Should male-female interdancing be banned?

[Erica]

You shouldn't even dance with your wife in public. You can only kiss or hug your wife in private.

What? That's wild! But wait, if you can't dance with your wife in public (you do know public could mean a public function) why bring her out? If you can't kiss or hug her in public, what's the point of them being married?

That's one of the best parts of being married, on our end. I get to hold my husband's hand, hug him, and kiss him in public..I'm not embarrassed to show how much I love him to others. (NOTHING OTHER THAN THAT THOUGH... a couple's sexual intimacy (sex, in general) should be done behind their closed doors. That should be no one else's business.

[Daniel]

You shouldn't even dance with your wife in public. You can only kiss or hug your wife in private.

What? That's wild! But wait, if you can't dance with your wife in public (you do know public could mean a public function) why bring her out? If you can't kiss or hug her in public, what's the point of them being married?

That's one of the best parts of being married, on our end. I get to hold my husband's hand, hug him, and kiss him in public..I'm not embarrassed to show how much I love him to others. (NOTHING OTHER THAN THAT THOUGH... a couple's sexual intimacy (sex, in general) should be done behind their closed doors. That should be no one else's business.

Erica, you need to understand the concept of "shomer negia" which means careful touching. Religious Jews believe that it is wrong and inappropriate to even shake hands with someone of the opposite gender. I was in an organization where the staff were religious and shomer negia. Whenever everyone danced, the guys and the ladies needed to dance in separate circles. Whenever we put our arms around each other to sway back and forth to the songs, we needed to do so separately. At one shabbaton, my friend naively put his arm around one of the female staff members while we were swaying to a song. At the point, the lady turned around and said, "Uhhmm, there's a problem here." My friend and I were both confused and we then had this concept explained to us and about how everyone in the organization practiced this. I was surprised and befuddled about this. At that point, I recognized that the guys and girls always danced and swayed separately from each other, but never understood why. When this situation happened, I finally understood what was going on. I later learned more about the concept and the rationale behind it. There is a belief that even if you touch someone of the opposite sex, it has the potential of creating an uncontrollable urge which can eventually lead to having sex with the person. So the rules of touching are very strictly enforced by those who observe this. In this organization (called JPSY - Jewish Public School Youth), they staff had an ongoing gag where a guy and girl would scream out, "Kosher high five!", they would go to move their hands towards in other in the movement of making a high five, but then deliberately miss each others' hands.

So this concept being expressed here isn't some crazy idea thought up of Yacov or anyone else on here. It's a common practice of religious Jews. I don't personally agree or subscribe to this. But I do understand it and respect it, just as long as others don't try to impose this belief on me.

[kellymaureen]

No banning 'so you think you can dance'.....leave me ONE guilty pleasure

[Erica]

You shouldn't even dance with your wife in public. You can only kiss or hug your wife in private.

What? That's wild! But wait, if you can't dance with your wife in public (you do know public could mean a public function) why bring her out? If you can't kiss or hug her in public, what's the point of them being married?

That's one of the best parts of being married, on our end. I get to hold my husband's hand, hug him, and kiss him in public..I'm not embarrassed to show how much I love him to others. (NOTHING OTHER THAN THAT THOUGH... a couple's sexual intimacy (sex, in general) should be done behind their closed doors. That should be no one else's business.

Erica, you need to understand the concept of "shomer negia" which means careful touching. Religious Jews believe that it is wrong and inappropriate to even shake hands with someone of the opposite gender. I was in an organization where the staff were religious and shomer negia. Whenever everyone danced, the guys and the ladies needed to dance in separate circles. Whenever we put our arms around each other to sway back and forth to the songs, we needed to do so separately. At one shabbaton, my friend naively put his arm around one of the female staff members while we were swaying to a song. At the point, the lady turned around and said, "Uhhmm, there's a problem here." My friend and I were both confused and we then had this concept explained to us and about how everyone in the organization practiced this. I was surprised and befuddled about this. At that point, I recognized that the guys and girls always danced and swayed separately from each other, but never understood why. When this situation happened, I finally understood what was going on. I later learned more about the concept and the rationale behind it. There is a belief that even if you touch someone of the opposite sex, it has the potential of creating an uncontrollable urge which can eventually lead to having sex with the person. So the rules of touching are very strictly enforced by those who observe this. In this organization (called JPSY - Jewish Public School Youth), they staff had an ongoing gag where a guy and girl would scream out, "Kosher high five!", they would go to move their hands towards in other in the movement of making a high five, but then deliberately miss each others' hands.

So this concept being expressed here isn't some crazy idea thought up of Yacov or anyone else on here. It's a common practice of religious Jews. I don't personally agree or subscribe to this. But I do understand it and respect it, just as long as others don't try to impose this belief on me.

Thank you for explaining it to me, Daniel. It shouldn't be 'crazy' to me but it was confusing because that's not the way I was brought up. I can respect Jewish people practicing shomer negia, but I hope no one really imposes that onto those who aren't Jewish.
I LOVE the Kosher High Five thing though. lol It sounds like a funny running joke.

[Daniel]

You shouldn't even dance with your wife in public. You can only kiss or hug your wife in private.

What? That's wild! But wait, if you can't dance with your wife in public (you do know public could mean a public function) why bring her out? If you can't kiss or hug her in public, what's the point of them being married?

That's one of the best parts of being married, on our end. I get to hold my husband's hand, hug him, and kiss him in public..I'm not embarrassed to show how much I love him to others. (NOTHING OTHER THAN THAT THOUGH... a couple's sexual intimacy (sex, in general) should be done behind their closed doors. That should be no one else's business.

Erica, you need to understand the concept of "shomer negia" which means careful touching. Religious Jews believe that it is wrong and inappropriate to even shake hands with someone of the opposite gender. I was in an organization where the staff were religious and shomer negia. Whenever everyone danced, the guys and the ladies needed to dance in separate circles. Whenever we put our arms around each other to sway back and forth to the songs, we needed to do so separately. At one shabbaton, my friend naively put his arm around one of the female staff members while we were swaying to a song. At the point, the lady turned around and said, "Uhhmm, there's a problem here." My friend and I were both confused and we then had this concept explained to us and about how everyone in the organization practiced this. I was surprised and befuddled about this. At that point, I recognized that the guys and girls always danced and swayed separately from each other, but never understood why. When this situation happened, I finally understood what was going on. I later learned more about the concept and the rationale behind it. There is a belief that even if you touch someone of the opposite sex, it has the potential of creating an uncontrollable urge which can eventually lead to having sex with the person. So the rules of touching are very strictly enforced by those who observe this. In this organization (called JPSY - Jewish Public School Youth), they staff had an ongoing gag where a guy and girl would scream out, "Kosher high five!", they would go to move their hands towards in other in the movement of making a high five, but then deliberately miss each others' hands.

So this concept being expressed here isn't some crazy idea thought up of Yacov or anyone else on here. It's a common practice of religious Jews. I don't personally agree or subscribe to this. But I do understand it and respect it, just as long as others don't try to impose this belief on me.

Thank you for explaining it to me, Daniel. It shouldn't be 'crazy' to me but it was confusing because that's not the way I was brought up. I can respect Jewish people practicing shomer negia, but I hope no one really imposes that onto those who aren't Jewish.
I LOVE the Kosher High Five thing though. lol It sounds like a funny running joke.

You're quite welcome. The kosher high five is pretty funny. The first time I saw it, I laughed at how funny it was and at the same time growled with frustration

[Erica]

So am I to understand that Yacov was speaking of ONLY Jewish people or the entire populus of people who like to boogie with the opposite sex?

[Vito]

Listen, my dancing skills are probably the only thing that women like about me (not that I've had any luck finding a girl with it).. but it helps in the search of finding a girlfriend!
BTW - Women that dance ballroom/tango style are very classy women.. not sluts that dance on top of bar counters.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Erica marriage isnt about showing yourself to other people in public. Thats soo foolish. Also marriage shouldnt be all about recieving you need to be willing to give unconditionally.

[Dr. Dan]

A contact dance should only be performed by a man and his wife. Dancing with a daughter or son is acceptable, too. A man dancing with any other women doesn't make sense.

Jewish dances are traditional, so banning them would be going against Jewish culture. Our culture is very important, and must be perserved in a time where the implementation of external cultures is starting to occur.

I accept that a married man should only dance with his wife or daughters or grand daughters..or nieces..but a random woman...doesn't seem right...and vice versa with a married woman and another man..just something doesn't seem right about it.

[Dr. Dan]

Should it?

What is interdancing?

Any dance where two people are dancing together. That is just crazy to me, by the way, to ban dancing with a partner. Its DANCING.

You really have no understanding of morality or Jewish customs. Having contact with other women, besides one of your own family, is wrong. A husband or even an unmarried man should not be dancing with strange women. And if he's married he should only be dancing with his wife or daughter.

Yes, a man should only dance with his strange wife

Do you ever contribute anything meaningful? Why don't you and Erica go find a nice anti-semetic, liberal forum?

All you and Erica ever do is oppose the Jews of JTF. Why are you two hear if you're against this movement?

They don't oppose any religious Jews...they are trying to find some sense in the strict religiosity that many JTF Jews follow. I happen to agree with them on a lot of things..

however, like them, they aren't telling any JTF Jews that they shouldn't follow the traditions set forth to these JTF Jews...They are simply saying, "It's not my thing, so don't tell me what to do just because it works for you..."  And to this I agree wtih tremendously..You don't show the beauty of Judaism by trying to ban things and imposing it everyone..I can certainly tell you that Chaim is totally against this as well..

[Dr. Dan]

I mean, I'm not a big fan of the Mekhitza even in religious weddings...but it is what it is...

I don't think there should be separate tables at religious weddings but I do think there should be a mechitza for the dancing. But I have seen men on the right seats and women on the left seats at the actual wedding ceremony. There is no mechitza there. After the couple are in the yichud room (Where they can touch and be alone for the first time.), everyone then goes to their tables. At some weddings, the tables are mixed, and at some they are separate. But all religious weddings have separate dancing. But I was at one that had separate dancing at first and then they removed the mechitza later on but even then, there weren't really traditional partner dancing. It was just the  men and women in the same place. But there is an issue of seeing women while they are dancing. It could arouse men. At my synagogue on Simchat Torah, they put up a screen over the mechitza so we couldn't see the women dancing. But during prayer, there doesn't need to be a screen because it is okay to see women while praying if they are dressed modestly. The prohibition is only to mix with them during the praying. Of course you still shouldn't stare at the women's section. I admit though that I like to look into the women's section at times.

I mean, I can understand all that...I get it...

But it's not for me...I don't like it..it's too strict.

[Dr. Dan]

Should it?

What is interdancing?

Any dance where two people are dancing together. That is just crazy to me, by the way, to ban dancing with a partner. Its DANCING.

You really have no understanding of morality or Jewish customs. Having contact with other women, besides one of your own family, is wrong. A husband or even an unmarried man should not be dancing with strange women. And if he's married he should only be dancing with his wife or daughter.

Yes, a man should only dance with his strange wife

Do you ever contribute anything meaningful? Why don't you and Erica go find a nice anti-semetic, liberal forum?

All you and Erica ever do is oppose the Jews of JTF. Why are you two hear if you're against this movement?

I don't appreciate being called anti-semetic, which, from what I've heard of it means one who has desdain for Jewish people. I DON'T HATE Jewish people, ANd I'm sure that Daniel dosen't either...he knows more about the Jewish religion than I do. You must be hateful though, right? If no one is hating around you, you crab, they MUST be against you or your religion (if not both). I can't help that you can't agree to disagree.


>>> ANd what IF one's wife is 'strange'..should he dance with her just to keep up appearances? This is both a serious question and a query made in jest.

Thanks Erica. You're right, I'm not antisemitic. But according to some posters here. I must be a self-hating Jew. But I think that term is fallacious. If anything, I'm an "other"-hating Jew. And even the term hate, I object to. I don't hate myself and don't hate other Jews whom I happen to disagree with. I'm a self-loving Jew and an other-disagreeing Jew with those I happen to disagree with.

You're a self-loving Jew like me

[Erica]

Erica marriage isnt about showing yourself to other people in public. Thats soo foolish. Also marriage shouldnt be all about recieving you need to be willing to give unconditionally.

Its not even about that. Hugging and kissing your Significant other shouldn't be seen as X rated in this society. If its what you practice in your religion...do so freely but don't bash those who don't have a problem with it. my husband and I kiss and hug each other in front of our daughters as well. We also talk to each other like  human beings. When they see that, they get an idea of what a great, harmonious relationship is about. We have an equal amount of giving and recieving in our marriage. I give respect, my husband gets it in return... I give love, my husband gives love in return. Part of loving your spouse, outside of religion is showing them how much they mean to you even if its with a kiss, a hug, holding hands or telling them 'I love you' in public as well as privately.

[Erica]

What? That's wild! But wait, if you can't dance with your wife in public (you do know public could mean a public function) why bring her out? If you can't kiss or hug her in public, what's the point of them being married?

So a wife's role in public is solely for the man to kiss and dance her? Don't women have any rights of their own?

And you ask what's the point of marriage if can't do that. Have you ever heard of sex and kissing behind closed doors? If you're not married, you could never do any of the above things, not even behind closed door.

Sex and kissing aren't always synonymous, Yacov. I can kiss my husband without being aroused. And he can also. Especially when he's going on a trip or something and we're in an airport terminal. I'm not going to hide that I'll miss my husband by not giving him a kiss or hug because someone'll be looking at us. FOR SHAME!
I'm married, so I can't speak on not being married... but I think it is the right of both the woman and man in the relationship to hold hands, kiss or hug if they want to in public. Do I think women have no rights at all ? I never said that. I would hope that if a man wants to hold his wife's hand that  the woman would at least say...No, I don't want to ...we're in public. I have no objections to that at all.

[Erica]

It's wrong to dance with aunts, nieces, and cousins.

I didn't even want to shake my cousin's hand because she was too attractive.

So its a self control issue. You do know that a lot of times you dont' have to touch a person to feel physically attracted to them, right? Your eyes and brain are just as much as an errogenous zone as your hands.

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

Your eyes and brain are just as much as an errogenous zone as your hands.

That's erogenous zone, skank. 

[Erica]

Your eyes and brain are just as much as an errogenous zone as your hands.

That's erogenous zone, skank. 

I don't expect an intelligent response from you at all... I'm not impressed with your latest crack at hatred towards me. You bash me for adding a 'r'? HOw petty are you? I'm no one's skank. IF you don't have anything nice to say... don't say it at all.

[Barach Velvel ben Lazer Eliazer]

The thing about you Erica is you're a liberal. As one you are against religion, tradition and would like to see some form of socialism. If you're not for any of these things than you're not a liberal, but you state you are. If these are your fews than you are totally lost.

You're always giving excuses for blacks. Whenever a black is involved in a news story, you refuse to completely blame the blacks, like with the Jena Six. You refuse to see the white point of view, and instead, side with the blacks, because that's what you are. You always claim to be impartial, but you're not fooling any one. In the Jena Six dicussions you clearly thought those black animals were innocent. You say they weren't, but your additional comments suggest otherwise.

You're always putting down religion, saying this isn't right and that's wrong. If you're not into the concept of religion, why bother coming to a religious forum?

Based on my observations, you truly are a liberal. I see there is no possible way to reason with you, because liberals simply cannot be reasoned with, so, I will just stop trying.

[Erica]

The thing about you Erica is you're a liberal. As one you are against religion, tradition and would like to see some form of socialism. If you're not for any of these things than you're not a liberal, but you state you are. If these are your fews than you are totally lost.

You're always giving excuses for blacks. Whenever a black is involved in a news story, you refuse to completely blame the blacks, like with the Jena Six. You refuse to see the white point of view, and instead, side with the blacks, because that's what you are. You always claim to be impartial, but you're not fooling any one. In the Jena Six dicussions you clearly thought those black animals were innocent. You say they weren't, but your additional comments suggest otherwise.

You're always putting down religion, saying this isn't right and that's wrong. If you're not into the concept of religion, why bother coming to a religious forum?

Based on my observations, you truly are a liberal. I see there is no possible way to reason with you, because liberals simply cannot be reasoned with, so, I will just stop trying.

I'm not against religion, Barach. And about this "you refuse to see the white point of view" bologney, you're wrong. You ONLY want me to see the 'white point of view' when there is more to the story. I didn't say that the Jena 6 were innocent for what they did. I didn't exuse them from their crime and I even went so far as to state that they could have walked away after Justin Barker made racial slurs against them. White people committed the same crimes against black boys in the same town but no one wants to see that... Those white kids who contributed in crimes against blacks in Jena never saw jail for 8 months, nor 8 minutes. The Jena 6 spent upwards of 8-10 months behind bars in an adult facility. I think that's enough. That dosen't mean I'm excusing them for what they did... I dont' think ANYONE needs to be behind bars for 1 year or the 22 years the Jena boys were about to get for a schoolyard fight. The punishment should have been handed down by school officials...expulsion would have been a great way to punish the Jena 6 for what they did.

And again, you are such a liar, I NEVER said that the Jena 6 were innocent!!! I EVEN state it in my latest VIDEO, so you can hear the words come straight out of my mouth, you angry person!

I NEVER put down religion, again..I'm trying to refrain from calling you names.... And since the forum is so religious, when did the Torah or the Bible say it was okay to call black people out of their names like monkeys? How religious is that?

And you don't have to reason with me. And I don't have to reason with you. We have opinions for a reason, because they differ. Otherwise it would be called "an agreement". You don't seem to understand that your word isn't the law of the land or the end all to be all of communication.

I'll agree, you should stop trying to do what I NEVER asked you to do; reason with me.

[Dan]

I don't think it should be banned.

[Mstislav]

You really have no understanding of morality or Jewish customs. Having contact with other women, besides one of your own family, is wrong. A husband or even an unmarried man should not be dancing with strange women. And if he's married he should only be dancing with his wife or daughter.

Did that come from islam?

[Jasmina]

dancing is fun and good exercise

[jdl4ever]

Yacov, what's with all these irrelevant polls? 

[Mstislav]

Erica, you need to understand the concept of "shomer negia" which means careful touching. Religious Jews believe that it is wrong and inappropriate to even shake hands with someone of the opposite gender. I was in an organization where the staff were religious and shomer negia. Whenever everyone danced, the guys and the ladies needed to dance in separate circles. Whenever we put our arms around each other to sway back and forth to the songs, we needed to do so separately. At one shabbaton, my friend naively put his arm around one of the female staff members while we were swaying to a song. At the point, the lady turned around and said, "Uhhmm, there's a problem here." My friend and I were both confused and we then had this concept explained to us and about how everyone in the organization practiced this. I was surprised and befuddled about this. At that point, I recognized that the guys and girls always danced and swayed separately from each other, but never understood why. When this situation happened, I finally understood what was going on. I later learned more about the concept and the rationale behind it. There is a belief that even if you touch someone of the opposite sex, it has the potential of creating an uncontrollable urge which can eventually lead to having sex with the person. So the rules of touching are very strictly enforced by those who observe this. In this organization (called JPSY - Jewish Public School Youth), they staff had an ongoing gag where a guy and girl would scream out, "Kosher high five!", they would go to move their hands towards in other in the movement of making a high five, but then deliberately miss each others' hands.

So this concept being expressed here isn't some crazy idea thought up of Yacov or anyone else on here. It's a common practice of religious Jews. I don't personally agree or subscribe to this. But I do understand it and respect it, just as long as others don't try to impose this belief on me.

There is a belief that even if you touch someone of the opposite sex, it has the potential of creating an uncontrollable urge which can eventually lead to having sex with the person.

Nothing of the sort will happen unless BOTH parties want this. If one know better, they should do better. HaShem will reward them for it in the future. As far as I know, muzzies are the ones who cannot control their urges. It is shocking to find practices done in islam observed in Judaism.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

You really have no understanding of morality or Jewish customs. Having contact with other women, besides one of your own family, is wrong. A husband or even an unmarried man should not be dancing with strange women. And if he's married he should only be dancing with his wife or daughter.

Did that come from islam?

No, anyway Judaism existed much prior to Islam.