Author Topic: Advice please....  (Read 647 times)

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Offline drlmg

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Advice please....
« on: November 22, 2013, 09:02:46 PM »
I am asking for your honest opinion....

background.... I am in my 40's, married to a wonderful woman that I love like a sister and not a wife, no children, a Christian, male..... my income is about top 3 - 5%, I have pretty much anything I could ever want (clarification... note -  anything I could ever want, I am by no means saying anything that anyone else could ever want, I am not extremely wealthy - however I do have much more than I need).

The problem is almost NOTHING gives me happiness other than my dogs and the raccoons that hang around my house that I feed nightly. I am not necessarily UN happy, just here, that is all. I cannot think of any possession that I could buy that would get me excited and enthused. I suffer from a couple of psychiatric conditions supposedly but personally I don't have a problem with them, it is others that complain and seem to suffer (one being Tourette's syndrome).

I feel I am being called to do medical missions (I am an oral surgeon), I do get great joy from doing things for others. I wonder if I am conjuring up this idea as an attempt to make myself happy? How do I know? Should I give it a try and see what happens? I am not the best example of what a Christian should be, I worry if I would be tarnishing the image of virtuous people who are serving others. Interestingly, people think my life and marriage is all good... I am very good at what I do and well respected by my peers. I can maintain this image under even the worst of circumstances, I think I am able to do this because of the self discipline I have had to build in order to keep from acting stupid from the Tourette's.

Should I try to straighten out my personal life first? I feel I may be running away from my problems by re-focusing and doing something respectable.

Main question / thought.... Do any of you think that maybe I am not happy because I am not doing what I should be doing.... medical mission work, rather than trying to use it to fix my unhappiness?

Offline Lisa

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Re: Advice please....
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2013, 09:16:41 PM »
Drlmg,

Are you talking to anyone?  Perhaps a minister/pastor?  Or a psychotherapist?  Have you seen a doctor to manage your Tourrettes? 

Offline Aces High

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Re: Advice please....
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2013, 12:36:10 AM »
Lift some weights, take a hot shower,  and go out for a good meal with your wife or even by yourself.  The exercise and some good food will help clear your mind. 

Offline Zelhar

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Re: Advice please....
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2013, 05:37:49 AM »
If you can take some time off, help others and make yourself feel good by that, it sounds like a win-win.

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: Advice please....
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2013, 05:53:25 AM »
You need a vacation.
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

Offline drlmg

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Re: Advice please....
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2013, 08:34:02 AM »
Thank you for responses....

I have been seeing a great psychiatrist for 2 years now but have seen others off and on since my early 20's. I am on a few medications that work well. I become somewhat of a lunatic without it.

The only vacation I have taken in the last 10 years was time for required CE courses and a few other specialty courses, I get very agitated if I am not working. I dread holidays and weekends because it takes away my stability which is work. My wife has gone on some elaborate month long trips (China / Tibet / Hong Kong, Greece / Cyprus, France / Italy, etc.) but I stay home and work by choice. I feel it is my responsibility.

I am going to talk to my pastor and go on with the mission work. I am beginning to think the chaos in my life is because I am not doing what God has planned for me, which I think is medical missions. I completed an application with an international relief organization that organizes dozens of trips every year. I plan on doing a few 1-2 week trips at first and see where it leads.

Offline muman613

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Re: Advice please....
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2013, 09:26:09 PM »
May Hashem assist you in finding your mission... I think we all are seeking confirmation that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.

It is a lesson which is taught by the Torah portion we just read this last Shabbat, the story of Joseph the Righteous, and his struggles in life finding out that his destiny was to save the entire Jewish nation, and by definition save the entire world.

Life leads us on a curvy path and it is often easy to be side-tracked and even feel like life is a dead end. Only through our faith can we keep alive the realization that our life is a mission, and to accomplish it we must look for signs as to what that mission is. Joseph had dreams of greatness, he had visions of his saving the world, and in the end the circumstances (which at the time seemed horrible) ended up leading him to the place of his dreams.

So please continue seeking your destiny, I believe with help you will accomplish it.

You shall make yourself the Festival of Sukkoth for seven days, when you gather in [the produce] from your threshing floor and your vat.And you shall rejoice in your Festival-you, and your son, and your daughter, and your manservant, and your maidservant, and the Levite, and the stranger, and the orphan, and the widow, who are within your cities
Duet 16:13-14

Offline The Noachide

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Re: Advice please....
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2013, 09:48:42 PM »
You guys and gals are wrong, shame on you people. He's missing Christian metal in his life.