Addicted to Gambling

[Ralph1]

Has anyone ever had a gambling addiction before? I've lost $67,000 over the passed 3 years and am still addicted. I am seriously frustrated. How does one overcome an addiction?

[newman]

You need to contact Gamblers' Anonymous ASAP! It'll just get worse and you'll lose EVERYTHING.

 You cannot win at ANY house game or machine. The odds versus payout are stacked against the gambler. You cannot change mathematical probability anymore than the laws of physics.

[Ehud]

I've never had a gambling addiction so I don't really know what you're going through.  I would just look at the fact that YOU'VE LOST $67,000 and try to realize that this isn't the best thing for you.  I've overcome a few addictions (to alcohol and cigarettes) and what you need to do is just recognize that gambling isn't good for you.  Fight the urge and think about the big picture.  Try to come up with all the reasons why you SHOULDN'T gamble, and then compare them to the reasons why you should. This will give you more strength in overcoming your addiction, as long as you use your head. 

[Dr. Dan]

Has anyone ever had a gambling addiction before? I've lost $67,000 over the passed 3 years and am still addicted. I am seriously frustrated. How does one overcome an addiction?

Fascinating because a close friend of mine called me the other night to tell me the same..but not as bad as you it seems..

I think that I have the potential to have a gambling problem..but then again, most human beings have that potential.

I have a lot to tell you...and there is nothing like that wonderful feeling of winning on a gamble..or just the entertainment of it!  But, man, when you are playing simply to make money and your heart beats out of yoru chest and you then you lose and then you keep playing ot get that money back and lose a LOT OF MONEY, that's it, it's the worst feeling in the world!

Now, this is what I have learned. One time I was in Vegas with one of my friends who despises gambling. We decided to go to the high stakes table for Black Jack and see waht the deal was. This guy lost 30,000 dollars in 30 minutes and didn't give a crap!

Now, let me tellyou something..$30,000 can be well spent for lots of things...or even be put to a great cause..and ever since I saw that happen, I basically became turned off to gambling..on occasion, I"ll do it for fun..but nothing more.

I woudl suggest, the moment you feel like gambling, get together with your friends or family and play a board game or card game with them. Make bets for dinner or the movies...a home cooked meal...I know it's hard to get out of that habit, but do it this way rather than give money pointlessly to evil causes.

[Zvulun Ben Moshe]

Has anyone ever had a gambling addiction before? I've lost $67,000 over the passed 3 years and am still addicted. I am seriously frustrated. How does one overcome an addiction?

$67,000??? I have a brilliant solution for you, my friend!

Donate it to JTF! And let such activity become an addiction for you thereafter. It can even be tax-deductible, not to forget the holy payback.

[newman]

I have studied gambling mathematics. You can NREVER win at house games except under the following conditions.

1/ Blackjack if (a) you can count cards, (b) they don't detect you, (c) they use no more than four decks in a shoe and (d) they don't shuffle after each hand. In other words.....impossible in 99.9% of casinos today.

2/ Roulette if you spend (literally) weeks monitoring THOUSANDS of spins and detect wheel bias. Even then it will take several spins to get a return and if the pit boss shuts that table down before your winning bet makes up for the losing ones, you're done.

[Zvulun Ben Moshe]

I can't understand how stupid people can be when they associate casino with luck.

There is no connection. Casino has nothing to do with chance. In reverse, it is one of the surest ways to make money, for the owners of the casino of course.

They make money on you, and you have to be a complete idiot to think otherwise.

Ironically, very often one can lose in casino more than he could have spent on building one.

[MasterWolf1]

You should seek help right away for gambeling addiction.  You have one.  To lose 67,000 over the passed 3 years that is an addiction.  If you do need help you will have to be the first on to step forward to get help for this.

Read into these for help.  You do not want to go broke by horses and casinos.  I don't mean to sound pushy far from it.  But here if you need it.

Gambling Addiction: 
Gamblers Anonymous
The National Council on Problem Gambling - NATIONWIDE HELPLINE 1-800-522-4700 
www.800gambler.org
The 1-800-Gambler Helpline operates in the following states AK, CA, IL, KY, MS, , NJ, NM, NV, PA and TX.  For help with a gambling problem in any other state call 1-800-522-4700 for immediate assistance. 

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

Ralph, you have to stop and get some help. NOBODY ever beats the house. It's a fraud even bigger than the oil scam the oil companies and Muzzies are pulling on us. You must get some professional counseling now in order to save your life from this beast!

I will be praying for you to beat this terrible vice, all the way.

[Trumpeldor]

You need to realize that if you stop right now, this exact second, then it is not too late.

[cjd]

Ralph, MasterWolf1  gave you the right advice. I don't gamble at all and am amazed at how gamblers will just toss good money after bad. I don't even play the Lotto of buy the scratch offs much. I had a few relatives in my extended family that did. One guy who made good money all his life died almost penny less and the other managed to recover to an extent on his own through some miracle in his retirement years and sort of stopped betting. The stress over paying shylarks back loan people calling and other things that come along with over extending yourself cut years off their lives. I also know some gamblers who play with discretionary money ( money not needed for bills ) if you can at least get yourself to this level your halfway home. Think of all the great things you can do if you had 70 grand in your hands right now. Honestly get yourself some help you sound like gambling has got the best of you. Good luck in getting this sorted out.

[jsullivan]

All the suggestions here are good ones, but I would also ask Chaim on the program. Chaim has helped people with this problem.

[Bodhi]

  I had kind of the same problem for a long time, although I never lost that much money....But I would gamble pretty compulsively, and I was pretty good, often winning a lot of money (I mainly played blackjack, and bet on sporting events), of course sometimes you loose also, that's why they call it gambling....I think dannycookie's advice is good.....I finally realized the same thing that it;s really not a lot of fun to spend hours and hours gambling, even if you come out ahead you could have spent the time much bettier on something constructive.

  Good luck...you have taken the first step and admitted that you have a problem, the next step is to decide not to let it beat you.

[Ralph1]

I came close to quiting a while back but then ended up gaining $30 at the end of the day. That prolonged my addiction. I never really lost to much in one day. I'd go in the casino in Atlantic city and loose $500 in a day and leave. This would happen every week for 3 years. I'm not even counting the costs of hotels which I'd never go to if I weren't gambling. When people are addicted to porn drugs or alcohol it is different then gambling because the gambler thinks there is a small chance he can win but with the others there is no chance it can benefit you. Thank You guys for the great advice. I'll add a poll now.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

I voted #2. I dont think that lotteries should be banned and one should be allowed to play in moderation. (one who believes in G-d should buy one lottery becuase we dont rely on chance but if G-d wants it or not).

Anyway personally in my gambling experience I won more then I lost. I played blackjak in international waters (have to be over 18) and won like 70 something dollers. Also the rare times I play poker with friends and ppl I know, I win the majority of the time. But I stoped, becuase im aware of the problems gambling can create and I see people who allways have a need to play more and more poker and other games while they keep on loosing more and more and arent in control of themselves.

[Ralph1]

I voted #2. I dont think that lotteries should be banned and one should be allowed to play in moderation. (one who believes in G-d should buy one lottery becuase we dont rely on chance but if G-d wants it or not).

Anyway personally in my gambling experience I won more then I lost. I played blackjak in international waters (have to be over 18) and won like 70 something dollers. Also the rare times I play poker with friends and ppl I know, I win the majority of the time. But I stoped, becuase im aware of the problems gambling can create and I see people who allways have a need to play more and more poker and other games while they keep on loosing more and more and arent in control of themselves.

Wow. That's amazing. I have noticed some people in the casinos win more than others. Do you have a strategy or use the laws of probability in your favor?

[Dr. Dan]

I voted #2. I dont think that lotteries should be banned and one should be allowed to play in moderation. (one who believes in G-d should buy one lottery becuase we dont rely on chance but if G-d wants it or not).

Anyway personally in my gambling experience I won more then I lost. I played blackjak in international waters (have to be over 18) and won like 70 something dollers. Also the rare times I play poker with friends and ppl I know, I win the majority of the time. But I stoped, becuase im aware of the problems gambling can create and I see people who allways have a need to play more and more poker and other games while they keep on loosing more and more and arent in control of themselves.

Wow. That's amazing. I have noticed some people in the casinos win more than others. Do you have a strategy or use the laws of probability in your favor?

dude, my suggestion is to only play miminally for entertainment value...the money that you think you will make by gambling give to a good cause..

[Dan]

I don't gamble BUT there's a way of counting cards where you can do very well in BLACKJACK!
However, the most important thing right now is helping you stop your addiction and not focus on how to BEAT THE HOUSE!

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

I voted #2. I dont think that lotteries should be banned and one should be allowed to play in moderation. (one who believes in G-d should buy one lottery becuase we dont rely on chance but if G-d wants it or not).

Anyway personally in my gambling experience I won more then I lost. I played blackjak in international waters (have to be over 18) and won like 70 something dollers. Also the rare times I play poker with friends and ppl I know, I win the majority of the time. But I stoped, becuase im aware of the problems gambling can create and I see people who allways have a need to play more and more poker and other games while they keep on loosing more and more and arent in control of themselves.

Wow. That's amazing. I have noticed some people in the casinos win more than others. Do you have a strategy or use the laws of probability in your favor?

  No strategy, just my inner voice saying "please G-d let me win". At the casino I just played for 5 or 10 dollers a hand, I would get in the middle of a game after I would see the house win, play 2ce and then leave. Also I wouldnt hit allmost all the times after the cards were 12 or higher, unless one of the cards the house had was = to 10 or ace.
- for poker, I play aggresive most of the time and also dont hold on to a particular strategy because you will notice people making similar decisions after a while at its easier to read them even when they are bluffing.

- anyway dont let me encourage you in gambling, and you should know that I dont do this often, becuase every addiction is bad, not allowed  and oce you get addicted you probably will begin to loose big time.

[Lubab]

An addiction is a serious matter that you must confront and try to defeat as soon as you can as it can turn people's lives in utter nightmares. Most don't understand addiction. Addicts know and understand the behavior is destructive but do it anyway.

Generally people will not stop the addictive behavior until the pain of the consquences becomes greater than the pleasure in doing that thing.

That's why you should try to set up a situation that makes it very difficult, painful and expernsive for you to go gambling. For this reason it is smart to get a support group so that the peer pressure can work in your favor. We're here for you and also speaking to people who have been throught it and succeeded is very helpful which is why you may want to check into a program.

If you can make it more difficult for yourself to go gamble in any way that would be good.  Maybe you could tell your bank not to allow any charges from the area where the casino's are so your card will be denied, or something like that. Moving very far away from any casino is another idea. These are just suggestions to think about to increase the pain of the consqueces of gambling to it becomes more than the pleasure you get in it.

You might consider making a rule that you'll give away anything you win plus more-this way even if you win you're still losing and that sort of takes the fun out it-which is what you want to try to do.

Don't worry about curing yourself permently, just worry about not gambling TODAY.

Most of all trust in G-d who has certainly given you all the tools you need to overcome this.
Learn Torah and pray to G-d regularly in order to "feed" this trust.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Ralph - I suggest you purchase the book "The Garden Of Emuna" by Rav Shalom Arush. It deals with Emuna and does talk about Gambling. Its well worth purchasing this book for less then $20, and strenthening yourself against an addiction like this (and helps in many things as well), and really gaining genuine Happiness then to loose much more in a Casino in a single game.

Google it, and purchase it, believe me its worth the investment.

[mosquewatch]

Ralph,

As a previous poster stated, you have taken a brave first step in the admission of a problem. Take the next step and seek some professional help. You are brave and should be commended for being intelligent enough to realize the problem exists. Be well and be safe, best of wishes too you and yours.

Jeff

[Jasmina]

Has anyone ever had a gambling addiction before? I've lost $67,000 over the passed 3 years and am still addicted. I am seriously frustrated. How does one overcome an addiction?

  This is a serious problem. First of all the fact that you admit it is a very important step, the other question is did you ever try to quit gambling? and WHY???

[Ralph1]

Ralph, if you like, we can move your gambling question with some edits to the now-locked October 14th Ask JTF, and Chaim can talk to you about it tonight (there still is time). How about it? As Jimmy mentioned, Chaim has helped people with this in past.

I think I should ask him in a future ASK JTF because it will take me time to edit it to edit it and I'd like to hear him answer the question I've already posted.

[Ralph1]

This is a serious problem. First of all the fact that you admit it is a very important step, the other question is did you ever try to quit gambling? and WHY???

I've been admitting it for a year, but it's hard to quit because I keep thinking I can win even though I know deep down the probability of winning is low.