Einstein smoked tobacco in his pipe 24hrs a day, and he always claimed tobacco smoke as the reason that he was so smart.
He claimed that the "spirits of the tabak" sent him "secret messages from the universe" when he watched all of the smoke swirling out of his pipe bowl.
One day, in teaching an advanced physics class, a young pretty girl raised her hand and asked "Professor, Sir"..."Do you mind putting out that pipe?"...."That smoke is really getting to me!"
It is said that Einstein, without blinking an eye, struck another wooden match on the sole of his shoe, lit up his pipe, inhaled deeply, and then threw the lit match on the girl in an attempt to set her dress on fire.
"Dumkopf!"..."Schweinhundt"!...."I come here to build a bomb big enough to kill a few million zipperheads, and you dare to question "the wisdom of the smoke?"
Then he hurled a heavy glass ashtray at the frightened sophomore, dumping stinking cigarette butts and ashes all over her tight cashmere sweater and getting matchsticks stuck in her hair!
As a few of the football squad rose to their feet to help the young confused girl, Einstein reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a large switchblade knife. "Come on, you mamzers!"..."I'll cut you so low you can sit on a dime and swing your legs!"...shouted the brilliant Austrian genius!..."You want some of ME?"....
(to be cont'd)