Author Topic: 13 y/o gay kid kills self  (Read 24517 times)

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Offline JTFenthusiast2

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #100 on: October 05, 2010, 06:55:18 PM »
So wait, it's OK to suggest bullying/persecuting/attacking homosexuals only if you know they've committed the gay sex acts?

I would have nothing against rebuking homosexuality...Physically harming someone is another story.  Verbally assaulting? Well, if he is pro=gay in your face, then he/she should be verbally assaulted and bullied verbally...

Dr. Dan, let's keep it straight so to speak.  That is not what this is about.  This boy is not responsible for what someone else is possibly going to turn this into.  This is about two creeps doing something really creepy and showcasing it for thousands without regard for this person's humanity, never mind legal rights

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #101 on: October 05, 2010, 07:03:54 PM »

The thing those two did to clemente was far worse than the homosexual act itself. And that homosexual act even though horrible was intended for no one else to see.


So wait, it's OK to suggest bullying/persecuting/attacking homosexuals only if you know they've committed the gay sex acts?

I would have nothing against rebuking homosexuality...Physically harming someone is another story.  Verbally assaulting? Well, if he is pro=gay in your face, then he/she should be verbally assaulted and bullied verbally...

Dr. Dan, let's keep it straight so to speak.  That is not what this is about.  This boy is not responsible for what someone else is possibly going to turn this into.  This is about two creeps doing something really creepy and showcasing it for thousands without regard for this person's humanity, never mind legal rights
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Offline Chaim Ben Pesach

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #102 on: October 05, 2010, 07:07:37 PM »
בס''ד

1. As I said in response to a question on Ask JTF, what was done to the 18 year old was illegal and immoral. That case was also a tragedy.

2. Ron thought that this was a case of someone openly engaging in homosexual activity and openly pursuing the militant homosexual agenda. There is a big difference between that situation and the two cases which we are speaking about. People who have homosexual tendencies should be assisted compassionately to overcome their problem. But those who openly and proudly engage in acts of sodomy and demand acceptance by society do not deserve to be treated like heroes. They are spreading death and evil in the world. These individuals should be condemned.

3. Although these two suicides were tragic, why do they deserve more attention from the news media than the cold-blooded murder every year of tens of thousands of Americans by mostly black criminals? Or the violent rape of millions of American women by mostly black rapists? The "political correctness" in deciding what to place on the front page is grotesque.

Offline JTFenthusiast2

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #103 on: October 05, 2010, 07:24:50 PM »
בס''ד

1. As I said in response to a question on Ask JTF, what was done to the 18 year old was illegal and immoral. That case was also a tragedy.

2. Ron thought that this was a case of someone openly engaging in homosexual activity and openly pursuing the militant homosexual agenda. There is a big difference between that situation and the two cases which we are speaking about. People who have homosexual tendencies should be assisted compassionately to overcome their problem. But those who openly and proudly engage in acts of sodomy and demand acceptance by society do not deserve to be treated like heroes. They are spreading death and evil in the world. These individuals should be condemned.

3. Although these two suicides were tragic, why do they deserve more attention from the news media than the cold-blooded murder every year of tens of thousands of Americans by mostly black criminals? Or the violent rape of millions of American women by mostly black rapists? The "political correctness" in deciding what to place on the front page is grotesque.

Chaim,

I want to be very specific.  I am absolutely not trying to impress upon anyone that a double standard is in order--ever. This is about  about man's decency to man and the complete lack of it that is everywhere in all the things we discuss on this forum


Dr. Dan,

Thanks for the clarifying point.  I should have been clearer I was not speaking about what you wrote except in that one instance where I said your name.  I appologize for any confusion caused by my not being clear

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #104 on: October 05, 2010, 08:49:37 PM »
JTFe - I realize now that perhaps my quip was not understood. 

"Spoken like a true Israeli" was not a compliment...   I'm saying the attitude reflects the bolshevik and leftist influences that permeate Israel...

Are you calling me a Nazi Communist? 

No, but I think your attitude about bullying people in school reflects the fascist-Israeli-left mindset.   And I don't mean that as a personal insult, but you should be wary that they don't influence you with their garbage and attitudes.   It can easily happen if we're not on guard always.

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #105 on: October 05, 2010, 08:50:23 PM »
At the age of 10, I knew I was straight since I was attracted to girls, and I never felt it was a choice.

At that age, girls gave me cooties. 

:::D

Offline Ari Ben-Canaan

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #106 on: October 05, 2010, 10:33:29 PM »
The kid was barely old enough to be a Bar Mitzvah [where a child becomes responsible for his own actions]; it is a travesty this happened.
"You must keep the arab under your boot or he will be at your throat" -Unknown

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Offline Rubystars

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #107 on: October 06, 2010, 06:18:39 AM »
I do think that if someone is driven to suicide, no matter who they are, then they deserve compassion. Part of the reason this kid was bullied was not just the gay thing, but because his family had a different non-majority religion. If you can't see the correlation there Ron, then I can't help you.

I'm going to start ignoring you again because that last post you made to me was just so shrill and silly that I really don't think it's worth my time to explain myself to you anymore.

Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #108 on: October 06, 2010, 06:28:42 PM »
בס''ד

1. As I said in response to a question on Ask JTF, what was done to the 18 year old was illegal and immoral. That case was also a tragedy.

2. Ron thought that this was a case of someone openly engaging in homosexual activity and openly pursuing the militant homosexual agenda. There is a big difference between that situation and the two cases which we are speaking about. People who have homosexual tendencies should be assisted compassionately to overcome their problem. But those who openly and proudly engage in acts of sodomy and demand acceptance by society do not deserve to be treated like heroes. They are spreading death and evil in the world. These individuals should be condemned.

3. Although these two suicides were tragic, why do they deserve more attention from the news media than the cold-blooded murder every year of tens of thousands of Americans by mostly black criminals? Or the violent rape of millions of American women by mostly black rapists? The "political correctness" in deciding what to place on the front page is grotesque.
Good responses as always but three forum members are out of control right now. It's time to do something about it.

Offline Daniel

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #109 on: October 06, 2010, 09:01:30 PM »
בס''ד

1. As I said in response to a question on Ask JTF, what was done to the 18 year old was illegal and immoral. That case was also a tragedy.

2. Ron thought that this was a case of someone openly engaging in homosexual activity and openly pursuing the militant homosexual agenda. There is a big difference between that situation and the two cases which we are speaking about. People who have homosexual tendencies should be assisted compassionately to overcome their problem. But those who openly and proudly engage in acts of sodomy and demand acceptance by society do not deserve to be treated like heroes. They are spreading death and evil in the world. These individuals should be condemned.

3. Although these two suicides were tragic, why do they deserve more attention from the news media than the cold-blooded murder every year of tens of thousands of Americans by mostly black criminals? Or the violent rape of millions of American women by mostly black rapists? The "political correctness" in deciding what to place on the front page is grotesque.
Good responses as always but three forum members are out of control right now. It's time to do something about it.

Am I one of them?

Offline Daniel

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #110 on: October 06, 2010, 09:15:36 PM »
בס''ד

1. The death of a 13 year old child is a tragedy. Bullying a 13 year old should be unacceptable in any school.

2. If a 13 year old child feels that he has homosexual tendencies, G-d forbid, the proper reaction is to compassionately refer the child to an expert who can help him overcome this problem. The child will never be happy in this world, and will have no place in the next world, if he becomes an active homosexual, G-d forbid. Therefore, it is incumbent upon those who care for the child to try to help him overcome this difficulty. Some homosexuals can be cured. Those who cannot be cured must learn to live without homosexual sex, just as many married people feel an urge to commit adultery but they learn to avoid giving in to that evil urge.

3. Ron Ben Michael mistakenly thought that this was an active homosexual who was caught committing homosexual acts. Ron would not have written like this if he had known the details of this case. Ron is not a cruel or mindless person. He is a very kind and just human being who mistakenly thought that this was a completely different case.



I'm happy to see you responding to this in a relatively more compassionate manner. I'm curious to know what type of "expert" the child could be referred to to overcome this problem? If you're referring to psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists, etc., they will not view homosexuality as a mental disorder. There is nowhere in the DSM-IV that classifies homosexuality as a disorder. So then what experts do we refer them to?

I don't completely agree that a homosexual resisting engaging in homosexual sex is the same thing as a married person who is tempted to commit adultry. A heterosexual person in a marriage who is tempted to cheat is still getting some sort of pleasure from his/her spouse, but just wants and desires more. If someone is homosexual and they are in a heterosexual relationship or marriage, they are not getting any of their desires met.

On the one hand, we accuse homosexuals of leading a disgusting lifestyle. But on the other hand, if the homosexual attempts to do the right thing by marrying someone of the opposite sex and creating children and a family, it will eventually lead that person eventually having to come to terms and be honest with himself and his partner and end up getting into a divorce. At that point, we'll accuse homosexuals of breaking up the family unit. So we end up accusing them on both ends. If they follow their desires, they're leading a disgusting and immoral lifestyle. If they deny their true feelings and try to do the right thing by engaging in a heterosexual relationship which ultimately fails, we accuse them of breaking up the family unit. So then what is the solution then? A "one-day-at-a-time" approach simply curtails the behavior. But it does not stop the heart from desiring what it desires.

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #111 on: October 06, 2010, 09:28:28 PM »

I'm happy to see you responding to this in a relatively more compassionate manner. I'm curious to know what type of "expert" the child could be referred to to overcome this problem? If you're referring to psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists, etc., they will not view homosexuality as a mental disorder. There is nowhere in the DSM-IV that classifies homosexuality as a disorder. So then what experts do we refer them to?

I don't completely agree that a homosexual resisting engaging in homosexual sex is the same thing as a married person who is tempted to commit adultry. A heterosexual person in a marriage who is tempted to cheat is still getting some sort of pleasure from his/her spouse, but just wants and desires more. If someone is homosexual and they are in a heterosexual relationship or marriage, they are not getting any of their desires met.

On the one hand, we accuse homosexuals of leading a disgusting lifestyle. But on the other hand, if the homosexual attempts to do the right thing by marrying someone of the opposite sex and creating children and a family, it will eventually lead that person eventually having to come to terms and be honest with himself and his partner and end up getting into a divorce. At that point, we'll accuse homosexuals of breaking up the family unit. So we end up accusing them on both ends. If they follow their desires, they're leading a disgusting and immoral lifestyle. If they deny their true feelings and try to do the right thing by engaging in a heterosexual relationship which ultimately fails, we accuse them of breaking up the family unit. So then what is the solution then? A "one-day-at-a-time" approach simply curtails the behavior. But it does not stop the heart from desiring what it desires.

If a man is attracted to men and he's actually disgusted by women and not attracted to women sexually at all, I don't think it would be a good idea to encourage such a person to enter into a relationship with a woman where is he faking that he loves her.   Wouldn't it be wise for that person to stay single?

Offline MassuhDGoodName

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #112 on: October 07, 2010, 03:39:47 AM »
Re:  "I don't think it would be a good idea to encourage such a person to enter into a relationship with a woman where is he faking that he loves her.   Wouldn't it be wise for that person to stay single? "

NO.

Because she might have a lot of money from an inheritance or from alimony and child support payments.

And even a homo needs a wife to clean his house, cook his meals, wash his clothes, nurse him when he gets sick, and drive him to his various appointments in his schedule book.

And in a normal Jewish marriage, the wife stops having sex immediately after the honeymoon is finished, which causes all kinds of problem with normal male "needs".

Much better if such a shrew has a "gay" husband, because then she won't always be pressured to "give it up", and he won't even care about having sex with her anyway.

And it is well known that a married Jewish couple is headed for trouble every time the wife's mother is around because all she is going to do is psychologically berate and emasculate her son-in-law and treat him like he's "half a man" and "not good enough for her daughter"!

By being a queer to start with, he's already "half a man" and he's always known that "he's not good enough" to please his Mother-in-law, so his Mother-in-law won't have any effect on him and won't be able to create friction in the marriage!

So, in other words, a queer has a much better chance to find true Jewish marital bliss!

;D

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #113 on: October 07, 2010, 04:02:32 AM »
Oh Daniel you silly goose. It's not about encouraging a homosexual to pretend to ne heterosexual or forcing him into a fake marriage. The desire or the urge of a man to be with the another man isn't the problem. To make a homo into a hetero is up to the homosexual if he chooses and is capable of it. It's the behavior of a man lying with another man which is the problem and that alone should first be discouraged. Not the homosexual feeling.

And I disagree the desire for men wanting sex out of marriage or to be with lots if women is the same sin with similar ramifications.

Sex outside of marriage is a sin hetero or homo.

Homosexuals have a special situation because they may have to end up with nobody. They deserve extra compassion and bullying one who has been celibate one is like putting a stumbling block in front of a blind person.







בס''ד

1. The death of a 13 year old child is a tragedy. Bullying a 13 year old should be unacceptable in any school.

2. If a 13 year old child feels that he has homosexual tendencies, G-d forbid, the proper reaction is to compassionately refer the child to an expert who can help him overcome this problem. The child will never be happy in this world, and will have no place in the next world, if he becomes an active homosexual, G-d forbid. Therefore, it is incumbent upon those who care for the child to try to help him overcome this difficulty. Some homosexuals can be cured. Those who cannot be cured must learn to live without homosexual sex, just as many married people feel an urge to commit adultery but they learn to avoid giving in to that evil urge.

3. Ron Ben Michael mistakenly thought that this was an active homosexual who was caught committing homosexual acts. Ron would not have written like this if he had known the details of this case. Ron is not a cruel or mindless person. He is a very kind and just human being who mistakenly thought that this was a completely different case.



I'm happy to see you responding to this in a relatively more compassionate manner. I'm curious to know what type of "expert" the child could be referred to to overcome this problem? If you're referring to psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists, etc., they will not view homosexuality as a mental disorder. There is nowhere in the DSM-IV that classifies homosexuality as a disorder. So then what experts do we refer them to?

I don't completely agree that a homosexual resisting engaging in homosexual sex is the same thing as a married person who is tempted to commit adultry. A heterosexual person in a marriage who is tempted to cheat is still getting some sort of pleasure from his/her spouse, but just wants and desires more. If someone is homosexual and they are in a heterosexual relationship or marriage, they are not getting any of their desires met.

On the one hand, we accuse homosexuals of leading a disgusting lifestyle. But on the other hand, if the homosexual attempts to do the right thing by marrying someone of the opposite sex and creating children and a family, it will eventually lead that person eventually having to come to terms and be honest with himself and his partner and end up getting into a divorce. At that point, we'll accuse homosexuals of breaking up the family unit. So we end up accusing them on both ends. If they follow their desires, they're leading a disgusting and immoral lifestyle. If they deny their true feelings and try to do the right thing by engaging in a heterosexual relationship which ultimately fails, we accuse them of breaking up the family unit. So then what is the solution then? A "one-day-at-a-time" approach simply curtails the behavior. But it does not stop the heart from desiring what it desires.
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

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Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #114 on: October 07, 2010, 08:35:36 AM »
Am I one of them?
Would you like to be?

Offline Daniel

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #115 on: October 07, 2010, 11:06:33 AM »

I'm happy to see you responding to this in a relatively more compassionate manner. I'm curious to know what type of "expert" the child could be referred to to overcome this problem? If you're referring to psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists, etc., they will not view homosexuality as a mental disorder. There is nowhere in the DSM-IV that classifies homosexuality as a disorder. So then what experts do we refer them to?

I don't completely agree that a homosexual resisting engaging in homosexual sex is the same thing as a married person who is tempted to commit adultry. A heterosexual person in a marriage who is tempted to cheat is still getting some sort of pleasure from his/her spouse, but just wants and desires more. If someone is homosexual and they are in a heterosexual relationship or marriage, they are not getting any of their desires met.

On the one hand, we accuse homosexuals of leading a disgusting lifestyle. But on the other hand, if the homosexual attempts to do the right thing by marrying someone of the opposite sex and creating children and a family, it will eventually lead that person eventually having to come to terms and be honest with himself and his partner and end up getting into a divorce. At that point, we'll accuse homosexuals of breaking up the family unit. So we end up accusing them on both ends. If they follow their desires, they're leading a disgusting and immoral lifestyle. If they deny their true feelings and try to do the right thing by engaging in a heterosexual relationship which ultimately fails, we accuse them of breaking up the family unit. So then what is the solution then? A "one-day-at-a-time" approach simply curtails the behavior. But it does not stop the heart from desiring what it desires.

If a man is attracted to men and he's actually disgusted by women and not attracted to women sexually at all, I don't think it would be a good idea to encourage such a person to enter into a relationship with a woman where is he faking that he loves her.   Wouldn't it be wise for that person to stay single?

So your solution is that homosexuals should just stay single for the rest of their lives? I won't comment on how "wise" that would be. But it's definitely not realistic. What you're proposing is that all homosexuals remain celebate for their entire lives. That's never gonna happen. The only viable solution that I see is for us to ask ourselves how the behavior of what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom affect my quality of life?

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #116 on: October 07, 2010, 11:44:43 AM »

No.  My proposal is that every person has free will to choose good from evil. Gd handles the rest.
We in life have to do the best we can to encourage righteousness. Not to encourage evil behavior.

A homosexual has free will. I would be doing a disservice to society myself and Gd if I didn't discourage the behavio




I'm happy to see you responding to this in a relatively more compassionate manner. I'm curious to know what type of "expert" the child could be referred to to overcome this problem? If you're referring to psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists, etc., they will not view homosexuality as a mental disorder. There is nowhere in the DSM-IV that classifies homosexuality as a disorder. So then what experts do we refer them to?

I don't completely agree that a homosexual resisting engaging in homosexual sex is the same thing as a married person who is tempted to commit adultry. A heterosexual person in a marriage who is tempted to cheat is still getting some sort of pleasure from his/her spouse, but just wants and desires more. If someone is homosexual and they are in a heterosexual relationship or marriage, they are not getting any of their desires met.

On the one hand, we accuse homosexuals of leading a disgusting lifestyle. But on the other hand, if the homosexual attempts to do the right thing by marrying someone of the opposite sex and creating children and a family, it will eventually lead that person eventually having to come to terms and be honest with himself and his partner and end up getting into a divorce. At that point, we'll accuse homosexuals of breaking up the family unit. So we end up accusing them on both ends. If they follow their desires, they're leading a disgusting and immoral lifestyle. If they deny their true feelings and try to do the right thing by engaging in a heterosexual relationship which ultimately fails, we accuse them of breaking up the family unit. So then what is the solution then? A "one-day-at-a-time" approach simply curtails the behavior. But it does not stop the heart from desiring what it desires.

If a man is attracted to men and he's actually disgusted by women and not attracted to women sexually at all, I don't think it would be a good idea to encourage such a person to enter into a relationship with a woman where is he faking that he loves her.   Wouldn't it be wise for that person to stay single?

So your solution is that homosexuals should just stay single for the rest of their lives? I won't comment on how "wise" that would be. But it's definitely not realistic. What you're proposing is that all homosexuals remain celebate for their entire lives. That's never gonna happen. The only viable solution that I see is for us to ask ourselves how the behavior of what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom affect my quality of life?
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

Offline Daniel

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #117 on: October 07, 2010, 12:40:39 PM »
Am I one of them?
Would you like to be?

Sure! Why not? I need to get a hard slap on my left butt cheek by your right hand  ;D

Offline muman613

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #118 on: October 07, 2010, 12:47:51 PM »
Am I one of them?
Would you like to be?

Sure! Why not? I need to get a hard slap on my left butt cheek by your right hand  ;D

Are you trying to act gay here?

You shall make yourself the Festival of Sukkoth for seven days, when you gather in [the produce] from your threshing floor and your vat.And you shall rejoice in your Festival-you, and your son, and your daughter, and your manservant, and your maidservant, and the Levite, and the stranger, and the orphan, and the widow, who are within your cities
Duet 16:13-14

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #119 on: October 07, 2010, 01:10:44 PM »

I'm happy to see you responding to this in a relatively more compassionate manner. I'm curious to know what type of "expert" the child could be referred to to overcome this problem? If you're referring to psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists, etc., they will not view homosexuality as a mental disorder. There is nowhere in the DSM-IV that classifies homosexuality as a disorder. So then what experts do we refer them to?

I don't completely agree that a homosexual resisting engaging in homosexual sex is the same thing as a married person who is tempted to commit adultry. A heterosexual person in a marriage who is tempted to cheat is still getting some sort of pleasure from his/her spouse, but just wants and desires more. If someone is homosexual and they are in a heterosexual relationship or marriage, they are not getting any of their desires met.

On the one hand, we accuse homosexuals of leading a disgusting lifestyle. But on the other hand, if the homosexual attempts to do the right thing by marrying someone of the opposite sex and creating children and a family, it will eventually lead that person eventually having to come to terms and be honest with himself and his partner and end up getting into a divorce. At that point, we'll accuse homosexuals of breaking up the family unit. So we end up accusing them on both ends. If they follow their desires, they're leading a disgusting and immoral lifestyle. If they deny their true feelings and try to do the right thing by engaging in a heterosexual relationship which ultimately fails, we accuse them of breaking up the family unit. So then what is the solution then? A "one-day-at-a-time" approach simply curtails the behavior. But it does not stop the heart from desiring what it desires.

If a man is attracted to men and he's actually disgusted by women and not attracted to women sexually at all, I don't think it would be a good idea to encourage such a person to enter into a relationship with a woman where is he faking that he loves her.   Wouldn't it be wise for that person to stay single?

So your solution is that homosexuals should just stay single for the rest of their lives? I won't comment on how "wise" that would be. But it's definitely not realistic. What you're proposing is that all homosexuals remain celebate for their entire lives. That's never gonna happen. The only viable solution that I see is for us to ask ourselves how the behavior of what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom affect my quality of life?

Why shouldn't they stay single? 

You know there are men who never get married because they never find a wife or for other reasons, right?   And are they celibate all their lives?    Do they not struggle with urges as a single, sexually healthy, heterosexual man?    They sure do.  And I'm sure they don't succeed and pass every test.

But when the same-sex attracted man decides to live-in with his "partner" in a so-called "marriage" arrangement because he just can't live a life without unlimited sexual gratification at his every whim, he has basically given up the struggle and said that it doesn't matter what G-d says.

"The only viable solution that I see is for us to ask ourselves how the behavior of what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom affect my quality of life?"

They are prohibited from that behavior by G-d - It doesn't affect my quality of life but theirs!   Why should the degree to which it affects my quality of life be relevant to this discussion.

In Judaism this behavior is a sin.  Period.   It seems that you're coming from a place where you don't care what Judaism says.  So there is no way to have a commensurable conversation.   However, the Jewish community functions with adherence to our peculiar Jewish religion.

The phony reform "streams" have also decided it doesn't matter what G-d says (or they decided that G-d didn't say anything or that G-d doesn't exist) and they of course will sanction and allow any behavior if it is democratically popular enough.

Offline Daniel

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #120 on: October 07, 2010, 02:15:09 PM »
Am I one of them?
Would you like to be?

Sure! Why not? I need to get a hard slap on my left butt cheek by your right hand  ;D


Are you trying to act gay here?



No, my point in the joke was that I'm sitting too far on the left and I have to be smacked back into shape by the right.

Offline Daniel

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #121 on: October 07, 2010, 02:34:16 PM »
"You know there are men who never get married because they never find a wife or for other reasons, right?   And are they celibate all their lives?    Do they not struggle with urges as a single, sexually healthy, heterosexual man?    They sure do.  And I'm sure they don't succeed and pass every test."

Yes, and these single heterosexual men have sexual relations in their lives as well. Now, I'm sure you would consider this to be a sin, but my question is do you consider heterosexual sex outside of a marriage to be just as egregious as homosexual sex? If not, why so? Also, while we're on this topic, do you consider heterosexual oral and anal sex to be just as big of a sin as homosexual sex?

"But when the same-sex attracted man decides to live-in with his "partner" in a so-called "marriage" arrangement because he just can't live a life without unlimited sexual gratification at his every whim, he has basically given up the struggle and said that it doesn't matter what G-d says."

It sounds to me like you're promoting the false stereotype about gays in that their entire livelihoods revolve around sex. Nothing could be further from the truth. They're human beings just like us where sex only plays one part of their lives just like heterosexuals. Please forgive me if this is not what you said and if I misunderstood. But if I did understand you correctly, then you are absolutely wrong in this assertion!

"They are prohibited from that behavior by G-d - It doesn't affect my quality of life but theirs!"

Fine. Then let G-d be the judge and not us.

"Why should the degree to which it affects my quality of life be relevant to this discussion."

Because if something doesn't affect us personally and isn't doing harm to anyone else, then we should just live and let live and let G-d take care of the rest.

"In Judaism this behavior is a sin.  Period.   It seems that you're coming from a place where you don't care what Judaism says.  So there is no way to have a commensurable conversation.   However, the Jewish community functions with adherence to our peculiar Jewish religion."

This just proves the point of Sam Harris that G-d and religion are conversation stoppers. It doesn't matter what the rational merits and reasons of an argument or issue. If G-d says it, then there's no debate. It's the end of the conversation. Plain and simple. Such absolutistic dogma to live by! I, for one, don't believe that things in life are that simple. But that's a whole other issue for another discussion.


Offline Rubystars

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #122 on: October 07, 2010, 03:43:10 PM »
Am I one of them?
Would you like to be?

Sure! Why not? I need to get a hard slap on my left butt cheek by your right hand  ;D


Are you trying to act gay here?



No, my point in the joke was that I'm sitting too far on the left and I have to be smacked back into shape by the right.



Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #123 on: October 07, 2010, 03:58:48 PM »
"You know there are men who never get married because they never find a wife or for other reasons, right?   And are they celibate all their lives?    Do they not struggle with urges as a single, sexually healthy, heterosexual man?    They sure do.  And I'm sure they don't succeed and pass every test."

Yes, and these single heterosexual men have sexual relations in their lives as well.  

Some do and some don't.   But I JUST IMPLIED THAT!   (or that they do other things while alone).

I said:  
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Do they not struggle with urges as a single, sexually healthy, heterosexual man?    They sure do.  And I'm sure they don't succeed and pass every test."

Keep in mind, I'm referring to pious people that actually think they need to be married in order to have sexual relations with a wife.   They will struggle with this challenge their whole life.  People who don't think it's a problem or a sin or forbidden will act on their desires and don't struggle with anything except that they did not find a spouse to make a family with.

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Now, I'm sure you would consider this to be a sin, but my question is do you consider heterosexual sex outside of a marriage to be just as egregious as homosexual sex?

It is a sin.   It's not for me to judge what sins are worse than other sins.   All sins are supposed to be avoided and people are supposed to be discouraged from doing them.    However, it is a fact that G-d called homosexual sex an abomination.   Sorry if that bothers you, but that's the fact.  

That doesn't mean I'm going to encourage a single man to have sexual relations outside of marriage!   In fact, I implied the exact opposite with what I quoted above.

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If not, why so? Also, while we're on this topic, do you consider heterosexual oral and anal sex to be just as big of a sin as homosexual sex?  

With a wife?  NO!    It's not a sin at all from what I understand.   (I'm admittedly not an expert in this area of Torah, but I remember reading that the Talmud and/or the Rambam permit multiple kinds of relations with one's wife).


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"But when the same-sex attracted man decides to live-in with his "partner" in a so-called "marriage" arrangement because he just can't live a life without unlimited sexual gratification at his every whim, he has basically given up the struggle and said that it doesn't matter what G-d says."

It sounds to me like you're promoting the false stereotype about gays in that their entire livelihoods revolve around sex.  

Excuse me, but you were the one who promoted that because you implied that I was an evil dictator for suggesting that homosexual men stay single.    Can I ask you again to explain to me why that's a "wrong" suggestion?  

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Nothing could be further from the truth. They're human beings just like us  

Oh, put a sock in it with this ridiculous propaganda, I know they are humans and never suggested otherwise, this leftist zombie rhetoric you employ is incredibly irritating.  


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where sex only plays one part of their lives just like heterosexuals. Please forgive me if this is not what you said and if I misunderstood.

Ok, you're forgiven because you did misunderstand.

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"They are prohibited from that behavior by G-d - It doesn't affect my quality of life but theirs!"

Fine. Then let G-d be the judge and not us.

Indeed, but it is a sin for us to promote their behavior or tell them it is ok when it isn't!   And THAT does affect us.

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"Why should the degree to which it affects my quality of life be relevant to this discussion."

Because if something doesn't affect us personally and isn't doing harm to anyone else,
Logical fallacy - it is doing harm because encouraging a person to sin is a sin for us (and it harms the person being encouraged too).

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then we should just live and let live and let G-d take care of the rest.

There's a logic to this which I agree with.    Live and let live does not mean sanctioning unions of homosexual "partners" where the intention is to live together and have sex with one another in a loving relationship or putting female rabbis in kippas to sanction it.   (And that's what marriage does entail!)   It would mean staying the hell out of it.

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"In Judaism this behavior is a sin.  Period.   It seems that you're coming from a place where you don't care what Judaism says.  So there is no way to have a commensurable conversation.   However, the Jewish community functions with adherence to our peculiar Jewish religion."

This just proves the point of Sam Harris that G-d and religion are conversation stoppers. It doesn't matter what the rational merits and reasons of an argument or issue. If G-d says it, then there's no debate. It's the end of the conversation. Plain and simple.  
 So what?   Why can't certain conversations have conversation stoppers?  Why is there no such thing as a red line in society?    

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Such absolutistic dogma to live by! I, for one, don't believe that things in life are that simple. But that's a whole other issue for another discussion.

Judaism is not an "absolutistic dogma" but an obvious issues like this where G-d quite plainly says certain things are forbidden, there really can't be an argument about it.   It doesn't mean "things in life are that simple" (that's a quite general statement) and there can be many difficult and complicating circumstances surrounding that prohibition.   But nonetheless the prohibition exists, difficult or complicated as circumstances might be and we have to bear that in mind despite whatever obstacles...

I don't think it's accurate to assert that obeying G-d is "believing that things in life are simple."

Offline muman613

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Re: 13 y/o gay kid kills self
« Reply #124 on: October 07, 2010, 04:05:34 PM »
My addition to this argument is this...

http://www.mechon-mamre.org/jewfaq/sex.htm

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Attitude Towards Sexuality

In Jewish law, sex is not considered inherently shameful, sinful, or obscene.  Sex is not seen as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation.  Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer hara (the so-called "evil impulse"), it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer hara.  Like hunger, thirst, or other basic needs, sexual desire must be controlled, channeled, and satisfied in the proper time, place, and manner.  But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time and out of mutual love and desire, sexual relations are actually a mitzvah (a Biblical commandment, see Exodus 21,10 referring to "conjugal rights" and the commentary on it).

Sexual enjoyment (whether involving intercourse or mere hand holding) is permissible for Jews only within the context of marriage.  For Torah, sex is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure.  It is properly an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility.  The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense of commitment and responsibility.  The Torah forbids all sexual contact short of intercourse outside of the context of marriage, recognizing that such contact is likely lead to intercourse and is damaging in and of itself.  Jews are rabbinically forbidden to even engage in sexual fantasy, let alone masturbation alone or mutual masturbation outside of marriage.

The primary purpose of sexual relations is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife.  The first and foremost purpose of marriage is intimate long-term companionship (not just bearing children in a family context), and sexual relations play an important role in that.  Procreation is also a reason for sex, but it is not the only reason; after a woman is no longer able to bear children, she is still expected to have an active sex life, just as during her child-bearing years (the idea that old folks should not or do not have sexual relations is an alien one in a Torah context).  Sex between husband and wife is also recommended (and even required) at other times when conception is impossible, such as when the woman is pregnant or when the woman is using a permissible form of contraception.  Kosher sexual relations are not necessarily limited to those that can lead to pregnancy, either:  anal and oral relations are permitted, if enjoyable to both marital partners, though Jewish men have a separate commandment to reproduce, and should generally end up having normal vaginal intercourse.

In the Written Torah, one of the words used for sex between husband and wife comes from the root Yod-Dalet-Ayin, meaning to know, which vividly illustrates that proper Jewish sexuality involves both the heart and mind, not merely the body.  (The English expression "sexual knowledge" seems to be derived from this Biblical idea, but generally has a negative connotation lacking in the Hebrew.)

Nevertheless, Torah does not ignore the physical component of sexuality.  The need for physical compatibility between husband and wife is recognized in Jewish law.  A Jewish couple must meet at least once before the marriage, and if either prospective spouse finds the other physically unattractive, they should not marry.

Sexual relations should only be experienced in a time of joy.  Sex for selfish personal satisfaction, without regard for the partner's pleasure, is wrong and evil.  A man may never force his wife to have sex.  A couple may not have sexual relations while drunk or quarreling.  Sex may never be used as a weapon against a spouse, either by depriving the spouse of sex or by compelling it.  It is a serious offense to use sex (or lack thereof) to punish or manipulate a spouse.

Sex is the woman's right, not the man's.  A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her.  He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it.  The woman's right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and is one of a wife's three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce.  The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife.  It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband's occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract).  A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations.  In addition, a husband's consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.

Although sex is the woman's right, she does not have absolute discretion to withhold it from her husband.  A woman may not withhold sex from her husband as a form of punishment, and if she does, the husband may divorce her without paying the substantial divorce settlement provided for in the ketubah.

Although some sources take a more narrow view, the general view of halakhah is that any sexual conduct that does not regularly involve ejaculation outside the vagina is permissible.  As one passage in the Talmud states, "a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife".  In fact, there are passages in the Talmud that encourage foreplay to arouse the woman, and oral and anal sex are permitted (though not necessarily desirable), if they are not to the exclusion of vaginal sex.
You shall make yourself the Festival of Sukkoth for seven days, when you gather in [the produce] from your threshing floor and your vat.And you shall rejoice in your Festival-you, and your son, and your daughter, and your manservant, and your maidservant, and the Levite, and the stranger, and the orphan, and the widow, who are within your cities
Duet 16:13-14