Author Topic: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce  (Read 3445 times)

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Offline Rational Jew

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Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« on: November 05, 2013, 03:34:38 AM »
This article is on today's front page of NYPost. What do you think of the whole story? I don't understand why would they make such a big deal out of it? Why wouldn't they better concentrate on the regular abuse of women in Islam?

In my opinion, the whole purpose of this article is to promote antisemitism. Just look at these paragraphs:

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As I zip up her dress, I feign a smile — but inside I feel despair. She has what I long for — a life where she’s free to date men. But men can’t even look at me now. That’s because I’m an agunah — an Orthodox Jewish woman whose husband won’t give her a “get.” Under the eyes of God, I’m still married, chained to someone who refuses to release me back into society.

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While he agreed to a divorce in the civil courts (which blocked his bid for full custody of Aryeh but gave him custody every other weekend, plus every Tuesday and Thursday for a total 12 hours a week), he still holds the trump card. He will not sign the “get,” the all-important bill of divorce which is recognized by halacha (Jewish law).

Civil law governs the legal aspects of life, but under the eyes of God — and everyone who’s important to me — I’m still married to Avrohom. On paper, I am a free woman. But this means nothing in halacha, and I’m still imprisoned by my husband to this day.

On my last mission to ask for a get, a month ago, Avrohom said, “I can’t give you a get — how else would I control you?” I think that’s the key to it all. He insists the marriage isn’t over until he says it’s over.

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Few people outside the tight-knit Orthodox Jewish community have heard of the get — the crucial document in Jewish law which a husband must sign before a divorce is finalized in the eyes of God.

Without it, the wife, known as an agunah, is not allowed to marry again. If she has children, they are considered bastards. The man, however, can move on without a get, openly dating other women.
Jew or Gentile, Black or White - Against Islam we must unite!

Offline Israel Chai

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2013, 03:36:59 AM »
You are supposed to whip guys that do that until they agree.
The fear of the L-rd is the beginning of knowledge

Offline Rubystars

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2013, 03:49:45 AM »
Is it true that he's free to move on (and technically commit adultery) but she isn't without that document?

Offline Israel Chai

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2013, 04:48:06 AM »
Is it true that he's free to move on (and technically commit adultery) but she isn't without that document?

No. If he wants to marry another woman, he needs his wife's approval, and if he is having girlfriends outside of marriage, he has no share in the world to come, and any kids they have are memzer. He is also committing adultery, so the punishment he should get would count as a divorce well enough.
The fear of the L-rd is the beginning of knowledge

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2013, 06:29:07 AM »
If this story is true, the problem isn't Judaism. The problem is avroham.
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

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Offline Rubystars

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2013, 07:09:49 AM »
No. If he wants to marry another woman, he needs his wife's approval, and if he is having girlfriends outside of marriage, he has no share in the world to come, and any kids they have are memzer. He is also committing adultery, so the punishment he should get would count as a divorce well enough.

Thanks for clearing that up!

Offline Tag-MehirTzedek

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2013, 10:43:33 AM »
No. If he wants to marry another woman, he needs his wife's approval, and if he is having girlfriends outside of marriage, he has no share in the world to come, and any kids they have are memzer. He is also committing adultery, so the punishment he should get would count as a divorce well enough.


 No they are not. I was actually in the middle of the article, but I now see it was also posted here at JTF. Perhaps I will comment after reading all of it.

 But for what you just said that is NOT true. His children would NOT be Mamzerim regardless of what you might think of the father (good or bad). We cannot distort the Halacha.
  Also about the no share to the world to come, also no-where is this written about such a thing and we cannot make up Halachot and such out of thin air regardless of what we might think about a particular individual etc.
.   ד  עֹזְבֵי תוֹרָה, יְהַלְלוּ רָשָׁע;    וְשֹׁמְרֵי תוֹרָה, יִתְגָּרוּ בָם
4 They that forsake the law praise the wicked; but such as keep the law contend with them.

ה  אַנְשֵׁי-רָע, לֹא-יָבִינוּ מִשְׁפָּט;    וּמְבַקְשֵׁי יְהוָה, יָבִינוּ כֹל.   
5 Evil men understand not justice; but they that seek the LORD understand all things.

Offline Tag-MehirTzedek

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2013, 11:00:36 AM »
Obamascumm- not at all. its a good article once you read the whole thing.

 Dr. Dan- I agree, he needs a good beating that is all. He seems like a spoiled brat. Also he first and foremost  (and only) went to secular-State courts instead of going to Beit Din to resolve the issue, BUT then uses the GET leverage against this young lady. It is a tragedy, he deserves a beating.
.   ד  עֹזְבֵי תוֹרָה, יְהַלְלוּ רָשָׁע;    וְשֹׁמְרֵי תוֹרָה, יִתְגָּרוּ בָם
4 They that forsake the law praise the wicked; but such as keep the law contend with them.

ה  אַנְשֵׁי-רָע, לֹא-יָבִינוּ מִשְׁפָּט;    וּמְבַקְשֵׁי יְהוָה, יָבִינוּ כֹל.   
5 Evil men understand not justice; but they that seek the LORD understand all things.

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2013, 02:39:18 PM »
Obamascumm- not at all. its a good article once you read the whole thing.

 Dr. Dan- I agree, he needs a good beating that is all. He seems like a spoiled brat. Also he first and foremost  (and only) went to secular-State courts instead of going to Beit Din to resolve the issue, BUT then uses the GET leverage against this young lady. It is a tragedy, he deserves a beating.

I personally know a woman who went through something like this. He is now remarried with children. She is still single. However she did eventually get the Get
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

Offline Israel Chai

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2013, 07:20:21 AM »
You're wrong Tag. Except for killing Amalek, killing a Jew who is currently with a goya is the only allowed murder. He may, if he makes a complete teshuva, have a place in a world to come but the punishment he gets is horrible. You can also make teshuva for beastiality and witchcraft. What happens is besides the point, but someone like that G-d promised he would destroy the Jewish people for it.

You seem to be right about memzers though.

The fear of the L-rd is the beginning of knowledge

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2013, 07:30:25 AM »
Is it true that he's free to move on (and technically commit adultery) but she isn't without that document?


Nope.   The NY post didn't get all the facts.

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2013, 07:33:06 AM »
The rabbis will not allow the man to date or marry without giving the get first.     And pretty much no woman would be willing to date or marry the man until he does.   Even though technically in the old days men could have multiple wives, Jewish society doesn't function that way anymore and just about any woman wouldn't be down with that.

Offline Israel Chai

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2013, 07:44:38 AM »
The rabbis will not allow the man to date or marry without giving the get first.     And pretty much no woman would be willing to date or marry the man until he does.   Even though technically in the old days men could have multiple wives, Jewish society doesn't function that way anymore and just about any woman wouldn't be down with that.

After review, if Jewish fathers are not allowed to marry their non-Jewish daughters after they convert, then that's not permitted either, since it's a rabbinical commandment for this generation. If we can get rabbis to change it, and believe me I will be the first to sign onto that, then it could be, but it's not allowed today, and you make two sins from the Torah to do that because of the rabbinical judgment.
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Offline Rubystars

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2013, 08:44:16 AM »

Nope.   The NY post didn't get all the facts.

Thank you.

Offline Tag-MehirTzedek

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2013, 09:32:20 AM »
You're wrong Tag. Except for killing Amalek, killing a Jew who is currently with a goya is the only allowed murder. He may, if he makes a complete teshuva, have a place in a world to come but the punishment he gets is horrible. You can also make teshuva for beastiality and witchcraft. What happens is besides the point, but someone like that G-d promised he would destroy the Jewish people for it.

You seem to be right about memzers though.


 I didn't nor did anyone mention killing anywhere in this thread.
 - When it wa ssaid if he can have another women to marry it was assumed (and no hint of otherwise) would be that she is a Jewish women.
 - You and almost no one would be allowed to kill a Jew who is with a goya. It was only for real zealots of Hashem (like Pinhas) and only at the exact time they are together a second later is considered murder. And my last point is in the Talmudh, they say if your not a zealot of Hashem then its murder (and a zealot means a real zealot which means that you are makbit on every single Misswah and refrain from Averot and not some stam guy).  + take into account Dina DeMalchut Dina- (if your in America for example where its against the law).
 - Dont know what you said and meant from afterwards, but last statement-  G-D promised He will never destroy all of Am Yisrael, EVER.
.   ד  עֹזְבֵי תוֹרָה, יְהַלְלוּ רָשָׁע;    וְשֹׁמְרֵי תוֹרָה, יִתְגָּרוּ בָם
4 They that forsake the law praise the wicked; but such as keep the law contend with them.

ה  אַנְשֵׁי-רָע, לֹא-יָבִינוּ מִשְׁפָּט;    וּמְבַקְשֵׁי יְהוָה, יָבִינוּ כֹל.   
5 Evil men understand not justice; but they that seek the LORD understand all things.

Offline Tag-MehirTzedek

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #15 on: November 06, 2013, 09:40:39 AM »
After review, if Jewish fathers are not allowed to marry their non-Jewish daughters after they convert, then that's not permitted either, since it's a rabbinical commandment for this generation. If we can get rabbis to change it, and believe me I will be the first to sign onto that, then it could be, but it's not allowed today, and you make two sins from the Torah to do that because of the rabbinical judgment.


 different cases. First off the legal fact that a Jewish father who fathered a non-Jewish daughter (through a non-Jewish mother) is forbidden by Rabbinic law. It was always forbidden, and its forbidden and not subject to change, ever.
 The whole point of stating that was only to teach a Jewish man not to have children with a non-Jewish mother because technically the offspring are not "his children in the eyes of G-D". That doesn't and never did all him to then be with them since they aren't his children. Its more of a moral lesson.
 
  - Their is no and was no real Rabbinic enactment with the power to prevent a man from marrying more than 1 wife.  Some claim Rabbeinu Gershom but only up to 1,000 years. Guess what, it passed.
Thus your claim that the children would be "mamzerim" is false. 
 
  Soo the 2 sins, what would they exactly be?
.   ד  עֹזְבֵי תוֹרָה, יְהַלְלוּ רָשָׁע;    וְשֹׁמְרֵי תוֹרָה, יִתְגָּרוּ בָם
4 They that forsake the law praise the wicked; but such as keep the law contend with them.

ה  אַנְשֵׁי-רָע, לֹא-יָבִינוּ מִשְׁפָּט;    וּמְבַקְשֵׁי יְהוָה, יָבִינוּ כֹל.   
5 Evil men understand not justice; but they that seek the LORD understand all things.

Offline Binyamin Yisrael

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2013, 02:31:40 PM »
Murder is NEVER allowed. Killing Amalek is not murder. The Ten Commandments say "Do Not Murder", not "Do Not Kill". Even Secular Law differentiates between murder and justifiable homicide. Legal killing under Halacha is justifiable homicide.


Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2013, 02:44:41 PM »
Can she sue him?

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Orthodox woman’s plea for divorce
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2013, 05:40:34 AM »
Can she sue him?

She already took him to civil court..those only deal with civil divorce. And you need permission from a beit din to utilize nonJewish courts first.