Why do people think sex outside of marriage is acceptable?

[Zelhar]

To me it makes more sense to first try out as many aspects of being married  (parenthood is major exception) before actually entering into that huge commitment.

If somebody has never had sex before except for the person that they marry, then they have no basis of comparison. They should decide, based on compatibility with that person in other ways, whether or not they want to spend their life with that person. Then the two of them can learn how to please each other physically after marriage.

[Rubystars]

To me it makes more sense to first try out as many aspects of being married  (parenthood is major exception) before actually entering into that huge commitment.

So basically you're saying that you know it's wrong according to the Bible, but you're going to plan do it anyway and then repent of it. Don't you think a repentance has to be sincere and heartfelt? If you think there's nothing really wrong with it, then true repentance is impossible, and also if you think that, it means that you are wiser than God as far as what is right and wrong.

You say sex outside of marriage is ok but parenthood is not. You can't guarantee that you won't get a woman pregnant if you have sex with her. All methods of birth control have a failure rate, even if you layer them. A condom could break and you might think you're still ok because the woman is on birth control, but birth control also has a failure rate.

As for living in the modern times making it more difficult, that just means you're probably too enmeshed into the world and its culture rather than looking to God for guidance and what He would have you do.

[Zelhar]

I don't believe it is wrong to have sex just for the fun of it either. And in the case of serious couples who think about marriage, for some of them, it is better to try things out in advance. It's not part of my moral believes.

So basically you're saying that you know it's wrong according to the Bible, but you're going to plan do it anyway and then repent of it. Don't you think a repentance has to be sincere and heartfelt? If you think there's nothing really wrong with it, then true repentance is impossible, and also if you think that, it means that you are wiser than God as far as what is right and wrong.

You say sex outside of marriage is ok but parenthood is not. You can't guarantee that you won't get a woman pregnant if you have sex with her. All methods of birth control have a failure rate, even if you layer them. A condom could break and you might think you're still ok because the woman is on birth control, but birth control also has a failure rate.

As for living in the modern times making it more difficult, that just means you're probably too enmeshed into the world and its culture rather than looking to God for guidance and what He would have you do.

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

To me it makes more sense to first try out as many aspects of being married  (parenthood is major exception) before actually entering into that huge commitment.

Why can't a dating couple have frank sexual discussions about their future together?

[Dr. Dan]

I don't believe it is wrong to have sex just for the fun of it either. And in the case of serious couples who think about marriage, for some of them, it is better to try things out in advance. It's not part of my moral believes.

And if you are in love but the sex isn't good you break up?!  Is that logical? 

[AsheDina]

Do you mean, it's not ok for an unmarried person to have sex?

Let me ask you this, most people wouldn't buy a car before they take it to a test ride, how then can you expect them to marry someone without a 'test run'?

So...Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

[AsheDina]

Ruby:

  If your sister was raised that sex before marriage is wrong, then she is going against her conscience and also the beliefs of your family--she is hurting her own soul.

Making love (sex) should be preserved for a man and a woman who intend to spend the rest of their lives together, married.  They should wait for the wedding day.

Thats the right way.

[Mishmaat]

I know some of you believe that sex outside of marriage is technically ok for Gentiles but Christians believe it's wrong for us and Jews believe it's wrong for Jews to have sex outside of marriage. And yet people seem to completely ignore this and do it anyway.

I'm very upset with one of my family members who has told me that she wants to continue to have sex outside of marriage even though she has no intention of marrying anybody.

I feel like God will judge her for this.

Why do so many people who say they believe in the moral rules of the Bible violate this very simple rule?

They want to justify their lack of impulse control.

[serbian army]

R.S is correct. In Orthodox Christianity sex outside of marriage is forbidden. Also, if you do not go church for 3 weeks and you are not sick or something you are automatically excluded from the church. This is how strict rules are. But, like SuperMantila said, very few people play by the rules (including me). We can see the results..broken families, depression, suicides..

I will tell you this..in real life people I know broke the rule..he was a priest..bad, very bad thing happened, the worse possible..

[Rubystars]

Ruby:

  If your sister was raised that sex before marriage is wrong, then she is going against her conscience and also the beliefs of your family--she is hurting her own soul.

Making love (sex) should be preserved for a man and a woman who intend to spend the rest of their lives together, married.  They should wait for the wedding day.

Thats the right way.

Agreed.

I also don't think God would ask people to do something impossible.

One thing I don't understand about the "test drive" argument is that all men have the same parts as other men and all women have the same parts as other women unless there was some kind of surgery or injury. Even if they vary a little by size or shape they're basically the same. It's how those parts are used that determine "good" or "bad" sex and so I would think that as a married couple they would learn what the other person liked and didn't like and learn how to please each other.

[Rubystars]

R.S is correct. In Orthodox Christianity sex outside of marriage is forbidden. Also, if you do not go church for 3 weeks and you are not sick or something you are automatically excluded from the church. This is how strict rules are. But, like SuperMantila said, very few people play by the rules (including me). We can see the results..broken families, depression, suicides..

I will tell you this..in real life people I know broke the rule..he was a priest..bad, very bad thing happened, the worse possible..

I don't believe that everyone has to go to church but I do think that it's a good thing if someone does have a church family they are a good fit for because fellowship is important.

Sex outside of marriage does have a lot of bad consequences for society though. Children growing up without fathers, abortion, STDs, and adultery are all examples of what can happen due to sex outside the context of marriage. Someone you meet at a bar for example can tell you they are single when they are really married. If you go and have sex with that person you are harming that person's wife or husband.

Also a lot of the more extreme things are also technically examples of sex outside of the context of marriage between an adult man and adult woman: homosexual activity, pedophilia, zoophilia, etc. Basically any deviant sexual activity is outside of the context of marriage between a man and a woman.

I think that engaging in homosexual activity is not any worse spiritually than having sex with someone of the opposite sex outside the context of marriage and that the penalty would be the same.

[Binyamin Yisrael]

I think that engaging in homosexual activity is not any worse spiritually than having sex with someone of the opposite sex outside the context of marriage and that the penalty would be the same.

Are you serious? Homosexual activity is a capital crime while having sex outside of marriage is not, as long as the woman is single.

The Torah calls homosexual activity an abomination. It does not use that term for other forbidden sexual relations. Adultery and incest are considered natural sexual relations but with a forbidden partner. Homosexuality is completely unnatural and abhorrent. See Leviticus 18 and compare how it is described compared with the forbidden sexual relations that come before it. Bestiality is just like homosexuality in that it is unnatural and not normal behavior.

[Zelhar]

It's not a bad idea at all. Of course that can never work with the ultra-orthodox. Some of them don't even get the basic lesson about the birds and the bees until wedding evening. It's not unheard of for the groom or the bride to pass out when they are told how matrimonial duty involves.

Why can't a dating couple have frank sexual discussions about their future together?

[Zelhar]

Actually I mentioned before, I don't think it is a reason enough to break up. My reasoning is more in the line of the other way- that desire to have sex should not be a reason enough to get married, and so it is better to have sex before marriage then enter into marriage prematurely and then regret.

And if you are in love but the sex isn't good you break up?!  Is that logical?

[Yehudayaakov]

because for them marriage is a weight they use to meet people to do all they want.

[Rubystars]

Are you serious? Homosexual activity is a capital crime while having sex outside of marriage is not, as long as the woman is single.

The Torah calls homosexual activity an abomination. It does not use that term for other forbidden sexual relations. Adultery and incest are considered natural sexual relations but with a forbidden partner. Homosexuality is completely unnatural and abhorrent. See Leviticus 18 and compare how it is described compared with the forbidden sexual relations that come before it. Bestiality is just like homosexuality in that it is unnatural and not normal behavior.

I believe both are sin, and a very specific kind of sin: sexual sin.

I also believe the wages of sin is death (eternal  suffering in hell) unless something is done to remove that sin.

Of course it is more disgusting to engage in homosexual activity but either way it's a sexual sin.

That was a good point you made about the fact that one is a more serious sin than the other though and probably will bring even greater punishment.

[Rubystars]

It's not a bad idea at all. Of course that can never work with the ultra-orthodox. Some of them don't even get the basic lesson about the birds and the bees until wedding evening. It's not unheard of for the groom or the bride to pass out when they are told how matrimonial duty involves.

Not to be disrespectful to their culture but I think that since they are going to have the urges before then usually, they should know what they are so they can resist them better.