Author Topic: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)  (Read 2792 times)

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Offline Xoce

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Sooo, I will probably regret posting this, LOL but it is almost 4 AM and I had a long day and I don't care at this point in time, ...

 :( :(
but...

I have a friend, well I thought I had a friend? :thumbsdown:
I spoke to him a lot on the phone, for a while, but over the past week I tried calling 3 times, and no answer,  I also think he "rejected" a call, LOL.  For a while we spoke a lot every day.

Sad story. :(

What is the deal, please let me know?
Am I a "nutcase?"  I don't think I did or said anything to merit silence from him.  I thought we got along very well, and made each other laugh.
I hate losing friends especially when I have no idea what has led to the current situation. :(

If there is something wrong that I did or said, or if I myself have something wrong with me, I'd like to know so that I can correct it, or if it is something about me which I can not change, at least I'll have the peace of mind of knowing.

Any ideas?  Suggestions?
I got the picture that he doesn't want to talk to me, so I will stop but just would like to know why  :'(

Thank you.
aka Someone Else

Offline ProudAndZionist

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2009, 03:16:40 AM »
He was not real friend, but I am sure you have great friends, and I will be always with You, don't be sad please. He lost a great girl, but You didn't lose.
We are giants, giants in love...and if you ask that who are we, then you must be a dwarf.

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2009, 03:23:08 AM »
He was not real friend, but I am sure you have great friends, and I will be always with You, don't be sad please. He lost a great girl, but You didn't lose.

I considered him a real friend, :( a close friend.
aka Someone Else

Offline SavetheWest

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2009, 03:45:05 AM »
Did you say something to him?  Could he have taken something the wrong way?  Does he maybe have a new job or girlfriend?

Offline Ulli

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2009, 03:54:45 AM »
Xoce, perhaps it has nothing to do with you.

I have rejected phonecalls some day, specially at holidays, and refused to answer the phone. Just as the phone rang, I feeled such an anthipathy against the ringing phone I couldn't answer it. I only wanted to be this day for myself.

So perhaps it is nothing Xoce.  :)
"Cities run by progressives don't know how to police. ... Thirty cities went up last night, I went and looked at every one of them. Every one of them has a progressive Democratic mayor." Rudolph Giuliani

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2009, 03:58:32 AM »
Did you say something to him?  Could he have taken something the wrong way?  Does he maybe have a new job or girlfriend?
Thank you SavetheWest.

I really don't think I said anything that would make him stop talking to me.  It is still a possibility, though.
Maybe he does have a new job and/or girlfriend.  If he has a new job, I would love to congratulate him.  Likewise with the girlfriend, and he and I were/are? friends (not boyfriend/girlfriend), so I don't think there would be a problem there.  If he has a girlfriend, he can tell me, right?
 ^-^  the worst thing I'd do is maybe tease him about getting a girlfriend, and I would understand that he would not have time/interest to call me as much/at all anymore.
aka Someone Else

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2009, 04:02:30 AM »
Xoce, perhaps it has nothing to do with you.

I have rejected phonecalls some day, specially at holidays, and refused to answer the phone. Just as the phone rang, I feeled such an anthipathy against the ringing phone I couldn't answer it. I only wanted to be this day for myself.

So perhaps it is nothing Xoce.  :)


Yes, but it has been longer than one week.  :(
I wish I could be hopeful.  He had become a dear friend to me, always making me laugh.

Thank you, Pheasant
aka Someone Else

Offline zachor_ve_kavod

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2009, 04:31:50 AM »
This has happened to me and I suspect that it happens to other people also.  It's upsetting but life continues.  The friends you will naturally keep over an extended period of time are the ones you were meant to be friends with.

But I understand it is upsetting.  My advice is be sincere and decent with the people in your life and those friends who stick with you are the ones that you want anyway.  And the ones that don't stick with you, you are probably better off.

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2009, 05:06:55 AM »
This has happened to me and I suspect that it happens to other people also.  It's upsetting but life continues.  The friends you will naturally keep over an extended period of time are the ones you were meant to be friends with.

But I understand it is upsetting.  My advice is be sincere and decent with the people in your life and those friends who stick with you are the ones that you want anyway.  And the ones that don't stick with you, you are probably better off.

Thank you, zachor_ve_kavod.  This has happened to me before, and baffles me.  Of course I can understand when there is a reason a friendship ends, but this type of thing bothers me soooo deeply, lol.
Well thank you for your advice.  It is so hard to find good people, for me at least, and once I think I've found a good friend that is on a similar wavelength ideologically and whose personality I like, I become so happy that it is painful to lose such a friend... and drives me insane (hence the term "nutcase") when there seems to be no reason for the friendship to fritter away.  Also, like I've said, it has happened before, and I let it happen, so if it's going to happen again (a good friendship ending) I am going to at least know why!!!

Blahhh but it is late, tomorrow is a new day...
aka Someone Else

Offline ✡ Hindu Zionist ॐ

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2009, 05:11:49 AM »
its 4 AM!! for G-d's sake get into your bed. I think you need to occupy your mind with something else, engage in some activity. Hopefully your friend would be back in few days. Or try getting back at him through a common freind?

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2009, 05:15:08 AM »
its 4 AM!! for G-d's sake get into your bed. I think you need to occupy your mind with something else, engage in some activity. Hopefully your friend would be back.

 :P  ;D
ok, just because you said so... :soldier:
Good night!  (morning)
aka Someone Else

Offline ✡ Hindu Zionist ॐ

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2009, 05:17:40 AM »
try getting to him through a common friend?

Offline ProudAndZionist

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2009, 07:03:00 AM »


Don't be sad. Kisses for You.  :dance:
We are giants, giants in love...and if you ask that who are we, then you must be a dwarf.

Offline mord

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2009, 07:14:27 AM »
Half my the phone calls i get are from people trying to sell me things i dread it.Sometimes i tell people i know to ring me 3x times and then call in order that i don't get annoying calls
Thy destroyers and they that make thee waste shall go forth of thee.  Isaiah 49:17

 
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Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2009, 07:34:14 AM »
Advice from a married man:  move on with your life and let it go
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

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Offline ProudAndZionist

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2009, 07:36:00 AM »
Advice from a married man:  move on with your life and let it go

Very true.
We are giants, giants in love...and if you ask that who are we, then you must be a dwarf.

Offline Lisa

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2009, 09:36:14 AM »
Sorry to hear this, Xoce. 

Do you have your friend's email address?  If so, perhaps you can write him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

Or maybe you could give it a few more days and snail mail him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

If you don't hear back from him, move on with your life.

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2009, 11:17:32 AM »
Half my the phone calls i get are from people trying to sell me things i dread it.Sometimes i tell people i know to ring me 3x times and then call in order that i don't get annoying calls

 :'(
Mord - I am not trying to sell anything!  And he of course knows it was me who called, and has my number to call me...
I hope he does not "dread" talking to me! :D
Well he returned my call finally, and (I thought) we had a nice normal chat.

BTW, he is such a loser, LOL but apparently I am an even worse loser, and a nutcase. :P
aka Someone Else

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2009, 11:23:43 AM »
try getting to him through a common friend?

Hmmm good idea! 8;)
Unfortunately, as of now we do not have any mutual friends.
aka Someone Else

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #19 on: April 22, 2009, 11:24:49 AM »
Advice from a married man:  move on with your life and let it go

 :o
Ouch.
aka Someone Else

Offline Xoce

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #20 on: April 22, 2009, 11:30:47 AM »
Sorry to hear this, Xoce. 

Do you have your friend's email address?  If so, perhaps you can write him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

Or maybe you could give it a few more days and snail mail him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

If you don't hear back from him, move on with your life.

Thank you Lisa,

I did send him a quick note.  Well, I will just chill out, it is not as if I don't have a million other things I really need to be doing, and have other people in my life.  I just really enjoy his company, LOL.
Obviously, the enjoyment was not mutual, or at the same level, LOL sad story.
 :throw:

Also, thanks ProudZionist for the kitten picture you posted.
aka Someone Else

Offline Adrian Wainer

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #21 on: April 22, 2009, 11:42:03 AM »
Sorry to hear this, Xoce. 

Do you have your friend's email address?  If so, perhaps you can write him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

Or maybe you could give it a few more days and snail mail him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

If you don't hear back from him, move on with your life.

Thank you Lisa,

I did send him a quick note.  Well, I will just chill out, it is not as if I don't have a million other things I really need to be doing, and have other people in my life.  I just really enjoy his company, LOL.
Obviously, the enjoyment was not mutual, or at the same level, LOL sad story.
 :throw:

Also, thanks ProudZionist for the kitten picture you posted.

A question for you, when you write stuff would you like people to read it?  If you would like people to read it, why do you stuff it with animated emoticons, as I think many people find it difficult to read text with lots of animated emoticons. Personally I will use an an emoticon once in about every three hundred posts or something like that. If it seems like I am trying to beat up on you I am not, you appear to have had some communications difficulties with some somebody, maybe if you could communicate more effectively with people, you might have less problems and a way to do that would be to use less emoticons.

Best and Warm Regards
Adrian Wainer

 
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Offline momofsixbabes

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #22 on: April 22, 2009, 03:22:16 PM »
My advice, or two bits:

   My heart hurts for you. It sounds like you have some strong heart ties to this young man. I would be careful what young man you surrender your heart to. Your heart is precious and should be treated and respected with care. Thus, I would get away from this relationship, and save your heart for your husband. Protect your heart for the one that deserves it.

   Also, I have learned that resting in knowing that G-d brings to us friends that are short term and friends that are long term. However, G-d desires for us to keep him first in our hearts. So, focus on Him. Pray and seek him so he can heal your heart.

Offline ~Hanna~

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #23 on: April 22, 2009, 03:40:04 PM »
Sorry to hear this, Xoce. 

Do you have your friend's email address?  If so, perhaps you can write him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

Or maybe you could give it a few more days and snail mail him a quick note asking if everything is OK. 

If you don't hear back from him, move on with your life.

Thank you Lisa,

I did send him a quick note.  Well, I will just chill out, it is not as if I don't have a million other things I really need to be doing, and have other people in my life.  I just really enjoy his company, LOL.
Obviously, the enjoyment was not mutual, or at the same level, LOL sad story.
 :throw:

Also, thanks ProudZionist for the kitten picture you posted.

A question for you, when you write stuff would you like people to read it?  If you would like people to read it, why do you stuff it with animated emoticons, as I think many people find it difficult to read text with lots of animated emoticons. Personally I will use an an emoticon once in about every three hundred posts or something like that. If it seems like I am trying to beat up on you I am not, you appear to have had some communications difficulties with some somebody, maybe if you could communicate more effectively with people, you might have less problems and a way to do that would be to use less emoticons.

Best and Warm Regards
Adrian Wainer

 


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Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: I need advice!! (sorry to bother you with my personal problems)
« Reply #24 on: April 22, 2009, 03:49:49 PM »
I promise you it won't matter in the long run. If he cares he'll contact you. If not at least you walked out with pride and self confidence instead of self pity and sorrow. It looks a lot sexier also
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein