i've been wrongly slammed on kahane.org... this is just in case they pull down my post there... nik.
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Hello nikmatdam June 27, 2008, 05:59:02 PM *
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setting the record straight...
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nikmatdam
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setting the record straight...
« on: Today at 05:17:25 PM »
i do not have a "shiksa-fetish" (newman's words not mine)...
i do want to get married and i'm not opposed to marrying a converted gentile...
kelly and i had a couple of weeks worth of pms on jtf and i was led for several reasons to think i had a chance with her if we would have met...
first she told me and others publically on the jewish dating board or whatever at jtf... that she likes older men having married one already in the past... and that she rejected christianity and di not believe in jesus nor did she practice any of the religious ceremonies...
she also told me she no longer felt love for her son's father who is still in love with her and wishes still to marry her... i say this because i was accused over there to the administration of trying to take a woman away from someone she loved...
she did tell me that she was not considering conversion... and i was ok with that... but i thought if we stayed friends and as i was planning to be in ny this summer i had planned on trying to get to see her and see if anything clicked between us...
we had (if she was telling me the truth as she stated herself to me) that we had alott in common... etc. and to follow will be my last letter to her and her reply before we started back up again a few days later... i am insulted at newman's words... i've never pm'd him... we have never had any history on any thread... so his words must be coming from kelly and here is the truth... sorry to have to do this but i will defend myself... at all costs... nik.
"i am nikmatdam... humble and imperfect servant of Hashem... i yearn for redemption but i absolutely ache for Divine justice and vengeance..."
nikmatdam
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my earliest of rebeiim/ rav nachman bulman zt"l...
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Re: setting the record straight...
« Reply #1 on: Today at 05:24:39 PM »
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Hello nikmatdam June 27, 2008, 06:20:18 PM *
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nikmatdam
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holding right here... (kelly's name has been deleted from some of her jtf posts and pms)
« Sent to: on: February 11, 2008, 08:01:16 AM »
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hi kelly... how are you...?
when i didn't hear from you tonite as sort of planned i did alot of thinking... and came to the following conclusion...
in order to be fair to both of our feelings i think we should not continue e-mailing... i think you know how i feel toward you already without having yet even spoken with you over the phone or met you in person...
but this can never work out unless you would somehow develop a sincere interest in judaism... so i think we should end things here if you do not think this possible... i understand... it is not an easy step to take and it is certainly not required of you as a human being nor is it our way to proseltyze gentiles... i just got encouragement from you when you said that you did not even consider yourself christian nor do you raise your son this way...
that made me feel there was at least a chance you might get interested in torah one day on your own even... but certainly if your feelings do not run to the way about me that i was beginning to feel for you... then there is nothing to talk about between us and clearly we can remain friends... but i need space for awhile so that i can get over you and move on...
because no matter what... i can not give up my judaism for you... it is not possible for me to even contemplate this... and i know you said you felt for liron the same way... that you did not want him to do anything wrong by marrying outside his faith even if he was not religious at all... and i admire you for that moral stand... well the same, even more so, applies to me... so i have to end this here so that you know where i stand as well...
if you seriously feel something for me... before we contemplate any further contact... it would be wise if you would on your own research and get in touch with the closest orthodox rabbi to your location... buffalo, boston, toronto... i do not know where is the closest one nearby you...
he should be a non-chabad rabbi because they are very reticent to do any conversion work... then if you start to feel that there is a chance that your exploration of torah-true judaism is sparking an interest within you... then and then only can you give the rabbi my e-mail address to contact me that there is something to talk about down the line... i mean you can give him my e-mail from the start and he can speak with me... i'm fine with that... but he will only be interested in teaching you the guidelines and working with your progress if he sees that this stems from you as an individual person...
no hard feelings if you cannot take this step... you are a great person and i admire and respect you greatly... and i thank you for your friendship and understanding as i unburdened myself to you... it helped me to clarify my path...
take care and G-d bless... nik.
"i am nikmatdam humble and imperfect servant of Hashem... and i yearn for redemption but i absolutely ache for Divine justice and vengeance..."
her response to me to follow... nik. out...
« Last Edit: Today at 05:34:28 PM by nikmatdam »
"i am nikmatdam... humble and imperfect servant of Hashem... i yearn for redemption but i absolutely ache for Divine justice and vengeance..."
nikmatdam
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my earliest of rebeiim/ rav nachman bulman zt"l...
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Re: setting the record straight...
« Reply #2 on: Today at 05:33:53 PM »
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(she first quotes my letter)...
kellymaureen
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Re: holding right here...
« Sent to: nikmatdam on: February 11, 2008, 10:48:48 AM »
Quote from: nikmatdam on February 11, 2008, 08:01:16 AM
hi kelly... how are you...?
when i didn't hear from you tonite as sort of planned i did alot of thinking... and came to the following conclusion...
in order to be fair to both of our feelings i think we should not continue e-mailing... i think you know how i feel toward you already without having yet even spoken with you over the phone or met you in person...
but this can never work out unless you would somehow develop a sincere interest in judaism... so i think we should end things here if you do not think this possible... i understand... it is not an easy step to take and it is certainly not required of you as a human being nor is it our way to proseltyze gentiles... i just got encouragement from you when you said that you did not even consider yourself christian nor do you raise your son this way...
that made me feel there was at least a chance you might get interested in torah one day on your own even... but certainly if your feelings do not run to the way about me that i was beginning to feel for you... then there is nothing to talk about between us and clearly we can remain friends... but i need space for awhile so that i can get over you and move on...
because no matter what... i can not give up my judaism for you... it is not possible for me to even contemplate this... and i know you said you felt for liron the same way... that you did not want him to do anything wrong by marrying outside his faith even if he was not religious at all... and i admire you for that moral stand... well the same, even more so, applies to me... so i have to end this here so that you know where i stand as well...
if you seriously feel something for me... before we contemplate any further contact... it would be wise if you would on your own research and get in touch with the closest orthodox rabbi to your location... buffalo, boston, toronto... i do not know where is the closest one nearby you...
he should be a non-chabad rabbi because they are very reticent to do any conversion work... then if you start to feel that there is a chance that your exploration of torah-true judaism is sparking an interest within you... then and then only can you give the rabbi my e-mail address to contact me that there is something to talk about down the line... i mean you can give him my e-mail from the start and he can speak with me... i'm fine with that... but he will only be interested in teaching you the guidelines and working with your progress if he sees that this stems from you as an individual person...
no hard feelings if you cannot take this step... you are a great person and i admire and respect you greatly... and i thank you for your friendship and understanding as i unburdened myself to you... it helped me to clarify my path...
take care and G-d bless... nik
(and her was her response to me)...
I agree with everything you said.
I am not a Christian, I dont really fit into any organized religion and for now Im comfortable, down the road who knows. I do not raise my son as a Christian, how could I? He has seen both sides from my mother and from Lirons parents, he is a smart boy and will do what he feels is the right thing for him and he knows whatever he decides he has my full support.
I do wish you all the happiness in the world, I just cant guarantee what I will decide if anything. If you wish to remain friends, that would be wonderful, if not I understand that also. You are a warm and wonderful person with view similar to mine and in a different circumstance who knows what could have been, but circumstances being as they are for the forseeable future I think what you have said in your note is the right thing to do.
Take care and do talk to me if you want to Im fine with friends. Thank you for letting me get to know you even just a little.
Kelly
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kellymaureen
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(and when i wrote back a few days later to resume our friendship this was her response)... (that letter next reply)
Re: holding right here...
« Sent to: nikmatdam on: February 14, 2008, 06:47:20 PM »
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Oh wonderful! Im glad we can be friends, Ive missed you Smiley
No pictures, though I do have an avatar one, but its one from the shooting range.
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kellymaureen
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"i am nikmatdam... humble and imperfect servant of Hashem... i yearn for redemption but i absolutely ache for Divine justice and vengeance..."
Yacov Menashe Ben Rachamim
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Re: setting the record straight...
« Reply #3 on: Today at 05:55:39 PM »
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Kelly said she doesn't practice Christianity but she still celebrates Christmas.
nikmatdam
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my earliest of rebeiim/ rav nachman bulman zt"l...
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Re: setting the record straight...
« Reply #4 on: Today at 05:58:56 PM »
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i'm sorry i can't find my restart pm with her... i must have not saved it or deleted it... i have some of our communiques... no longer all... however kelly has them all... so ask kelly to put that one up here... i'm not ashamed of anything i said to her... nor will i take this abuse from either of them... i did mention to the jtf admin. that she spoke with about firearms with me... inquiring whether i was armed... i thought nothing of the question at first but when i learned from someone over there that she was a spy-suspect... i took it upon myself for the safety of all of us there to at least mention the point of her question in order to err on the side of caution... and now she is indeed suspected of being just that due to revelations of late... check jtf for that angle to this story... i'll not rehash that here... so they looked over our pms... a few of them that were flagged and she was asked not to speak about weapons... i never said to them she was attempting to run guns and sell them to me... all i did say i was worried about was that if she was suspected as a spy (possible fbi or cia or homeland security) i could retroactively be led to infer that she was baiting me to try and catch me in a violation of the law for unregistered guns which i have not any of... you can see our jtf public discussion over these allegations and the back and forth over warnings to us not to discuss weapons etc. i'll have to get back to you guys on the link to that thread... for now... this is why she is angry with me and seeking revenge... but i have nothing to hide... i did not wish her ill or try to get her banned... i just tried to protect myself and others... and if she has helped skippy or kiwi (or whatever she calls herself these days) to post here and on nazi-sites our jtf ids and info... if this is really true... then i was right to go forward with my doubt of kelly and report her to the jtf admin. sorry guys but this is the whole truth... i have my pms back and forth with kelly when i admitted to her that i had done this... if you want i'll post these all too next week... i have nothing to hide and have meant no harm to anyone...
my only fault here is being trusting of someone whom i thought i was becoming very friendly with as you can see from the above two posts to this thread... and there is nothing wrong in judaism with wooing a woman to convert... who already professes no belief in any religion... and if her subsequent interest in me... if it would have occurred... then if she did later convert not just for me but with a sincere desire to be a torah-jew and believe in Hashem... then there would have been nothing wrong with any of this... not according to halacha... torah law... and yes i am a rabbi... and the last time i checked... rabbis are still allowed to marry converts... just not kohanic ones... which i am not... nik. out... shabat shalom...
"i am nikmatdam... humble and imperfect servant of Hashem... i yearn for redemption but i absolutely ache for Divine justice and vengeance..."
