SEX LIFE OF THE KORAN
(complete with interpretations)
Koran 78:31
As for the righteous, they shall surely triumph. Theirs shall be gardens and vineyards, and high- bosomed virgins for companions: a truly overflowing cup.
-size 44D no doubt!
Koran 37:40-48
...They will sit with bashful, dark-eyed virgins, as chaste as the sheltered eggs of ostriches.
-what th'?...all of them on one squatter toilet?...nasty!
Koran 44:51-55
...Yes and We shall wed them to dark-eyed houris. (beautiful virgins)
-you spelled "whores" wrong@!
Koran 52:17-20
...They shall recline on couches ranged in rows. To dark-eyed houris (virgins) we shall wed them...
-yes!...to dark-eyed, 450lb. whoris!
-and they're "reclining" because A-rabs haven't invented the cranes needed to haul their fat butts off the couches!
Koran 55:56-57
In them will be bashful virgins neither man nor Jinn will have touched before.Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny ?"
-neither man nor Jinn, but probably every jig in Harlem's passed 'em around like a bottle of MD2020!
Koran 55:57-58
Virgins as fair as corals and rubies. Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny ?"
-well, for starters, how about Coralinenema J. Calhoun, & Reldeshonda "Ruby" Lipsuhmilyun
Koran 56:7-40
...We created the houris (the beautiful women) and made them virgins, loving companions for those on the right hand.. "
-tell those whoris to get their fat butts off of my right hand!...tell 'em to shift on to my
left hand (that's the hand I call "toilet paper"!)
Koran 55:70-77
"In each there shall be virgins chaste and fair... Dark eyed virgins sheltered in their tents whom neither man nor Jin will have touched before..
-could've sworn I saw "Rastus" slippin' out of those tents about fifteen minutes ago...his eyes all bloodshot, and smackin his watermelon lips like a gator chompin' on some meat!
In the Hadiths, Mohammed goes one step further and expands the promise of virgins to include a free sex market where there is no limit of the number of sexual partners. Women and young boys are on display as if in a fruit market where you can choose the desired ripeness.
-free sex market?....that camel jockey's a day late, and a dollar short!
Quote from Hadiths
Al Hadis, Vol. 4, p. 172, No. 34
Ali reported that the Apostle of Allah said, "There is in Paradise a market wherein there will be no buying or selling, but will consist of men and women. When a man desires a beauty, he will have intercourse with them."
-by "beauty", the Profit here intends a description of the fragrant rectal excretions of the Sacred He-Camel.
-but how about when a Mohammedan wants to "do it" with a woman?...then what?