This is a good article on Aish.com which is written by a woman who returned to Judaism and learned to love the mikvah...
http://www.aish.com/ci/w/48960916.html
Taking the Spiritual Dive
by Mindy McLeesMikvah for the thoroughly modern woman
I began my married life with a non-Jewish husband, an ambitious nature, a college degree, and a bit of an attitude. Sure, I was a spiritual person, although I couldn't define spirituality for you, except to say it was a character trait that you either had or didn't have. It was something you just felt. It meant being a good person and having the ability to empathize when something bad happened, the ability to make a nice toast at Thanksgiving, the ability to feel sad at a sad movie. That didn't have anything to do with G-d, right?
In his 30's my husband, a business executive, had a premature mid-life crisis. Unlike some men, my husband's crisis was one of faith and spirituality (there is that word again) and did not include a red sports car. My husband found Judaism and was searching a spiritual path that would eventually lead to a Conservative and then an Orthodox conversion.
In beginning my own spiritual quest, I found myself sitting unexpectedly with two women who were learning with an Orthodox rebbetzin about the Mikvah, the Jewish ritual bath. I was there by accident. I didn't pick the topic. At first, I really had no idea what we were learning. I liked the rebbetzin. Very quickly, I found l liked the women.
Like me, these women were not from religious backgrounds. They were smart and funny, and we laughed our way through this intimate class. We were discussing our spiritual love lives. It was not unlike an episode of a certain infamous TV show set in New York City. We were just four women talking. Sure, we were not drinking Cosmopolitans and we were sitting in a shul, but hey, we were being real and there were no cameras recording us.
JUST SAY NO
I was being introduced to an ancient approach to marital harmony -- a truly kosher approach to intimacy: the mitzvah of Taharat HaMishpacha or Family Purity. It wasn't at all what I thought. It didn't include any of the angry repressive ideas that I had heard about from my grandmother. It was a loving approach to intimacy that did not demean the participants or generate guilty feelings about our bodies. What a revelation.
Simply put, it's a system of some "no physical contact" days every month during the time a woman menstruates plus another seven days, followed by immersion in the waters of the mikvah. That means a minimum of 12 days without any touching. Oy. That's a long time. Why would a modern, married woman impose such a system on herself, not to mention her "happy-with-the-way-it-is-now" husband? Limiting physical intimacy, at first, seems counterproductive. How would it affect my marriage?
For several weeks, the four of us gathered in the shul to learn about the mitzvah. None of us had committed to actually going into the mikvah. I kept repeating that I was there just for the learning and the company, not for the how-to part. Um, I don't need this stuff thank you, but it started to sound good.
Then there was learning all the information about the mikvah dip itself. I went to see the mikvah in our community and it was beautiful. It wasn't like a black pit under the shul; it was like a women's spa.
The claim was that Taharat HaMishpacha did wonders in recapturing the magic of being newlyweds and maintaining freshness and romance in marriage. Eventually I was intrigued enough to decide to take the plunge.
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http://www.aish.com/ci/w/48960916.html