sure enough, my rabbi talked abou homosexuality and Brittany Spears

[Dr. Dan]

danny your Sefardi I highly recomend you going to a Sefardi shul- I love the way we pray together and the tunes, etc. In my shul the Rabbi didnt make any sermens- their was prayer the whole time and had only 2 hours break between Shaharit and Minha. -The Rabbi did translate some parts of the confessions of sins that we make and also told people that he wishes that the shul in packed everyday like it was on Yom Kippur, he said please come in on Shabb-h and those who regularly come on Shabb-h to come in everyday.

the sephardi shuls are ok..i'm just not used to them.

the other thing is that I happen to like sermons...considering that i don't understand the Hebrew which i love reading in the chumash nevertheless, there is something more than just silent prayer and ruakh that I need especially on Yom Kippur...a good cleansing with nice ideas on how we, fellow Jews, and Israel were the previous year and how we should be the following year...and relate it to Yom Kippur or the Torah portion or the haftorah portion...

[judeanoncapta]

And since I'm a little bit both "observant" and "secular" and prefer this mode, can anyone in my boat suggest a temple that is not so liberal and with good conservative/Torah Jewish values in the northern NJ area? 

There's no such thing.  Just go to an Orthodox Shul.  You will not find Torah values anywhere else.

I guess i'm going ot have to stick with the "conservative" temples....I refuse to go anywhere that I can't sit with my mother or sister-in-laws or other women...It's fine if other's rather go to synogogues that separate the two..i prefer not to...

Men and women were seperated in the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.

Why should our little "Temples" be any different?

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

danny your Sefardi I highly recomend you going to a Sefardi shul- I love the way we pray together and the tunes, etc. In my shul the Rabbi didnt make any sermens- their was prayer the whole time and had only 2 hours break between Shaharit and Minha. -The Rabbi did translate some parts of the confessions of sins that we make and also told people that he wishes that the shul in packed everyday like it was on Yom Kippur, he said please come in on Shabb-h and those who regularly come on Shabb-h to come in everyday.

the sephardi shuls are ok..i'm just not used to them.

the other thing is that I happen to like sermons...considering that i don't understand the Hebrew which i love reading in the chumash nevertheless, there is something more than just silent prayer and ruakh that I need especially on Yom Kippur...a good cleansing with nice ideas on how we, fellow Jews, and Israel were the previous year and how we should be the following year...and relate it to Yom Kippur or the Torah portion or the haftorah portion...

Their is usually lessons on all the other days and holidays, their isnt (wasnt) on Yom Kippur becuase their just isnt time, people including the Rabbi needed a little break (only 2 hours) so then we can continue with all of the prayers and finish on time. (by the time we finished the fast was really like 26 hours- becuase of Aravit and Havdala also).

[aC23]

Sad that a "Rabbi" talks about Britney Spears on the holiest day of the year

[Dr. Dan]

And since I'm a little bit both "observant" and "secular" and prefer this mode, can anyone in my boat suggest a temple that is not so liberal and with good conservative/Torah Jewish values in the northern NJ area? 

There's no such thing.  Just go to an Orthodox Shul.  You will not find Torah values anywhere else.

I guess i'm going ot have to stick with the "conservative" temples....I refuse to go anywhere that I can't sit with my mother or sister-in-laws or other women...It's fine if other's rather go to synogogues that separate the two..i prefer not to...

Men and women were seperated in the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.

Why should our little "Temples" be any different?

They shouldn't be...go according to your tradition..If every synogogue ends up separating the two, then fine..not a big deal..

[Dr. Dan]

Sad that a "Rabbi" talks about Britney Spears on the holiest day of the year

my point on that sermon was that Spears was nothing more than a prop to the whole point of the sermon, which, bt the way, was pretty good.

[Dr. Dan]

I guess i'm going ot have to stick with the "conservative" temples....I refuse to go anywhere that I can't sit with my mother or sister-in-laws or other women...It's fine if other's rather go to synogogues that separate the two..i prefer not to...

the Sefaradi shuls are ok..i'm just not used to them.

the other thing is that I happen to like sermons...considering that i don't understand the Hebrew which i love reading in the chumash nevertheless, there is something more than just silent prayer and ruakh that I need especially on Yom Kippur...a good cleansing with nice ideas on how we, fellow Jews, and Israel were the previous year and how we should be the following year...and relate it to Yom Kippur or the Torah portion or the haftorah portion...

Danny, you say you like a good cleansing for Yom Kippur. And how do you expect to have this kawanna when you are praying in front of women, right next to women? It's a conservative synagogue, so I doubt they are dressing modestly. You're standing in front of the King of Kings; do you want that kind of distraction?

There are synagogues with low, hip-height dividers or use raised platforms for women (I beg people not to get into a halachic discussion about this). The former is the type that I go to (Sefardic, which I prefer ESPECIALLY for Yom Kippur). I like it; it's fine. I also prefer my congregation, to be among familiar friends and family. So I suggest you find a new synagogue and eventually you'll start to be welcomed and you'll make friends with some folks by the time the next YK comes around. (Hopefully, by then, we will do it in Jerusalem at the Beth Hamiqdash. By the way, there is seperate seating there.)

For your needs, just try not to find a black-hat one, not that there is anything wrong with black-hats.

Call me gay if you want, but things like that don't distract me, especially if it were my mother. She, by the way, dresses modestly.  Actually being separate from the women distracts me more because I want to see what's behind that current or in that divider..but that's me...

I will look into it for next year...I do need to talk to my parents and see what happens.

[Dr. Dan]

Danny your Sfaradi I highly recommend you going to a Sfardic shul- I love the way we pray together and the tunes, etc. In my shul the Rabbi didn't make any sermons- their was prayer the whole time and had only 2 hours break between Shaharit and Minha. -The Rabbi did translate some parts of the confessions of sins that we make and also told people that he wishes that the shul in packed everyday like it was on Yom Kippur, he said please come in on Shabbat and those who regularly come on Shabbat to come in everyday.

the Sephardi shuls are ok..I'm just not used to them.

the other thing is that I happen to like sermons...considering that i don't understand the Hebrew which i love reading in the chumash nevertheless, there is something more than just silent prayer and ruakh that I need especially on Yom Kippur...a good cleansing with nice ideas on how we, fellow Jews, and Israel were the previous year and how we should be the following year...and relate it to Yom Kippur or the Torah portion or the Haftarah portion...

Sfardic synagogues are Orthodox. They don't have silent prayers other than the silent Amidah. They do everything out loud. Ashkenazim do speed reading and only say the first and last sentences out loud in some cases.

Even when I used to go to a Conservative synagogue, I never went on Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur because they had a choir which seemed like a church to me. And they stretch everything out. They even stretched everything out on regular Shabbats during the Musaf. I went to Chabad yesterday and they started an hour and a half later than the regular Ashkenazic Orthodox synagogue across the street and finished about the same time. They also started Mincha earlier and finished around the same time. Chabad is more like Sfaradim in that respect in that they just read without stretching things out.

I didn't want to go to the Sfardic minyan because it is too far to walk. I used to walk there on Yom Kippur. It used to be in The Jewish Community Center across the street from the beginning of my street. It used to be in a rabbi's house on Shabbat and they never had a minyan so they stopped having it and only had it on The High Holidays. There were Moroccan big shots that wanted to be in charge on The High Holidays but they didn't ever come to the rabbi's house. Now that the rabbi doesn't do it anymore, they made their own minyan as part of an Ashkenazic synagogue on the lower level and they made it successful and have it every Shabbat but I never go because it's too far to walk. That's how Jews are. Everyone thinks they are better and want to be in charge.

you know, I'm brainstorming for now to go to a "conservadox" type temple that is going in the direction trying to become more religious

[Dexter]

From now one, call it
"Beit Knesset", that's how every Jew should call it .

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Danny your Sfaradi I highly recommend you going to a Sfardic shul- I love the way we pray together and the tunes, etc. In my shul the Rabbi didn't make any sermons- their was prayer the whole time and had only 2 hours break between Shaharit and Minha. -The Rabbi did translate some parts of the confessions of sins that we make and also told people that he wishes that the shul in packed everyday like it was on Yom Kippur, he said please come in on Shabbat and those who regularly come on Shabbat to come in everyday.

the Sephardi shuls are ok..I'm just not used to them.

the other thing is that I happen to like sermons...considering that i don't understand the Hebrew which i love reading in the chumash nevertheless, there is something more than just silent prayer and ruakh that I need especially on Yom Kippur...a good cleansing with nice ideas on how we, fellow Jews, and Israel were the previous year and how we should be the following year...and relate it to Yom Kippur or the Torah portion or the Haftarah portion...

 Chabad is more like Sfaradim in that respect in that they just read without stretching things out.

not sure about all Sefardim- but in my Shul and in Bukharian shuls I have been to they do stretch things out, I though it was the opposite becuase in the building of my shul their are Askenazim (younge Israel Orthodox) who last night and allways finish much quicker then our Minyan downstairs- Bukharians. I have also visited Orthodox Askenazi shuls and the prayers more individually oriented. Also once I was in a deform/conservative service and it was retarted, I was away and it said minya, I didnt expect going to a minyan that resembles more of a german church. Thier was a girl their also who said she had her bat (or bar) mitzva reading, I started to laugh, I was like to her but your a girl- she got offended (I dont care).
 -No offense to Askenazim, but I love going to Bukharian and genarally Sefardi shuls/minyans - theirs soo much energy and you feel togetherness, but for me in Askenazi shuls it feels somewhat isolationist.

[Dr. Dan]

to each their own...i'ld be careful laughing at a girl who said she got bat-mitzvad....you do no favors in the name of Torah and Gd when you laugh at Jews who are not as observant as you or who are differently observant than you...

[Dr. Dan]

How can you get "Bar Mitzvad"? You become a Bar Mitzvah (Meaning Son of The Commandments.) or you have a Bar Mitzvah (The event.). You become a Bar Mitzvah whether or not you had one just by turning 13 and a woman becomes a Bat Mitzvah by turning 12.

just don't laugh at girls who say they were bat mitzva-ed....  you might earn a reputation as an idiot and then never get married...Gd forbid

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

to each their own...i'ld be careful laughing at a girl who said she got bat-mitzvad....you do no favors in the name of Torah and Gd when you laugh at Jews who are not as observant as you or who are differently observant than you...

I wasnt that religious, but honestly I laughed (more like smirked) when I heard that, becuase lets get one thing straight - its one thing if someone is not fully observent - lets face it everyone has his/her flaws and mistakes, bt its another when someone or some group tries to jutify it and make a whole movement and set of ideas that make it officially okay to do the wronge thing, look at that gay "rabbi", the movement didnt start that way, it started with canceling one commandment and then it got worse and worse. - My point is -even if you, me and all of us arent living our lives to the highest standard we should at least recognize the truth and work towards it without turning to those clowns.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

How can you get "Bar Mitzvad"? You become a Bar Mitzvah (Meaning Son of The Commandments.) or you have a Bar Mitzvah (The event.). You become a Bar Mitzvah whether or not you had one just by turning 13 and a woman becomes a Bat Mitzvah by turning 12.

just don't laugh at girls who say they were bat mitzva-ed....  you might earn a reputation as an idiot and then never get married...Gd forbid

I would never want to marry that type of girl. The girl I would want to marry would be one who'm would influence me to be more religious. Anyway I would most probably marry someone in the Bukharian community, and even completly non-religious Jews in my community know not to go to a deform "rabbi", if their is something like a death or a brit they only call the Orthodox Rabbi's. (allthough this might be changing with marriage,)

[Dr. Dan]

to each their own...i'ld be careful laughing at a girl who said she got bat-mitzvad....you do no favors in the name of Torah and Gd when you laugh at Jews who are not as observant as you or who are differently observant than you...

I wasnt that religious, but honestly I laughed (more like smirked) when I heard that, becuase lets get one thing straight - its one thing if someone is not fully observent - lets face it everyone has his/her flaws and mistakes, bt its another when someone or some group tries to jutify it and make a whole movement and set of ideas that make it officially okay to do the wronge thing, look at that gay "rabbi", the movement didnt start that way, it started with canceling one commandment and then it got worse and worse. - My point is -even if you, me and all of us arent living our lives to the highest standard we should at least recognize the truth and work towards it without turning to those clowns.

A woman who wants to make a man's mitzva (except for circumcision ) is not sinning.  But a man who ADMITS of making a grave sin against Gd and furthermore cannot be fruitful and multiply even if all else is good is not good..  

Likewise, I have no respect for rabbis who are admittedly non shomer shabbat or non shomer kashrut....

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

danny to tell you the truth, this is the first time I heard of a Sefardic Jew go to a deform/conservative shul. (their might have been others but this is the first time I heard of such a case, - the rabbi wasnt Sefardic I know thats for sure.)

[Dr. Dan]

How can you get "Bar Mitzvad"? You become a Bar Mitzvah (Meaning Son of The Commandments.) or you have a Bar Mitzvah (The event.). You become a Bar Mitzvah whether or not you had one just by turning 13 and a woman becomes a Bat Mitzvah by turning 12.

just don't laugh at girls who say they were bat mitzva-ed....  you might earn a reputation as an idiot and then never get married...Gd forbid

I would never want to marry that type of girl. The girl I would want to marry would be one who'm would influence me to be more religious. Anyway I would most probably marry someone in the Bukharian community, and even completly non-religious Jews in my community know not to go to a deform "rabbi", if their is something like a death or a brit they only call the Orthodox Rabbi's. (allthough this might be changing with marriage,)

I just don't think any decent humble gentle woman will want to observe a Jewish observant laugh at another girl who attempts to make a mitzva like let's say for kicks, wear T'fillin and talit, even though she doesn't have to wear one....the point is, she isn't forbidden to wear those things either as she isn't forbidden to become bat mitzva-ed.

[Dr. Dan]

danny to tell you the truth, this is the first time I heard of a Sefardic Jew go to a deform/conservative shul. (their might have been others but this is the first time I heard of such a case, - the rabbi wasnt Sefardic I know thats for sure.)

oh of course not...he's ashkenaz...no sephardic rabbi would screw around like that...

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

How can you get "Bar Mitzvad"? You become a Bar Mitzvah (Meaning Son of The Commandments.) or you have a Bar Mitzvah (The event.). You become a Bar Mitzvah whether or not you had one just by turning 13 and a woman becomes a Bat Mitzvah by turning 12.

just don't laugh at girls who say they were bat mitzva-ed....  you might earn a reputation as an idiot and then never get married...Gd forbid

I would never want to marry that type of girl. The girl I would want to marry would be one who'm would influence me to be more religious. Anyway I would most probably marry someone in the Bukharian community, and even completly non-religious Jews in my community know not to go to a deform "rabbi", if their is something like a death or a brit they only call the Orthodox Rabbi's. (allthough this might be changing with marriage,)

I just don't think any decent humble gentle woman will want to observe a Jewish observant laugh at another girl who attempts to make a mitzva like let's say for kicks, wear T'fillin and talit, even though she doesn't have to wear one....the point is, she isn't forbidden to wear those things either as she isn't forbidden to become bat mitzva-ed.

1- I wasnt observent when it happened. 2- she just said he had one, and it was strange hearing that because I didnt really know and think about Jews being like that, 3- I didnt even think of her wearing Tefillin and Tallit (which is even more laughable), but she said she went to read the Torah publically, and YES it is forbidden for a female to do these things. Their are soo many prohibitions involved- to name a few- saying a Bracha Levatala- Saying G-d's name in vain when making the blessing, a women wearing mans clothing, her reading the Torah outloud in front of men, etc.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

How can you get "Bar Mitzvad"? You become a Bar Mitzvah (Meaning Son of The Commandments.) or you have a Bar Mitzvah (The event.). You become a Bar Mitzvah whether or not you had one just by turning 13 and a woman becomes a Bat Mitzvah by turning 12.

just don't laugh at girls who say they were bat mitzva-ed....  you might earn a reputation as an idiot and then never get married...Gd forbid

I would never want to marry that type of girl. The girl I would want to marry would be one who'm would influence me to be more religious. Anyway I would most probably marry someone in the Bukharian community, and even completly non-religious Jews in my community know not to go to a deform "rabbi", if their is something like a death or a brit they only call the Orthodox Rabbi's. (allthough this might be changing with marriage,)

I just don't think any decent humble gentle woman will want to observe a Jewish observant laugh at another girl who attempts to make a mitzva like let's say for kicks, wear T'fillin and talit, even though she doesn't have to wear one....the point is, she isn't forbidden to wear those things either as she isn't forbidden to become bat mitzva-ed.

If a woman wears t'fillin 3 times, then she is required too.

Nop, I know where you got that idea from, but its wronge, that applies to cases such as if someone put it on himself to kept Shabb-h according to Rabbenu Tam (which is longer), if he did it 3 times he has to keep it that way, unless he goes to Rabbis and they instruct what to do. And other situations,
 In this situation it was wronge to begin with and every time she does it its a sin(s).

[Dr. Dan]

How can you get "Bar Mitzvad"? You become a Bar Mitzvah (Meaning Son of The Commandments.) or you have a Bar Mitzvah (The event.). You become a Bar Mitzvah whether or not you had one just by turning 13 and a woman becomes a Bat Mitzvah by turning 12.

just don't laugh at girls who say they were bat mitzva-ed....  you might earn a reputation as an idiot and then never get married...Gd forbid

I would never want to marry that type of girl. The girl I would want to marry would be one who'm would influence me to be more religious. Anyway I would most probably marry someone in the Bukharian community, and even completly non-religious Jews in my community know not to go to a deform "rabbi", if their is something like a death or a brit they only call the Orthodox Rabbi's. (allthough this might be changing with marriage,)

I just don't think any decent humble gentle woman will want to observe a Jewish observant laugh at another girl who attempts to make a mitzva like let's say for kicks, wear T'fillin and talit, even though she doesn't have to wear one....the point is, she isn't forbidden to wear those things either as she isn't forbidden to become bat mitzva-ed.

If a woman wears t'fillin 3 times, then she is required too. So why should she take on an obligation which she is not required to do? Besides, it's like cross dressing.

Isn't it so gay when you see them with their pink talit that looks like a blanket?

a lot of women do these things for the wrong reasons, I'll give you that...but some still feel it in their heart to do these things to feel better and more complete...i think in that situation it's a beautiful thing.

[Dr. Dan]

How can you get "Bar Mitzvad"? You become a Bar Mitzvah (Meaning Son of The Commandments.) or you have a Bar Mitzvah (The event.). You become a Bar Mitzvah whether or not you had one just by turning 13 and a woman becomes a Bat Mitzvah by turning 12.

just don't laugh at girls who say they were bat mitzva-ed....  you might earn a reputation as an idiot and then never get married...Gd forbid

I would never want to marry that type of girl. The girl I would want to marry would be one who'm would influence me to be more religious. Anyway I would most probably marry someone in the Bukharian community, and even completly non-religious Jews in my community know not to go to a deform "rabbi", if their is something like a death or a brit they only call the Orthodox Rabbi's. (allthough this might be changing with marriage,)

I just don't think any decent humble gentle woman will want to observe a Jewish observant laugh at another girl who attempts to make a mitzva like let's say for kicks, wear T'fillin and talit, even though she doesn't have to wear one....the point is, she isn't forbidden to wear those things either as she isn't forbidden to become bat mitzva-ed.

1- I wasnt observent when it happened. 2- she just said he had one, and it was strange hearing that because I didnt really know and think about Jews being like that, 3- I didnt even think of her wearing Tefillin and Tallit (which is even more laughable), but she said she went to read the Torah publically, and YES it is forbidden for a female to do these things. Their are soo many prohibitions involved- to name a few- saying a Bracha Levatala- Saying G-d's name in vain when making the blessing, a women wearing mans clothing, her reading the Torah outloud in front of men, etc.

it's not illegal, it's a fence...I am set against signs in certain synogogues forbidding women to pray outloud...

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

a rapist would feel more complete by raping a hoot blonde girl, does it make it okay? after all he wants to be made complete and satisfied.

[Dr. Dan]

a rapist would feel more complete by raping a hoot blonde girl, does it make it okay? after all he wants to be made complete and satisfied.

raping is completely different than wearing t'fillin...come on...just admit that in your tradition, women do not need to do those things...but say oh well with my tradition...

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

why do you keep saying fence? its not a fence, Im sorry but I think you should only get involved with an orthodox Rabbi and group and leave the deformed type of mindset. If you want to get religioud at least talk to a real Rabbi and ask to be taught and aided a step at a time, its a lot more dangerous to be involved in the deform movement. ( thank G-d in Israel their isnt this drek).