Author Topic: My nieces are afraid of me (Read 2304 times)

Vito · « **on:** March 30, 2009, 12:24:53 PM »

What can I do? Or not do?

I was afraid of two of my uncles as a kid as well.. maybe it's just a phase?

The older one is very shy with me, the younger one is petrified of me. I try to find common interests with them but it doesn't work.. any suggestions?

✡ Hindu Zionist ॐ · « **Reply #1 on:** March 30, 2009, 12:34:28 PM »

I am facing the same problem, although my niece is good with me,my nephew does not like me... I can understand how you must be feeling.

New Yorker · « **Reply #2 on:** March 30, 2009, 12:42:35 PM »

Are they toddlers? Sounds like toddlers, they'll quickly grow out of it, the little ones are sometimes shy.

Vito · « **Reply #3 on:** March 30, 2009, 12:48:18 PM »

Quote from: New Yorker on March 30, 2009, 12:42:35 PM

Are they toddlers? Sounds like toddlers, they'll quickly grow out of it, the little ones are sometimes shy.

No, 4 and 7

New Yorker · « **Reply #4 on:** March 30, 2009, 12:54:06 PM »

I can understand the 4 year old, but the 7 year old is getting up there. I dunno. Sounds like one of them got it into their head that you're scary and the other one is going along with it. Maybe you remind them of a scary character they saw in a movie. Okay, if all else fails, try bribery, nothing says I'm not scary like brightly wrapped PRESENTS!

ag337 · « **Reply #5 on:** March 30, 2009, 01:14:17 PM »

Vito,

One of the things you could do is exercise patience and don't press the issue.
Don't make it seem to them that you are trying to hard.
Children have very keen senses in regards to their environments and the people who inhabit them (especially little girls). They are very intuitive from a young age.

I really do believe that you need to let nature take it's course and everything will fall into place naturally.
At least, this has been my experience in similar situations.

briann · « **Reply #6 on:** March 30, 2009, 01:15:48 PM »

Kids that age like goofiness. Try that. Whatever you do... dont be serious around them.

Dr. Dan · « **Reply #7 on:** March 30, 2009, 01:16:55 PM »

please elaborate...what do you mean by "petrified and shy"?

New Yorker · « **Reply #8 on:** March 30, 2009, 01:30:36 PM »

I can imagine how you must feel, it would have broke my heart if my little nephew was afraid of me when he was little.

Vito · « **Reply #9 on:** March 30, 2009, 01:48:33 PM »

Quote from: Dr. Dan on March 30, 2009, 01:16:55 PM

please elaborate...what do you mean by "petrified and shy"?

The older one tries to talk to me, but it's a real effort. The young one will grab her doll and curl up in a corner when I go near her..

Dr. Dan · « **Reply #10 on:** March 30, 2009, 01:58:43 PM »

Quote from: Vito on March 30, 2009, 01:48:33 PM

Quote from: Dr. Dan on March 30, 2009, 01:16:55 PM
please elaborate...what do you mean by "petrified and shy"?

The older one tries to talk to me, but it's a real effort. The young one will grab her doll and curl up in a corner when I go near her..

I wonder if it is your demeanor or your natural size. I have no idea how you normally look.

I would keep a smile on your face when you are around them and start with the older one. Find out what she likes to do for fun and as a big uncle maybe take her some place fun and do something fun with her. If she seems to enjoy herself, the younger one will follow.

New Yorker · « **Reply #11 on:** March 30, 2009, 02:01:27 PM »

Sigh, just try the bribery, you'll change from scary Uncle Vito, to Uncle Vito the one with the prezzies!

Ulli · « **Reply #12 on:** March 30, 2009, 02:04:22 PM »

I have a very good relation to my nephews, but a reserved relation to my niece.

It was always like that. But not so hard that she run away from me. But I felt and feel everytime uncomfortable if I meet her, and I am shure she feels the same.

Sometimes people have a natural aversion to each other.

Confederate Kahanist · « **Reply #13 on:** March 30, 2009, 02:32:49 PM »

One of my cousins used to be afraid of me when she was little.

Spiraling Leopard · « **Reply #14 on:** March 30, 2009, 03:55:48 PM »

Don't push yourself or them to like one and other.

Lisa · « **Reply #15 on:** March 30, 2009, 05:13:04 PM »

I would just talk to your nieces as nicely as you would talk to anyone else. Don't gush too much. Some women can be much too syrupy sweet around children. They're like "HIIIIII! " Children are naturally more reserved around people who are not their parents. So I would just be friendly with them. But if they're reserved, don't push it. Just go about talking to your siblings normally, and maybe the kids will start to warm up to you.

Ulli · « **Reply #16 on:** March 30, 2009, 05:27:06 PM »

I am giving my nephews evertime an extra big piece of meat or chicken if they were at my house for dinner with my brother.

But they liked me before, so I don't know if this would work in your case Vito.

~Hanna~ · « **Reply #17 on:** March 30, 2009, 06:19:20 PM »

Quote from: Vito on March 30, 2009, 12:24:53 PM

What can I do? Or not do?

I was afraid of two of my uncles as a kid as well.. maybe it's just a phase?

The older one is very shy with me, the younger one is petrified of me. I try to find common interests with them but it doesn't work.. any suggestions?

Puppets....

go buy some silly puppets, go home and practice, next time you see them, take the puppets....

the puppets can make them laugh..

if you need some links to some awesome puppet websites, PM me, I know of some.

(I have puppets, lol)...

nessuno · « **Reply #18 on:** March 30, 2009, 06:59:18 PM »

What do they like to do?
Try to find out.
If you can talk to them about things they like, it seems to help.
My daughter enjoys when I do the things she likes with her.
I'm pretty good at Lego Batman, Star Wars and Indiana Jones for Play Station after hours of playing.

You have to work on being 'relaxed' around kids.
I had to work on that for the religion class, full of fourth graders, that I teach. Even though I'm a Mother.

cjd · « **Reply #19 on:** March 30, 2009, 07:10:54 PM »

I have quite the opposite problem with my niece we argue on a regular basis.

You would be surprised how well that works to build a relationship.

nessuno · « **Reply #20 on:** March 30, 2009, 07:40:39 PM »

Quote from: cjd on March 30, 2009, 07:10:54 PM

I have quite the opposite problem with my niece we argue on a regular basis. You would be surprised how well that works to build a relationship.

It's a real

/

relationship. Something to behold.

Vito - BullCat jr. suggest bribery. Easter is coming up.

'Doesn't have to be a big gift. A barbie, hair clips or a pillow that says ANGEL on it...or just a big fat I love you card for both of them.'

BullCat jr.'s uncle gave her nice art supplies for Christmas. He made a friend for life.

Ithaca-37 · « **Reply #21 on:** March 30, 2009, 08:06:44 PM »

I've long had the same problem with children and housepets, even larger dogs. If they're not used to taller/ bigger men and/or men with bigger voices, then both children and dogs will shy away. I try to speak a bit more softly around the kids and get on my knees to speak directly to children. As for the dogs, I don't care too much if they're afraid.

37

drlmg · « **Reply #22 on:** March 31, 2009, 02:23:19 AM »

Maybe their parents have said something in regard to you that the kids misunderstood. I would ask the parents if they know what possibly could have made them fear you. Maybe they know a weirdo that looks similar to you (I don't mean that bad, some people can be weirdos but look normal).

Maybe treat them like a horse..... really. If a horse won't come near you sometimes you can just ignore it and go about your business but doing something that looks as if it is really a cool, fun, or interesting (or food) but try to limit their view to what it is and keep ignoring them. Before too long the horse will come up behind you to see what you are doing with curiosity overtaking the fear. Maybe the kids will come closer to see what you are doing with their mind on whatever it is your doing rather than on being afraid of you.....catch them off guard then grab them real quickly!!!! (Joking on the grab part)

another worthless reply by drlmg

good luck

ProudAndZionist · « **Reply #23 on:** March 31, 2009, 10:08:17 AM »

Hmm...
Interesting. Kids and animals are always friendly with me.

~Hanna~ · « **Reply #24 on:** March 31, 2009, 12:26:01 PM »

VITO: please watch this video about Folkmanis puppets....!!!!

I ALSO POSTED A PIC OF THEIR BORDER COLLIE PUPPET....

http://www.folkmanis.com/video.php

I own several of their puppets, INCLUDING A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR!

Kids really LOVE these puppets!!

This video shows their Labrador Retriever...

They also have a SHEEPDOG and If I remember correctly they even have a German Shepard...

These dogs are lifelife and cuddly...

Ohhhh your nieces would love this....

HERE IS A LINK TO THEIR WEBSITE:

http://www.folkmanis.com/