Kahanist Singles > Jewish Singles
Is it a good idea to have sex ed?
Dr. Dan:
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on January 02, 2008, 11:39:43 AM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 04:17:32 PM ---It maybe so...however i look at it another way. It's like speeding in a 35 mph zone going 60 mph. Sometimes you get caught and pay a fine. And other times you never get caught. Gd forbid you get into a car accident going that fast in the wrong place also. I liken sinning to this concept. If one acts immorally, even if it is a victimless crime, he/she might get caught and pay the consequences in his life or afterwards...or he may not get caught but might get hurt instead for acting immorally and making his/her life less fullfilling. The Laws of Gd are not meant to make Gd happy or vengeful necessarily. On the other hand, it is for us for our betterment. If we act improperly, it hurts us, not Gd as much.
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--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on January 02, 2008, 06:58:37 AM ---Because I don't go through life worrying about the after life and world to come..I go through life living on thsi planet earth and first and formost taking care of myself and my family and fellow Jews around me. If i get a back row in the world to come, then I get a back row in the world to come. i'm living the hear and now as morally and as righteously as possible...but i will worry the most on how I treat others first.
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Again, this is a foolish, inconsistent attitude. "I'm just hurting myself, therefore it's OK." If you don't care about the "afterlife", or if you don't want to spend your life "worrying" about it, then why are you putting on Tefillin? Why are you going to Yom Kippur services? When your parents pass away (G-d willing it should happen late), are you not going to say Qaddish for them for eleven months because you don't spend time worrying about the afterlife (this question is rhetorical)? The fact is whether you like it or not, you are thinking of it, otherwise you would conduct yourself a lot more differently.
Doing the mitsvot will make this world a better place, whether they are between man and his fellow or between man and G-d. You think the world is not affected by the aberot you and I do in "the privacy of our own home"? You think your family and fellow Jews are not affected?
Isn't enough just to be a good person?
Yes, for a goy.
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Let me clarify...I don't live on this earth so that I can go to heaven...I do not live on this earth to wait for the Moshiach.. Yes i believe in it... But the importance in life is what you do in the here and now. And to live ethically and righteously..Why should I live like this? It's not for a reward in the after life..it's because it is simply the RIGHT THING TO DO!!! When one works for rewards, and sees the reward doesn't come, then he can just as easily give up on acting righteously and act selfishly which hurts everyone. My point is, I do not do the things i do so I can get to heaven or usher in the moshiach faster...I do the things I do because it simply is the right and decent thing to do!
When I wear T'fillin, I feel closer to Gd and am in touch with myself. Therefore it helps me daily when I wear it when i wear it. I dont' wear tfillin for a reward in the after life. When I got shul on Yom Kippur and think about the past year and cry when I think of somethign beautiful I don't do it so that i can get to heaven. I do it because I become a better person, Gd willing, when i self-reflect. When I pray to Gd for my well being and any family member or friend, I pray for our well being and a prosperous life. I pray to be guided in the proper direction and to look away from doing evil deeds. It's not to go to Heaven. I will let Gd decide what will be done with my soul when that time comes.
WHen a loved one passes away, Yes, I say Kaddish. I say Kaddish, as they say, to help elevate the soul to heaven. It is part of our tradition and I believe in it.
Don't we all love to eat candy? BUt eating candy is bad for us! So why eat it if it is bad for us? But eating candy is pleasurable. And in life you are supposed to experience some pleasure even if it might hurt you slightly or minisculey like driving 5 mph faster than the speed limit. I'm not suggesting that we eat tons of candy everyday..but once in awhile it's ok..in moderation.
Therefore your rhetroical questions are very silly. I"m not cutting my veins and beating myself up hurting myself. I am not stealing, Gd forbid.. I'm not killing, Gd forbid. I'm not comitting homosexuality, Gd forbid. I'm doing the best that I can and first and foremost, I'm treating as many people as I can with kindness and with dignity.
YOu take what i say as if I have no faith. I have faith...I faith in everything...But i'm not going to rely on death while I am alive. I want to live life properly. When I look at a woman, for example, I dont' want to look at her like she's a piece of meat as Judaism proclaims..I want to look at a woman with her soul at the same time. And I dont' do this so I can get to HEaven. I do this because it is 1000 times more fullfilling than the other way. The Torah is a recipe book for LIVING the proper life...Not living FOR the after life....The afterlife is not for OUR religion..It's for the Muslims and maybe some Christians. The Torah is the book of LIFE not the Book of afterlife..or Book of Moshiach... Get real!
Dr. Dan:
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on January 02, 2008, 11:57:43 AM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on January 02, 2008, 07:02:40 AM ---Tv and cable is a distraction if one makes it a distraction. If someone is addicted to TV, then it only makes sense to not have it in the bedroom. If a couple is not addicted to TV, then there is nothing wrong with having it in the bedroom.
What if a husband and wife enjoy reading before sleeping? Then the book is just as distracting as the TV would be to another couple that watches TV all day.
Therefore, it isn't whether or not one has cable TV in their room which might distract them. It goes for any couple to avoid putting things in their room that will distract them from sexual relations when they are supposed to be doing it.
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It's not really a matter of being "addicted" to TV. And it is nice to watch a late night talk show and laugh with one's spouse once in a while, since it can add to the shalom bayith. So? Do it in the living room? I'm telling you I've seen it first hand, what a TV does to communication in the bedroom. And you cannot compare a book to a TV... you have to be joking. Please spare me having to elaborate on the differences between reading in bed verses being hypnotized by a stupid box. And even if the couple can talk intermittently while the TV is on, the attention is still focused on the TV.
It's sickening to hear over here that people are getting bored within the first 5 minutes of talking to their own spouse. Why all this reliance on technology to help your marriage? This is utter laziness. Jews knew how to make their marriages work for 3000+ years before the TV was invented, and they can certainly do without it now if they learn to use their brains instead of relying on brainless TV. A Jew cannot even touch his spouse for two weeks every month; does the marriage have to suffer because there is absolutely no physical affection during those times? Of course not.
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Again, I am not disagreeing with you. I think this can hold true for certain couples, but not all of them.
I personally do not have a TV in my bedroom. I don't see the point in having one. But when I'm married, Gd willing, I will discuss it with my wife if we should place one in there. THe TV is just as good on teh days off we have when we wake up in the morning and just want to cuddle in bed together..But that's just my opinion. I think having board games and puzzle books and newspapers is great too...So to each their own. You're right...the level of intellect between a husband and his wife shoudl be as described and if the TV is going to make them lazy to not talk to each other, then it is a better thing not to have it in the bedroom. But only a husband and wife knows what's best for themselves...It is not for you and me to judge.
Dr. Dan:
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on January 02, 2008, 01:05:58 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on January 02, 2008, 12:11:48 PM ---Let me clarify...I don't live on this earth so that I can go to heaven...I do not live on this earth to wait for the Moshiach.. Yes i believe in it... But the importance in life is what you do in the here and now. And to live ethically and righteously..Why should I live like this? It's not for a reward in the after life..it's because it is simply the RIGHT THING TO DO!!! When one works for rewards, and sees the reward doesn't come, then he can just as easily give up on acting righteously and act selfishly which hurts everyone. My point is, I do not do the things i do so I can get to heaven or usher in the moshiach faster...I do the things I do because it simply is the right and decent thing to do!
When I wear T'fillin, I feel closer to Gd and am in touch with myself. Therefore it helps me daily when I wear it when i wear it. I dont' wear tfillin for a reward in the after life. When I got shul on Yom Kippur and think about the past year and cry when I think of somethign beautiful I don't do it so that i can get to heaven. I do it because I become a better person, Gd willing, when i self-reflect. When I pray to Gd for my well being and any family member or friend, I pray for our well being and a prosperous life. I pray to be guided in the proper direction and to look away from doing evil deeds. It's not to go to Heaven. I will let Gd decide what will be done with my soul when that time comes.
WHen a loved one passes away, Yes, I say Kaddish. I say Kaddish, as they say, to help elevate the soul to heaven. It is part of our tradition and I believe in it.
Don't we all love to eat candy? BUt eating candy is bad for us! So why eat it if it is bad for us? But eating candy is pleasurable. And in life you are supposed to experience some pleasure even if it might hurt you slightly or minisculey like driving 5 mph faster than the speed limit. I'm not suggesting that we eat tons of candy everyday..but once in awhile it's ok..in moderation.
Therefore your rhetroical questions are very silly. I"m not cutting my veins and beating myself up hurting myself. I am not stealing, Gd forbid.. I'm not killing, Gd forbid. I'm not comitting homosexuality, Gd forbid. I'm doing the best that I can and first and foremost, I'm treating as many people as I can with kindness and with dignity.
YOu take what i say as if I have no faith. I have faith...I faith in everything...But i'm not going to rely on death while I am alive. I want to live life properly. When I look at a woman, for example, I dont' want to look at her like she's a piece of meat as Judaism proclaims..I want to look at a woman with her soul at the same time. And I dont' do this so I can get to HEaven. I do this because it is 1000 times more fullfilling than the other way. The Torah is a recipe book for LIVING the proper life...Not living FOR the after life....The afterlife is not for OUR religion..It's for the Muslims and maybe some Christians. The Torah is the book of LIFE not the Book of afterlife..or Book of Moshiach... Get real!
According to your philosophy, I'm afflicting myself when I put on Tefillin. Because I do not feel a single thing when I put on Tefillin, therefore I shouldn't bother? On the other hand, why am I putting it on? Because it is equivalent to the entire Torah. The King decreed and I listen; the Doctor gave medicine and I take it (you talk about candy, I talk about medicine). But again, you say Qaddish to because you give a damn about the afterlife. I don't know what you mean by "it's part of our tradition."
My philosophy doesn't claim you are afflicting yourself when you put on T'fillin. And if you don't feel a single thing when you put it on it doesn't make you a bad person. However, you DO feel something because it makes the rest of your day a little better.
And yes, I do wonder about after life. And it makes me feel better that there could be on which exists and that there could be a moshiach etc etc. So when the proper time comes to say Kaddish I say Kaddish. I'm not denying that Heaven exists or anything like that..I'm just saying we have to live in the here and now and think about rewards after we die...just do the right thing in this life.
Is that what you think about Jews? That they beat their chests all day saying "Oh woe is us!" Of course, the Hachamim tell us not to dwell on the subject of Mashiah and 'Olam haBa. I personally dislike any obsession with these matters, and can see the reasons why the Sages said not to dwell on the subject. Every mitsva should be done l'Shma. Exactly, the Torah was given For THIS world, NOT for 'Olam haBa! So you are squandering your opportunity to connect to G-d in THIS world for a little "candy"? Of course, the more you connect to G-d through the performance of the mitsvot, the less that "candy" is going to mean to you. What's your idea for living a "proper" and "ethical" life? Not to hurt others? Be a good person? Again, it's a wonderful start but NOT an end. A Jew has been given a higher mission; it's called "Torah," and includes its study.
No i do not think that Jews beat their chests are day long. I admire what observant Jews do and how they live. I respect them tremendously...and i respect all people who are especially righteous to one another. I am, by all means, not being critical about what they do. I'm not arguing for people to live like me either. For me right now in this time, what is right for me is moderation in religion and secularism..It's not necessarily right or wrong..it's what's right for me right now..it may change one day..Not suggesting for others to follow my lead either.
You mentioned "homosexuality-G-d forbid". Why G-d forbid? Does consensual homosexuality done in the privacy of one's home hurt others? You place a G-d forbid on homosexuality but what about on taking your family to a taref restaurant? Does that also matter in your view of the world?
Most of these things are victimless crimes if kept quiet. That doesn't make it right. Homosexuality is obviously wrong for so many reasons. Eating treyf isn't so wrong, but should be avoided when possible. You get sick when have homosexual relations. And you can get sick for a very looong time when that happens. Eating treyf might give you a belly ache...It's not good for you, but you don't suddenly become impure from eating it.
Now, I'm not suggesting it's ok. I dont' personally eat treyf..nor does my family. It isn't the worst sin...It's not like killing another human being. It is certainly better to eat what's kosher than not kosher. Now, this is only my opinion..It isn't a good opinion I know. I will not be lenient on myself on Treyf foods..but i'm not going to impose other Jews and what I mean by impose i mean FORCE other Jews to follow the rules the way I want them to..NEVER!! I would prefer to educate them...This is the proper thing to do in Galut. In israel, certainly treyf should be banned...except pigs..Pigs shoudl be allowed to exist in Israel but that's only for the sake of keeping the Muzzies away.
And then you say that Judaism proclaims that the Jewish woman is just a "piece of meat". How dare you? Is that also what you think of the other mitsvot, like kashruth and Shabbat? NO mitzva can be trivialized. I understand if you are not ready to undertake some, but don't try justifying it by saying that you are only hurting yourself, or that it's more important to be a good person. 6-1-3, hallas.
NO!! I implied the opposite. That Judaism does NOT proclaim this..you think I'm nuts!? Does that sound consistent with what i've been saying all along?! Unless it was a typo..oops...but NO NOT AT ALL!!! I'm basically saying that women shoudl NOT be looked as if they are a piece of meat..that they have a soul and that one shoudl love that soul and not think of her as a sex object...and yes, in marraige and in halakha the rules which are given to us on how we should with her is meant to elevate the nature of the relationship...it's a beautiful thing!
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Kiwi:
--- Quote ---It's sickening to hear over here that people are getting bored within the first 5 minutes of talking to their own spouse
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I take it you are unmarried :::D
Little insight first year still honeymoon phrase, second year getting used to other habits, third year its a routine ......... tenth year pfft wished that you married the TV in some cases.
And theres alot of times just being together WITHOUT talking is far more pleasurable than having to listen to them. Because theres is many times when you are so tired you don't want that.
MassuhDGoodName:
skippy: "...tenth year pfft wished that you married the TV in some cases..."
Skippy,
I have this theory that the happiest marriages would be those in which the husband and wife occupy separate bedrooms, and not be around each other constantly.
It seems to me that some of the happiest housewives I have known were those whose husbands were always away from home on business trips.
In your opinion, do you think this kind of arrangement might help keep the fires of passion burning and prevent marital "burnout"?
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