms that chuck and beheading
physicists who dare to think.
So, don't let the lackeys of the West, the heretics and Hypocrites
discourage you from following the True Path, the Sirat-ul-Mustaqeem, which
will lead to salvation and glory for the Ummah. Those who stray from this
path will suffer the ignominious 62-7 fate of the Miami Dolphins.
Originally written by Neil Ozman wrote in message news:...
http://www.homa.org/
Topic: Islamic Utopia (Read 3715 times)