Is a conversion appropriate in this circumstance?

[rafeli18]

I'd just like to firstly say thank you to those who replied to my introductory thread. Like I mentioned my views haven't always been the same. Like many I genuinely believed that Israel was an evil state based on the coverage that news agencies like
the BBC wished to portray Israel as whilst in reality they were simply defending themselves from rocket attacks and suicide bombings like any other state would.I further believed in the liberal myth that the "nasty European Jews" had stolen Palestinian land however there was never a Palestinian State and there had always been a Jewish presence in the Holy Land. If I may endorse such a book it would have to be "The Case for Israel" by Alan Dershowitz who eloquently defends the right of Israel.

 I am 18 years old and currently live in London, England. My mother is a fairly irreligious Roman Catholic whilst my father is halachically Jewish(his mother was Jewish but converted) but is now a lapsed Catholic.I, for the record was baptised but have since become lapsed like my father.  Ever since the age of 13 I've been struck with a continuous form of spiritual and emotional void which I have desparately been trying to rid of. At first I simply dismissed it as nonsense and soon turned to atheism in the hope that I would forget my woes but this failed. I should perhaps add my older sister has always had a deep interest in Judaism and its cultural practises which eventually encouraged her to study Hebrew and Jewish Studies at university. Therefore, for a large part of my childhood I was surrounded by the works of Primo Levi, Chaim Potok and even classical scholars such as Philo. I feel it would be ridiculous to say this didn't at least have some impact upon me and indeed a book my sister recommended to me started to open my eyes." Essential Judaism" by George Robinson really fascinated me and helped me gain a clearer understanding of the religion and its long and unfortunately often tragic history. It seems the more I learn about Judaism, the lesser my spiritual problems are which may perhaps be perceived as a sign from G-D? I am also aware of the 7 Noahide laws and I try to abide by them but for me they're aren't fulfilling enough.Apologies If I have bored you with my predicament but what course of action would you perhaps advise?

Todah Raba

[Lisa]

Welcome to JTF. 

[Israel Chai]

I'd just like to firstly say thank you to those who replied to my introductory thread. Like I mentioned my views haven't always been the same. Like many I genuinely believed that Israel was an evil state based on the coverage that news agencies like
the BBC wished to portray Israel as whilst in reality they were simply defending themselves from rocket attacks and suicide bombings like any other state would.I further believed in the liberal myth that the "nasty European Jews" had stolen Palestinian land however there was never a Palestinian State and there had always been a Jewish presence in the Holy Land. If I may endorse such a book it would have to be "The Case for Israel" by Alan Dershowitz who eloquently defends the right of Israel.

 I am 18 years old and currently live in London, England. My mother is a fairly irreligious Roman Catholic whilst my father is halachically Jewish(his mother was Jewish but converted) but is now a lapsed Catholic.I, for the record was baptised but have since become lapsed like my father.  Ever since the age of 13 I've been struck with a continuous form of spiritual and emotional void which I have desparately been trying to rid of. At first I simply dismissed it as nonsense and soon turned to atheism in the hope that I would forget my woes but this failed. I should perhaps add my older sister has always had a deep interest in Judaism and its cultural practises which eventually encouraged her to study Hebrew and Jewish Studies at university. Therefore, for a large part of my childhood I was surrounded by the works of Primo Levi, Chaim Potok and even classical scholars such as Philo. I feel it would be ridiculous to say this didn't at least have some impact upon me and indeed a book my sister recommended to me started to open my eyes." Essential Judaism" by George Robinson really fascinated me and helped me gain a clearer understanding of the religion and its long and unfortunately often tragic history. It seems the more I learn about Judaism, the lesser my spiritual problems are which may perhaps be perceived as a sign from G-D? I am also aware of the 7 Noahide laws and I try to abide by them but for me they're aren't fulfilling enough.Apologies If I have bored you with my predicament but what course of action would you perhaps advise?

Todah Raba

Welcome. The Noahide laws sustain society, but it's not overwhelming in the way of spirituality. Talk to Muman for Judaism, or The Noahide for that. Any questions you have about life or the religion, they probably know.

[rafeli18]

Thanks. Would I be correct in assuming they're users here?

[Israel Chai]

Thanks. Would I be correct in assuming they're users here?

Yes, and apparently, others would be happy to talk to you as well.

[rafeli18]

Shalom Rafeli,

If you are asking whether you need to convert to Judaism based on your ethnic background, the answer would be yes if your mother is not Jewish.  One is only Jewish if their mother is Jewish or if they convert according to halacha. 

If you are asking whether you should convert to Judaism based on your spiritual level, the answer is that only you can determine that, but since I am going through a similar spiritual journey I can offer a little advice.  It is important that converts to Judaism not become "lapsed".  The idea is that converts to Judaism must be loyal Torah-observant Jews for life.  You are fairly young, and although you are welcome to convert, you may not be the exact same person in say 5 years that you are today.  One thing you may want to try is living awhile as a Noahide in order to work through any obstacles (intellectual, financial, family-related, etc.) that might prevent you from becoming a good Jew.  It would also be good to learn Hebrew.  In my case I decided I wanted to become Jewish in my early 20's but won't be actually doing it until my mid-30's, and I'm glad I didn't convert earlier.  I have also learned Hebrew.  If you feel like you are ready, the next step would be to contact an Orthodox Beit Din that is officially recognized (including in Israel) to perform conversions, and they will fix you up with an appropriate rabbi to teach you how to become Jewish.  I am not sure who a good British point of contact is for this, but I can give you the list of American and Canadian Batei Din and hopefully they can point you in the right direction:

http://www.judaismconversion.org/batei.din.html

Yes, my paternal grandmother was jewish until she converted whilst my grandfather is supposedly descended from Italian conversos.
Of course circumstances will change and I agree with you on this.For the time being you're right it would be wiser to perhaps explore more of the tents of Judaism whilst adhering to the 7 Noahide laws and after a while I'll see how things turn out. Regarding learning Hebrew when my sister comes back from her study leave she's apparently more than happy to give me some introductory lessons in the language since she herself is a fluent speaker.After having researched somewhat the different branches of Judaism would I be correct in stating that Reform Judaism is marginalised as being too deviant from the core teachings of Judaism? I'm aware of certain clauses within the movement that for example make belief in God optional.Thanks for the link you posted it had some interesting information.
Rafeli

[rafeli18]

That explains why Israel therefore doesn't recognise reform conversions as a basis for marriage.Oh, I did a quick search and there are 2 synagogues in my area(1 Orthodox and 1 Liberal) but they don't really provide much information regarding conversions. Would I be impertinent of me to ask what your feelings were when you embraced Judaism?

[rafeli18]

Could you perhaps elaborate on certain aspects? So I gather this would mean some wouldn't convert me. For me Judaism largely offers spiritual and emotional nourishment if that makes sense at all. I'm much more moved by Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his own son for G-d than the Christian idea of vicarious redemption amongst the microcosm of strength in times of weakness as shown by David's victory over Goliath..I also admire the strong communal spirit that the Jewish community have for each other in that they're willing to support each other even in the most adverse conditions as we have witnessed. Their resilience is surely an admirable trait. I myself come from a diverse ethnic background whose reputation for togetherness is rampant( Italian, Chinese and Japanese) but for me it just doesn't feel the same.

[rafeli18]

Oh ok thanks, I just looked them up and there are some centres that are not too far from me so I may ask them for some more information if I hopefully decide to change my life for the better. If memory serves they'll reject me 3 times?

[rafeli18]

Beth Din is the official authority I gather. I've read Essential Judaism as well as A guide to Kabbalah, both of which made some references to conversion however would you recommend any books that primarily focus on converting?

[rafeli18]

Thanks, I appreciate your advice and hopefully things will change for the better.
Asides from the aftermath of converting, how did you find the actual course of conversion? It's undoubtedly a very hard process that requires sincerity and determination. I'm willing to devote any amount of effort if the occasion ever arises.

[Israel Chai]

Thanks, I appreciate your advice and hopefully things will change for the better.
Asides from the aftermath of converting, how did you find the actual course of conversion? It's undoubtedly a very hard process that requires sincerity and determination. I'm willing to devote any amount of effort if the occasion ever arises.

I was born Jewish but I never knew anything about Judaism until I found JTF, so I can say, it's definitely a pleasure for me to read ideas from Torah and then commentaries from 5-20 rabbis on it that contradict or are on other levels, and then decide which ones I believe and try to develop a real understanding on why those words were put there and how they tell me to live more freely through morality, and do good for the Jewish people and their mission to make the world a better place and merit the coming of the Moshiah.

Someone link her to What does it mean to be Jewish by Rabbi Meir Kahane on youtube or his Mantle of heaven. Those are really what made me want to look further, and the more you do, the more you more you feel obligated to do many time-consuming things, and the more you wonder how you did more than half of anything right without it.

[Sveta]

Welcome Rafeli. You will find that a lot of people here will love to help you.

You are young and on your way to a great  journey! About conversion, it is hard but there are many people who do complete the program. Naturally, a Rabbi will have to tell you about the possibility of remaining a Noahide. And you must keep an open mind of entertain the idea of remaining a Noahide. But if your soul yearns for more and if you persist and if the rabbis see that you persist, then they will help you become Jewish.

What you must do, if you don't do so already, is pray a lot. Every day. Morning and night. Place all your faith on Hashem, that He may give you what you need. I think a good book I can recommend is The Garden of Emuna, by Rabbi Shalom Arush. You must build on strengthening your your Emuna.
Obviously, study the Torah (even write down questions for when you are assigned a teacher by the Beis Din). Study the 613 mitzvot. And you will also have to experience the Jewish Holidays, to know their meanings, their observance and history.

I think a great way to learn about the 613 mitzvot is the 24 part lecture series by Rabbi Mizrachi on his website. Where he talks about all the mitzvot one by one.  http://www.divineinformation.com/category/the-613-commandments-series/

What I will also recommend is that you start to give tzedakah to any organization you want.

The list goes on. I think you are in the right place to get help.

[Sveta]

I forgot to mention...

The conversion process could be a year or two. More or less, depending on your knowledge. So that is why it is better to build yourself up now and pray a lot (and give to charity) so that when you do meet with the Beis Din, Hashem will help you when meeting with them.

You also have to start becoming part of the Jewish community. Even if it is not a community that does conversions, at least start to become part of them. Go to the events, go to the services. Chabad is usually good for this, maybe they won't help you for the conversion but at least it is good to be part of their events so that when you do go to a Beis Din, they will be able to see that you have indeed been part of a Jewish community. They could be your reference as proof to a Beis Din that you have been part. Also, if you go to Chabad services, they do not charge you for a seat. And you could go for the High Holidays.

Lastly, save up money because you will have to move to a Jewish community. Eventually. Maybe you can find yourself a Jewish roomate and share a place that keeps a kosher kitchen. And is within walking distance of an Orthodox shul. Otherwise, no Beis Din will be able to convert you if you do not have a kosher kitchen and live close to a shul.

Also, note that your family will stop being your family. They will always be your blood relatives and will owe them your love and respect, but your new family will be your fellow Jews and your father and mother will be Avraham Avinu and Sarah Imanu.

[rafeli18]

Thank you for your detailed and quite moving response. You mentioned joining a Jewish community a few days ago I signed up for the Israeli organisation Standwithus. Would the Beis Din consider this relevant as it involves different religions rather than having a primary Jewish focus.Also regarding your second main point though there are 2 synagogues within my area they're quite far. It would probably take me around 45 mins to reach the Orthodox one so this may become an issue. So would it therefore be advisable to perhaps keep looking for other areas whilst I'm at university? I'm quite interested in quite esoteric forms of Judaism such as Kabbalah. In fact wearing it around my wrist seemed to give me a lot of fortune when I was doing my exams which is part of the reason I started to believe in Hashem.
This site is really informative and quite helpful as you said

[Ephraim Ben Noach]

Thanks. Would I be correct in assuming they're users here?

I quite stupid, what do you mean by "users"?

[rafeli18]

I quite stupid, what do you mean by "users"?

Sorry, it's an english term for someone who has an account

[Ephraim Ben Noach]

Sorry, it's an english term for someone who has an account

You mean like this... http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usury

[rafeli18]

No of course not!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_(computing)
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/computer+user

[Sveta]

Thank you for your detailed and quite moving response. You mentioned joining a Jewish community a few days ago I signed up for the Israeli organisation Standwithus. Would the Beis Din consider this relevant as it involves different religions rather than having a primary Jewish focus.Also regarding your second main point though there are 2 synagogues within my area they're quite far. It would probably take me around 45 mins to reach the Orthodox one so this may become an issue. So would it therefore be advisable to perhaps keep looking for other areas whilst I'm at university? I'm quite interested in quite esoteric forms of Judaism such as Kabbalah. In fact wearing it around my wrist seemed to give me a lot of fortune when I was doing my exams which is part of the reason I started to believe in Hashem.
This site is really informative and quite helpful as you said

They may take into account the fact that you want to take up the Jewish cause. They would be more interested, however, in knowing that you have Jewish friends and living IN a Jewish community. Are you female? If so, get female Jewish friends. I do suggest you start looking to moving where you can move to, that would be a Jewish community, where you could walk to shul.

Also, I understand that people would be interested in the Kabbalah but let us keep in mind that the sages who studied it were Torah scholars who had a deep level of understanding of Judaism before they even started to study the kabbalah. If one does not have a deep level of understanding of the Torah and concepts of Judaism, they may be left confused by the words of the Kabbalah. And that is how you get Hollywood type of people who think they study "kabbalah" like Madonna etc.. But actually, they really do not know the gist of it.

[rafeli18]

I'm an 18 year old male. Like I mentioned in my earlier posts my father is halachically Jewish since his mother was jewish but she converted to Catholicism. Some people at my school are Jewish and I sometimes speak to them but I have a feelin they're not really religious.On the other hand my sister studied Hebrew and Politics so a lot of her friends are Jewish.
I have heard about Madonna and her mad escapades. Coorect me if I'm wrong but is kabbalah only a small part of the yeshiva lifestlye anyway? So, my main focus must be on judaism as a whole.

[Ephraim Ben Noach]

I'm an 18 year old male. Like I mentioned in my earlier posts my father is halachically Jewish since his mother was jewish but she converted to Catholicism. Some people at my school are Jewish and I sometimes speak to them but I have a feelin they're not really religious.On the other hand my sister studied Hebrew and Politics so a lot of her friends are Jewish.
I have heard about Madonna and her mad escapades. Coorect me if I'm wrong but is kabbalah only a small part of the yeshiva lifestlye anyway? So, my main focus must be on judaism as a whole.

Yes, Kabbalah is an in depth study, after you have learned and live a Torah life... And a lot of the fakes look at kabbalah as way to gain more in their own selfish ways, they don't care about HaShem, they care about themselves! They might as well study witchcraft!

[rafeli18]

What is passed off as kabbalah today is not really kabbalah, even in religious circles.  The focus should be on learning Torah and the commandments, especially for beginners.

That seems like a quite a wise thing to do to prevent people from deviating and focusing on smaller matters.

[rafeli18]

Yes, Kabbalah is an in depth study, after you have learned and live a Torah life... And a lot of the fakes look at kabbalah as way to gain more in their own selfish ways, they don't care about HaShem, they care about themselves! They might as well study witchcraft!

Are people really that opportunistic when it comes to matters of G-d and religion?

[Ephraim Ben Noach]

Are people really that opportunistic when it comes to matters of G-d and religion?

Heck yeah! Look at all the people that get rich from teaching and preaching their own version of the Bible... THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT G-D THEY CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES!